Breaking Point PPV results!
Sources:
Paul Marshall: WWE Breaking Point Report (via Pulse Wrestling)
wwegirls: Girls Talk Breaking Point Without John Morrison
Big Show & Jericho vs. MVP & Mark Henry, for the unified Tag Team titles:
They go back and forth. Nothing really notable happened. Jericho & Show get the win. HA. Yay. :)
Miz vs. Kofi, for the U.S. championship:
Kickass match! They both looked awesome (no pun intended), but Kofi won the match.
DX vs. Legacy, "falls count anywhere" submission match:
Dibiase has a black eye and a "busted ear" (not sure what that means); the wwegirls are all over it because he's Dibiase and we love him. Somebody mentioned that there's a subway right under the arena, so this match could end up... anywhere? Imagine how awesome that would be!
To start the match, they brawl all over the place; forget tagging in and out, it's a free-for-all, and the refs are just following them around keeping track of the action. They dive into the crowd and chase each other through the stands out to the concourses. Ha, Rhodes stepped on Michaels' head! They beat the hell out of each other some more, eventually end up back down at the ring. This is actually going back and forth pretty evenly. Then Triple-H hits a spinebuster on Dibiase through a table, then goes after Rhodes, but Dibiase to the rescue -- he knocks Triple-H silly with a water cooler to the head! And Rhodes clobbers H with a chair! This is excellent. Legacy teams up again to go after Michaels and beat on him some, then Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music on Rhodes, and it looks bad, but then Dibiase to the rescue again! Rhodes takes a header into the ring post and Michaels & Dibiase face off. Dibiase goes for a big move on Michaels, but Michaels gets out of it, only for Rhodes to catch him at the ring post. Rhodes locks in a Figure 4 on Michaels on the ring post! DiBiase locks in another killer hold! Triple-H tries to get back in time to save Michaels, but MICHAELS TAPS! OMG YESSSSS!!! LEGACY TEAMWORK FOR THE WIN!!! Paul Marshall: "I don’t care what anyone says: A+."
After the match, some upset DX fan throws their glow sticks at Dibiase. LOL.
Kane vs. Khali, Singapore cane match (they beat on each other with sticks):
Nobody really cares. Kane wins.
Christian vs. William Regal, for the ECW championship:
To start, Kozlov and Ezekiel are banned from ringside. Boo-yah. Go Christian! Nothing extraordinary happens; it's a clean match, Christian survives some awesome-looking throws and gets the win. Kickass! YAY HOTTIE!
Orton vs. Cena, submission match for the WWE championship:
(Even before it starts, the wwegirls are getting all hot & heavy with anticipation. rkowhore79: "ok. yeah. sex times. brb. no commenting. too..stimulated.")
The match starts. Yowzer. Beating the crap out of each other with any and all ringside props (chairs, ring posts, table, stairs, etc.). OMG, Orton comes up with a set of handcuffs and cuffs Cena to the turnbuckle (learningforever: "Oh god, this is going to get very kinky, very fast." I'm glad somebody said it so I didn't have to!) and Orton doles out some punishment. (teddysbabymama: "mmmm...scandalous" - oth_leyton_love: "OH SHIT RANDY. THAT'S NC-17 not PG." - teddysbabymama: "omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kiss already!!" - rkowhore79: "ohgoddddddddddddddd john's screamsssssssss. it's just like i wrote it. oh god. this is all too much. i'm ded.") Eventually Cena grabs the keys back from Orton, gets one of his hands loose and locks the free cuff around Orton's wrist (!!! and they wonder where the slashers get their ideas??? rkowhore79: "this is the sexiest thing i've ever seen.") Cena gets the upper hand and locks on his favorite submission hold (omg, my brain is so in the gutter), and Orton taps out!
Bah. Well, maybe he can go start another interesting feud instead of getting stuck with Cena and/or DX every week.
Paul Marshall: "I can’t buy Cena beating Orton quickly after being raped for 15 minutes with handcuffs and kendo sticks." Wow, he actually said that. Some parting gems from wwegirls: lyssmich: "I feel dirty after watching that. lol" - rollofquarters: "Don't you just love it when the fan fiction writes itself?" - oth_leyton_love: "it was 20 mins of the hottest porn i've ever seen. and they were clothed. WTF." Ah, the slasher fangirls are getting their kink on tonight, LOL!
Punk vs. Undertaker, submission match for the heavyweight championship:
Some big moves go back and forth, it's a pretty good match. Undertaker finally locks in his killer hold and Punk taps out! Undertaker is the winner and new champion! ...But wait, here comes Teddy Long to remind us that Vickie Guerrero banned that hold a while back, and that decision was never reversed. Whoa, continuity! So... they restart the match. They go back and forth a few more times, and Punk locks in his submission hold, and the bell rings but Undertaker NEVER TAPPED! You have got to be kidding me! Screwjob!!! The referee and Punk run away. Teddy Long seems to be in on this. Undertaker looks seriously pissed. (And rightfully so!)
End of show. Dude.
So... I can be on-board with the Orton-Cena thing. Wow. That was hot. Totally kinky and weird and hot. *must cleanse brain of dirty thoughts*