Mid-week WWE update: Raw & ECW
More fun with Orton; Trish Stratus hosts; Batista returns; my dream tag teams; and more!
Sources:
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's WWE RAW Report
Andy Wheeler: For Your Consideration…Stratusfaction Guaranteed
wwegirls: Girls Talk Raw with 20 Time World Champ
Matthew Michaels: ECW Real-Time Coverage
Monday night Raw:
Batista is here! Aw, I love him, but he's starting to look his age. And his arm is still in this huge brace. It sounds like he might be working up to a retirement announcement, and Orton comes out to talk smack, and then Batista rips the brace off -- surprise! He's back, and he's making the jump to Smackdown, and tonight he gets one last match against Orton: No Holds Barred. Ooh. (Think what you want about Batista moving to SD, but it makes sense: their big stars have been dropping like flies, e.g. Edge, Mysterio, Jeff Hardy. They're a little light on established main-eventers at the moment.)
Trish Stratus. I get the impression that the fans have been looking forward to her appearance, but I didn't start watching until after she retired. What gives? Was she just that awesome? The Toronto crowd is into it, but she's Canadian, so that's to be expected. She makes fun of Jericho getting owned by Bob Barker last week. Hee. :)
Kofi Kingston & Primo vs. Miz & Jack Swagger:
Is it just me, or does Primo need to go away? He's irritating, not cute, and his music sucks. (Andy Wheeler seems kind of irritable in his recap, but he made me laugh here: "Primo has new and incredibly crappy theme music. Just when you thought he couldn't suck more donkey balls.") On the other hand, I can't really hate this match because Mr. "I'm Awesome" himself is here! And Miz & Swagger win, yay! I'm still digging Miz's new look.
Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox, #1 contender match for the women's championship:
What? Are you kidding me? Where's Beth Phoenix? Gail Kim is ok, but Alicia Fox? Has done nothing to impress me whatsoever. Alicia Fox wins. This is crap.
Ah, here we go, Beth Phoenix storms into Trish's office backstage to give her a well-deserved bitching-out. Beth wants to know why she wasn't in the match. Before Trish can come up with a snappy comeback, as Andy Wheeler says, "a hurricane of awesome blows into the room in the form of Chris Jericho." YES. Beth and Jericho are totally ganging up. I love it! Trish decides to schedule a tag match tonight: her and a partner of her choosing, vs. Beth & Jericho. YES! Pretty please will Christian be here? PLEASE???
Legacy comes out to brag about their win against DX. Cody steals Triple-H's "Are You Ready" line -- LOVE. He has an incredibly sexy voice, which makes the lisp that much more adorable. Ted looks gorgeous as always. Backstage, DX looks pissed.
Ted Dibiase vs. Shawn Michaels:
YAY!!! Ted opens up a can of whoop-ass. I approve. They go back and forth in the ring while Triple-H and Cody glare at each other outside the ring. Finally Michaels looks for Sweet Chin Music, but Cody grabs his leg to pull him off-balance, the ref calls the DQ, and they all start brawling. Triple-H throws Cody into a camera -- poor cameraman.
My thoughts on the match: I want to know if Ted is going to take this as "Cody cost me the match" or "my BFF saved me from getting kicked in the head." Or both? I keep hearing that Teddy's going to turn face, but I haven't really seen any solid groundwork for that yet. Cody, however, has been firmly set in a heel role. We'll see what happens. Andy Wheeler had this to say about Sunday's PPV: "this progressed what I talked about last month; Legacy getting the job done while Orton falters. Let those seeds of dissention begin to grow."
Hornswaggle & Evan Bourne vs. Chavo & Carlito:
I am so ready for this Hornswaggle-Chavo feud (if it can even be legitimately called that) to be over and forgotten. I was ready for it to be over with their first match. Hornswaggle is entertaining, sure, but let's not pretend that he belongs in the ring with these guys. Chavo's a decent wrestler and he doesn't deserve this kind of stupid ritual humiliation. After losing, Chavo finally declares "I Quit!" Please let this be the end of it, PLEASE!!! P.S. Rosa (formerly known as Beth Phoenix's #1 Fan) accompanied Carlito & Chavo to the ring in a black leather minidress and really cute black ankle boots. Rosa is HOT.
Backstage, Cena discusses Sunday's PPV match and sets up the Cena vs. Orton hell-in-a-cell for next month's PPV (splendory: "WOOO!!!! Yes Centon hell in a cell sex match" - oth_leyton_love: "or sex in a cell. same thing"). With the raving over-the-top slash overtones dancing through my head, this whole thing just took it further. I was rolling on the floor laughing, with really dirty mental images skipping through my head (lesson_in_love: "As long as there's handcuffs, you can do anything you want at HiaC, Johnny."). I have decided that Cena & Orton would make the BEST TAG TEAM EVER: kicking ass and glaring at each other meaningfully. And doing unmentionable things behind the scenes.
Jericho & Beth Phoenix vs. Trish & ... MVP. Srsly? Such a let-down.
MVP irks me. He's not as cool as he thinks he is. Also, WTF? I wanted Christian! ... Anyway. Match: bleh. Beth Phoenix is AWESOME and Jericho is a great tag partner! LOVE! MVP is meh. Trish is ok, but she's so tiny compared to Beth that Beth really could have just squished her like a bug. (No offense to any Trish fans, but seriously, look at Beth Phoenix. She can probably squish most of the women in the WWE.) Big Show comes out to help and gets the match DQ'ed. Trish gets pissed and decides to make it a 3-on-3 match, re-starting immediately. Cue Mark Henry. (Am I the only one who thinks "ew, gross!" every time he shows up? MVP & Mark Henry might be one of the worst face teams EVER.) Trish & company win the match. Whatever, lame. However, LOL at Beth bitching out MVP! And I LOVED how well Beth & Jericho & Show worked as a team; they were looking out for each other and fighting dirty and everything. LOVE!!! More, please?
Batista vs. Randy Orton:
Batista seems to have some anger he'd like to work out here. They beat on each other some, Randy decides he's had enough and heads out, but then Cena puts in an appearance and Orton looks like he can't decide which death he'd prefer. Eventually he heads back toward Batista and gets powerbombed for his trouble; pin, 3-count, end of match. End of show.
Tuesday night ECW:
I'll be honest, I really don't care about anything on ECW except Christian. Please, WWE, move him to one of the other shows, it will make my life so much easier.
10-Man Battle Royale, #1 contender for ECW championship:
We have Shelton Benjamin, Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, Tyler Reks, Sheamus, Yoshi, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder. Eh. Tommy Dreamer has crowd favor on his side; Kozlov & Jackson have the recent feud; William Regal was neatly cut out of things earlier in the evening by GM Tiffany. Shelton Benjamin is still made of awesome. Zack Ryder wins it. I thought we were getting Christian & Dreamer vs. Kozlov & Jackson -- but no. No Christian whatsoever. I feel totally gypped. Not cool, ECW, totally not cool.
Sources:
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's WWE RAW Report
Andy Wheeler: For Your Consideration…Stratusfaction Guaranteed
wwegirls: Girls Talk Raw with 20 Time World Champ
Matthew Michaels: ECW Real-Time Coverage
Monday night Raw:
Batista is here! Aw, I love him, but he's starting to look his age. And his arm is still in this huge brace. It sounds like he might be working up to a retirement announcement, and Orton comes out to talk smack, and then Batista rips the brace off -- surprise! He's back, and he's making the jump to Smackdown, and tonight he gets one last match against Orton: No Holds Barred. Ooh. (Think what you want about Batista moving to SD, but it makes sense: their big stars have been dropping like flies, e.g. Edge, Mysterio, Jeff Hardy. They're a little light on established main-eventers at the moment.)
Trish Stratus. I get the impression that the fans have been looking forward to her appearance, but I didn't start watching until after she retired. What gives? Was she just that awesome? The Toronto crowd is into it, but she's Canadian, so that's to be expected. She makes fun of Jericho getting owned by Bob Barker last week. Hee. :)
Kofi Kingston & Primo vs. Miz & Jack Swagger:
Is it just me, or does Primo need to go away? He's irritating, not cute, and his music sucks. (Andy Wheeler seems kind of irritable in his recap, but he made me laugh here: "Primo has new and incredibly crappy theme music. Just when you thought he couldn't suck more donkey balls.") On the other hand, I can't really hate this match because Mr. "I'm Awesome" himself is here! And Miz & Swagger win, yay! I'm still digging Miz's new look.
Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox, #1 contender match for the women's championship:
What? Are you kidding me? Where's Beth Phoenix? Gail Kim is ok, but Alicia Fox? Has done nothing to impress me whatsoever. Alicia Fox wins. This is crap.
Ah, here we go, Beth Phoenix storms into Trish's office backstage to give her a well-deserved bitching-out. Beth wants to know why she wasn't in the match. Before Trish can come up with a snappy comeback, as Andy Wheeler says, "a hurricane of awesome blows into the room in the form of Chris Jericho." YES. Beth and Jericho are totally ganging up. I love it! Trish decides to schedule a tag match tonight: her and a partner of her choosing, vs. Beth & Jericho. YES! Pretty please will Christian be here? PLEASE???
Legacy comes out to brag about their win against DX. Cody steals Triple-H's "Are You Ready" line -- LOVE. He has an incredibly sexy voice, which makes the lisp that much more adorable. Ted looks gorgeous as always. Backstage, DX looks pissed.
Ted Dibiase vs. Shawn Michaels:
YAY!!! Ted opens up a can of whoop-ass. I approve. They go back and forth in the ring while Triple-H and Cody glare at each other outside the ring. Finally Michaels looks for Sweet Chin Music, but Cody grabs his leg to pull him off-balance, the ref calls the DQ, and they all start brawling. Triple-H throws Cody into a camera -- poor cameraman.
My thoughts on the match: I want to know if Ted is going to take this as "Cody cost me the match" or "my BFF saved me from getting kicked in the head." Or both? I keep hearing that Teddy's going to turn face, but I haven't really seen any solid groundwork for that yet. Cody, however, has been firmly set in a heel role. We'll see what happens. Andy Wheeler had this to say about Sunday's PPV: "this progressed what I talked about last month; Legacy getting the job done while Orton falters. Let those seeds of dissention begin to grow."
Hornswaggle & Evan Bourne vs. Chavo & Carlito:
I am so ready for this Hornswaggle-Chavo feud (if it can even be legitimately called that) to be over and forgotten. I was ready for it to be over with their first match. Hornswaggle is entertaining, sure, but let's not pretend that he belongs in the ring with these guys. Chavo's a decent wrestler and he doesn't deserve this kind of stupid ritual humiliation. After losing, Chavo finally declares "I Quit!" Please let this be the end of it, PLEASE!!! P.S. Rosa (formerly known as Beth Phoenix's #1 Fan) accompanied Carlito & Chavo to the ring in a black leather minidress and really cute black ankle boots. Rosa is HOT.
Backstage, Cena discusses Sunday's PPV match and sets up the Cena vs. Orton hell-in-a-cell for next month's PPV (splendory: "WOOO!!!! Yes Centon hell in a cell sex match" - oth_leyton_love: "or sex in a cell. same thing"). With the raving over-the-top slash overtones dancing through my head, this whole thing just took it further. I was rolling on the floor laughing, with really dirty mental images skipping through my head (lesson_in_love: "As long as there's handcuffs, you can do anything you want at HiaC, Johnny."). I have decided that Cena & Orton would make the BEST TAG TEAM EVER: kicking ass and glaring at each other meaningfully. And doing unmentionable things behind the scenes.
Jericho & Beth Phoenix vs. Trish & ... MVP. Srsly? Such a let-down.
MVP irks me. He's not as cool as he thinks he is. Also, WTF? I wanted Christian! ... Anyway. Match: bleh. Beth Phoenix is AWESOME and Jericho is a great tag partner! LOVE! MVP is meh. Trish is ok, but she's so tiny compared to Beth that Beth really could have just squished her like a bug. (No offense to any Trish fans, but seriously, look at Beth Phoenix. She can probably squish most of the women in the WWE.) Big Show comes out to help and gets the match DQ'ed. Trish gets pissed and decides to make it a 3-on-3 match, re-starting immediately. Cue Mark Henry. (Am I the only one who thinks "ew, gross!" every time he shows up? MVP & Mark Henry might be one of the worst face teams EVER.) Trish & company win the match. Whatever, lame. However, LOL at Beth bitching out MVP! And I LOVED how well Beth & Jericho & Show worked as a team; they were looking out for each other and fighting dirty and everything. LOVE!!! More, please?
Batista vs. Randy Orton:
Batista seems to have some anger he'd like to work out here. They beat on each other some, Randy decides he's had enough and heads out, but then Cena puts in an appearance and Orton looks like he can't decide which death he'd prefer. Eventually he heads back toward Batista and gets powerbombed for his trouble; pin, 3-count, end of match. End of show.
Tuesday night ECW:
I'll be honest, I really don't care about anything on ECW except Christian. Please, WWE, move him to one of the other shows, it will make my life so much easier.
10-Man Battle Royale, #1 contender for ECW championship:
We have Shelton Benjamin, Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, Tyler Reks, Sheamus, Yoshi, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder. Eh. Tommy Dreamer has crowd favor on his side; Kozlov & Jackson have the recent feud; William Regal was neatly cut out of things earlier in the evening by GM Tiffany. Shelton Benjamin is still made of awesome. Zack Ryder wins it. I thought we were getting Christian & Dreamer vs. Kozlov & Jackson -- but no. No Christian whatsoever. I feel totally gypped. Not cool, ECW, totally not cool.