(no subject)
Its officially October, and far too cold already. Ive been feeling pretty depressed not because of how cold its been, just how my life has been playing out. Its pretty pathetic that I am more truthful on my livejournal than I am to most people. Theres just been a lot on my mind. Like where I stand with Levi, he keeps acting as though were still together, but we're not, I dont hate it, because its nice to feel wanted and to know at least someone cares about me, but then again I dont want to lead him on. Another thing thats really been bothering me is that I thought I had a new friend and something exciting beginning / was feeling geniunely happy, but somehow I screwed up and now I feel uber ignored and shity about myself, I guess thats what I get for being myself. Lastly I feel like Emily is mad at me, she never calls me to hang out, instead its always her and Caitlin now, I dont know what Im doing wrong here, but I feel like everyones turning on me, and Levi seems to be the only one who cares, which makes it hard for me to spend time being broken up from him. I just want to be happy, even in a really small way. Im going to Windsor tomorrow night with Caitlin and Emily and Im really apprehensive, 'clubbing' is really not my thing, neither is drinking for that matter, and seeing as neither of them seem to be all the happy with me, I could have a possible disaster on my hands [crosses fingers]