shit house!
well here i am sitting up in my study listening to my parents fighting for like the hundredth time this week! its over just little things like dad taknig his medication and eating the wrong things but still the fightning is beginning to become unbareable! this morning i woke up at 5: 30 to my dad yelling his head off at nothing and my mum screaming that she cant take it anymore! is this the end for my happy little family that everyone thinks is so perfect?
from what i can gather all the fights are started by my dad normally its cos he wont take his insulin i can understand how hard it must be for him i wouldnt like injecting my self either but he was told if he doesnt take it he could be dead by the end of the year! i cant understand why he wouldnt just shut the fuck up and do it i mean we all have to do things we dont want to do like the hsc for example! but we just put our heads sown and fucking do it! he complaing that he doesnt want to eat all the healthy shit then the answer is simple DONT FUCKING EAT IT u moron its easy if you dont want to stick to your diet then dont and die see if we care we have done all we can possibly do to help him but he has to want to help himself!
i mean i thought everything was fine, dad and i were getting along just fine actually for once we were getting along better than we have in my whole life but over the last few days he has just gone nuts!!! he yells about everything sometimes i just wish he would leave im sick of his shit! im about to enter the most stressful time in my life and he wants to create more shit for me to worry about honestly he needs to take a freking good look at himself and the shit he is doing to thisfamily!!!! FUCK he makes me mad sometimes!
HA HA HA last night my parents told me they were going to officially cut me off from my family!!! what a load of shit! bah ha ha ha they think i dont deserve to dbe in the family cos i spend all my time awa from my family! shit mabey they should take a look at the way they arebehaving and they might see why!!!! fucking idiots HA HA HA
im so angry all the time too the stress im going through is unbelievable right now it seems that everthing i touch turns to shit! the only good thig i have going for me right now is the happiness i find in michel it feels like whenever im with him all this shit seems to fade away it just doesnt matter when im with him! he has this amazing grasp on life he doesnt care what happens it all works out! he just doesnt care about all this shitty stuff that i spend my whole life freaking out over thats why i spend so much time with him the more time i spend with him the more this wonderful character is revealed to me! i could easily fall for this guy he is juat that freaking awesome!
today i had this amazing anger in me i am just that stressed out its like i could feel something snapping in me- these smart arse year 11 dick heads have decided to make my table their home! im not happy i know its only a table for fucks sake but i dunno i was just so mad at them i could have jumped up and screamed my lungs out at them i was soooooooo pissed off i just couldnt believe it they were just year 11 kids sitting at our table but i was so upset over iti cant even begin to explain why i was so upset i dont know why i just was! all this hsc shit is finally getting to me and the freakig waiting for the results is the worst bit i studied so hard for modern i think ill cry if i dont get some sort of a good or improved mark i think i will literally loose it if i dont go well i just think that one more straw and ill snap i feel so on edge the whole time i am juat waiting to snap and go nuts! i cant handle this all
now i know that everyone is in the same boat but when you look at them at school everyone is so cool calm and collected its weird i just cant do it and look ok aswell i mean if i had a dollar for everytime someone said i look like shit today every person i saw was like oh alex you look stressed! well no shit im redy to snap but i just reply with the same old ohhh im just tired yeah tired of this shit tired to the extent that i havent slept for the past two nights at all not a wink! i am emotionally physically and spiritually drained theres not much more i can deal with guys please this is my cry for help im scared i need you right now and i dont just mean a little not on live journal i need real people to give me real hugs and someone to tell me its all gonna be ok and thta i CAn do it cos im really not so sure any more im scared that im gonna snap and its one of you guys that is gonna be in the road! im just dso scared what will become of me will this hsc destroy me im only half the person i used to be i remember i used to be full of jokes and people used to come to me for a laugh now i hardly have the energy to laugh at all what will become of me? how much more can i handle before i become a quivering ball of goo on the ground?
from what i can gather all the fights are started by my dad normally its cos he wont take his insulin i can understand how hard it must be for him i wouldnt like injecting my self either but he was told if he doesnt take it he could be dead by the end of the year! i cant understand why he wouldnt just shut the fuck up and do it i mean we all have to do things we dont want to do like the hsc for example! but we just put our heads sown and fucking do it! he complaing that he doesnt want to eat all the healthy shit then the answer is simple DONT FUCKING EAT IT u moron its easy if you dont want to stick to your diet then dont and die see if we care we have done all we can possibly do to help him but he has to want to help himself!
i mean i thought everything was fine, dad and i were getting along just fine actually for once we were getting along better than we have in my whole life but over the last few days he has just gone nuts!!! he yells about everything sometimes i just wish he would leave im sick of his shit! im about to enter the most stressful time in my life and he wants to create more shit for me to worry about honestly he needs to take a freking good look at himself and the shit he is doing to thisfamily!!!! FUCK he makes me mad sometimes!
HA HA HA last night my parents told me they were going to officially cut me off from my family!!! what a load of shit! bah ha ha ha they think i dont deserve to dbe in the family cos i spend all my time awa from my family! shit mabey they should take a look at the way they arebehaving and they might see why!!!! fucking idiots HA HA HA
im so angry all the time too the stress im going through is unbelievable right now it seems that everthing i touch turns to shit! the only good thig i have going for me right now is the happiness i find in michel it feels like whenever im with him all this shit seems to fade away it just doesnt matter when im with him! he has this amazing grasp on life he doesnt care what happens it all works out! he just doesnt care about all this shitty stuff that i spend my whole life freaking out over thats why i spend so much time with him the more time i spend with him the more this wonderful character is revealed to me! i could easily fall for this guy he is juat that freaking awesome!
today i had this amazing anger in me i am just that stressed out its like i could feel something snapping in me- these smart arse year 11 dick heads have decided to make my table their home! im not happy i know its only a table for fucks sake but i dunno i was just so mad at them i could have jumped up and screamed my lungs out at them i was soooooooo pissed off i just couldnt believe it they were just year 11 kids sitting at our table but i was so upset over iti cant even begin to explain why i was so upset i dont know why i just was! all this hsc shit is finally getting to me and the freakig waiting for the results is the worst bit i studied so hard for modern i think ill cry if i dont get some sort of a good or improved mark i think i will literally loose it if i dont go well i just think that one more straw and ill snap i feel so on edge the whole time i am juat waiting to snap and go nuts! i cant handle this all
now i know that everyone is in the same boat but when you look at them at school everyone is so cool calm and collected its weird i just cant do it and look ok aswell i mean if i had a dollar for everytime someone said i look like shit today every person i saw was like oh alex you look stressed! well no shit im redy to snap but i just reply with the same old ohhh im just tired yeah tired of this shit tired to the extent that i havent slept for the past two nights at all not a wink! i am emotionally physically and spiritually drained theres not much more i can deal with guys please this is my cry for help im scared i need you right now and i dont just mean a little not on live journal i need real people to give me real hugs and someone to tell me its all gonna be ok and thta i CAn do it cos im really not so sure any more im scared that im gonna snap and its one of you guys that is gonna be in the road! im just dso scared what will become of me will this hsc destroy me im only half the person i used to be i remember i used to be full of jokes and people used to come to me for a laugh now i hardly have the energy to laugh at all what will become of me? how much more can i handle before i become a quivering ball of goo on the ground?