Its been so long
Tonight I feel as if I want to scream but I know no one will hear me so I dont even want to waste the energy to do it. I dont think I can make it another two months before I see Clayton. And then do another year of this long distance shit... Its not fair. I feel trapped. I dont want to be here and I dont want to go to school in Utah...but I know I do want to be with him. I feel so alone here. I have no one to hug me when I wake up and tell me to have a good day and no one to kiss goodnight. Why cant he just go to a different school!!!! three years at a community college is so lame. I mean its good for him because he said he will get to go to a D1 school, but Im so afraid that he will get hurt or his back will get worse. I hate it. I hope this all pays off someday. I hope he goes Pro or at least pro in Europe. He will do one or both I know it, if he keeps it up. So I have two tests this week and I havent studied for either of them yet. I have only had one test and I got a D on it! Chemistry rocks my world its so great...whoot.
Shame such a shame think I kinda lost myself again. A day... yesterday, really should be leaving but I stay... Say, say my name...I need a little love to ease the pain, its easy to remember when it came cause it feels like Ive been here before. feels like something that Ive done before I could fake it but I still want more. Fate made to fade, passions over rated anyway. Say my name, I need a little love to ease the pain. I need a little love to ease the pain.