Favortism and Organization
I can't sleep lately...it's really bad too...I find that I can only fall asleep at like 7 in the morning and then i sleep till 2...it sucks. I finally just got drunk last night to pass out at like 4am...woke up at 10am and was like sweeeeeet i'm gonna be tired tonight...but then feel asleep at 7pm, woke up at 10pm and here I am again at 6am and not even remotely tired. mother fucker. It's throwing me out of whack completely.
I wanna wake up early to start being healthy and work out and maybe detox...i feel like when i wake up so late, I just need to hurry into work, even though I work till 4ish am...why is it so hard to eat healthy and work out? I swear to god I can motivate anyone in the world but myself. I have no will power it seems.
I watched our 3 film today, since I hadn't edited that one...and I gotta say it looks amazing. Kinda made me smile a bit.
I see potential in Judgment Day, especially as I go through these reshoots I asked for...it just sucks that everyone kinda checked out on the film b/c they hate Jones. To me, all of these films should be given equal treatment, but there is a clear hierarchy of favoritism that pisses me off to no end. Dunwich gets like 2 solid months of audio, cg, added 70 cg shots, etc etc...so we have little time for Judgement Day and Wolvesbayne, but b/c everyone hates Jones and loves Griff and Wolvesbayne looks better, they are just excited to work on it and they leave it in the dust...or so that's how it feels. I mean I could left Judgment Day as is...I could've shown the world what Justin Jones really shot an how horrible he was, but I didn't. I sucked it up and made it the best I could and hacked it apart and wrote new scenes and asked for reshoots and I know i'll never get a credit in the world for it, but ppl will just think jones did a good job, but i did it b/c I want all of these films to be good. I'm tired of doing projects I'm not proud of...i'm so tired of it. I just feel like I can't make everyone feel that way, ya know? And I swear to god if the audio on this film sounds anything like the asylum shit, I'm gonna freak the fuck out and walk away. We don't even have a composer yet, and that really makes me nervous, seeing as how delivery is in 2 weeks and this movie is very reliant on music...i just dont want another Apocalypse. I'm just as excited about Wolvesbayne as the next one...seriously it's awesome, but we have a work flow and I hate favoritism. Oh well...i know I'm alone in this fight.
I'm trying to make some serious changes right now and get my life organized. I've started financially...for once and got my credit score and all that good stuff...i'm not too bad actually ;) Next I want to do the healthy detox workout thing...then something gay like writing down my goals and such. I really wish I had all the money in the world for a trainer/nutritionist/chef...i'd be rock solid haha eh what are ya gonna do?
I've noticed myself distancing from Nicodemus and Pepe, b/c I know they have tumors and it's gonna tear me apart when they die...kinda stupid to be so attached to rats knowing they only live 2 years, but they were so cute.
I really wish I could fall asleep right now. fuck.
Well in good news, I got my car back today!!! 2 months after the flood, it's all mine and I can hear the ringing in my head of George Michael "Freedom, Freedom, Freeeeedooooom!" I absolutely hate being dependent on other people...i hate asking for rides...so no joke I haven't asked for a ride to anywhere but 2 and from work/downtown...except to the airport but I filled up his tank...i havent been grocery shopping in forever it seems.
Robby wrote me a beautiful poem:
The Green Dress
A dress watching dresses
with sway and rhythm
A heart watching hearts
of men with women
A lust yearning eyes
to converge on desire
A burn yearning smiles
to stop and admire
The green in her dress sparks her eyes to alight the room
The nervous curl of her toes in her brown strappy shoes
She sits still soothing moisture that came conjured
From the proceeding procession of fair weded lovers.
In every glance, possibility
In every breath, anticipation
Emersed in this moment
she searches the stars for a sign
with her highest hopes in the heavens
her heart is still confined
in that single box of sweet red wine.
who knew he was such a good writer?
I wanna wake up early to start being healthy and work out and maybe detox...i feel like when i wake up so late, I just need to hurry into work, even though I work till 4ish am...why is it so hard to eat healthy and work out? I swear to god I can motivate anyone in the world but myself. I have no will power it seems.
I watched our 3 film today, since I hadn't edited that one...and I gotta say it looks amazing. Kinda made me smile a bit.
I see potential in Judgment Day, especially as I go through these reshoots I asked for...it just sucks that everyone kinda checked out on the film b/c they hate Jones. To me, all of these films should be given equal treatment, but there is a clear hierarchy of favoritism that pisses me off to no end. Dunwich gets like 2 solid months of audio, cg, added 70 cg shots, etc etc...so we have little time for Judgement Day and Wolvesbayne, but b/c everyone hates Jones and loves Griff and Wolvesbayne looks better, they are just excited to work on it and they leave it in the dust...or so that's how it feels. I mean I could left Judgment Day as is...I could've shown the world what Justin Jones really shot an how horrible he was, but I didn't. I sucked it up and made it the best I could and hacked it apart and wrote new scenes and asked for reshoots and I know i'll never get a credit in the world for it, but ppl will just think jones did a good job, but i did it b/c I want all of these films to be good. I'm tired of doing projects I'm not proud of...i'm so tired of it. I just feel like I can't make everyone feel that way, ya know? And I swear to god if the audio on this film sounds anything like the asylum shit, I'm gonna freak the fuck out and walk away. We don't even have a composer yet, and that really makes me nervous, seeing as how delivery is in 2 weeks and this movie is very reliant on music...i just dont want another Apocalypse. I'm just as excited about Wolvesbayne as the next one...seriously it's awesome, but we have a work flow and I hate favoritism. Oh well...i know I'm alone in this fight.
I'm trying to make some serious changes right now and get my life organized. I've started financially...for once and got my credit score and all that good stuff...i'm not too bad actually ;) Next I want to do the healthy detox workout thing...then something gay like writing down my goals and such. I really wish I had all the money in the world for a trainer/nutritionist/chef...i'd be rock solid haha eh what are ya gonna do?
I've noticed myself distancing from Nicodemus and Pepe, b/c I know they have tumors and it's gonna tear me apart when they die...kinda stupid to be so attached to rats knowing they only live 2 years, but they were so cute.
I really wish I could fall asleep right now. fuck.
Well in good news, I got my car back today!!! 2 months after the flood, it's all mine and I can hear the ringing in my head of George Michael "Freedom, Freedom, Freeeeedooooom!" I absolutely hate being dependent on other people...i hate asking for rides...so no joke I haven't asked for a ride to anywhere but 2 and from work/downtown...except to the airport but I filled up his tank...i havent been grocery shopping in forever it seems.
Robby wrote me a beautiful poem:
The Green Dress
A dress watching dresses
with sway and rhythm
A heart watching hearts
of men with women
A lust yearning eyes
to converge on desire
A burn yearning smiles
to stop and admire
The green in her dress sparks her eyes to alight the room
The nervous curl of her toes in her brown strappy shoes
She sits still soothing moisture that came conjured
From the proceeding procession of fair weded lovers.
In every glance, possibility
In every breath, anticipation
Emersed in this moment
she searches the stars for a sign
with her highest hopes in the heavens
her heart is still confined
in that single box of sweet red wine.
who knew he was such a good writer?