I just woke up from a 6? give or take hour nap, even though I had a full night of sleep.
I really feel like I've been over-working myself. In every sense. Mentally, physically, spiritually? It's come to result in a bunch of just, i.m.o., sloppy work.
I got employee of the month last month, which gives me over $50 in straight up cash and free stuff. I don't feel I deserved it even a little bit, because work is the place where I relieve my mind by sitting and watching movies for hours. Even with that, though, I'm more of a motivated worker than most people I work with, which is the sad thing. This upsets me for two reasons: one, they like me too much when I don't even like my job. Two: most people are overtly lazy.
I haven't done stand up in a few weeks because I know I'm too exhausted on Sunday nights to do it. The last time I tried to do stand up exhausted I didn't remember half of my jokes and practically made a fool of myself (I pulled off making them laugh and made a joke of the fact I didn't remember anything, which was a life-saver, but otherwise the set was too short). Sunday is usually my only day to regenerate my body. This is a bit of a problem. Not because of not being able to do stand up, but because I really don't want to go out or do anything most nights because I'm exhausted.
In school is the only place I do things properly. I learn a lot and get tons done, and really expand my mind on all of this stuff. But it's not that I'm well rested during these things, either. I suppress it one way or another with my desire to learn, and that hasn't stopped me from falling asleep quite a few times in some classes where I really wish I didn't. Funnily enough, though, this is the main problem. On average I spend over 20 hours a week in school. I'm registered for 18 credit hours, as well (which is obnoxious).
Lastly, and most importantly, this has had an effect on my relationships with people. Being busy all the time and tired all the rest of the time, I almost never want to go out and see people and/or do things. When I get home all I want to do is play video games to wind down, and that even has an affect on my relationship with two of my favorite people, my roommates. I'm really not liking myself at the moment because of all of this.
Not to mention I'm having a hard time differentiating what's funny to me, and what's funny to other people. My jokes have become cold and dark and just come off as some asshole trying to annoy people. This is not the real me, this is the exhausted, personally annoyed, trying-to-make-up-for-it me by saying the first things that come to mind, and I end up just pissing people off a lot. I don't want to do this anymore, and start being more conscious of everyone around me.
Somethings gotta give. Either something in me, or something in the outside world. Maybe I'll just start going to bed at 10pm, that'll work fine. But who can do that? Also, I need to be less of a douchebag, manage my time better, etc. etc. Lots of things.
I got employee of the month last month, which gives me over $50 in straight up cash and free stuff. I don't feel I deserved it even a little bit, because work is the place where I relieve my mind by sitting and watching movies for hours. Even with that, though, I'm more of a motivated worker than most people I work with, which is the sad thing. This upsets me for two reasons: one, they like me too much when I don't even like my job. Two: most people are overtly lazy.
I haven't done stand up in a few weeks because I know I'm too exhausted on Sunday nights to do it. The last time I tried to do stand up exhausted I didn't remember half of my jokes and practically made a fool of myself (I pulled off making them laugh and made a joke of the fact I didn't remember anything, which was a life-saver, but otherwise the set was too short). Sunday is usually my only day to regenerate my body. This is a bit of a problem. Not because of not being able to do stand up, but because I really don't want to go out or do anything most nights because I'm exhausted.
In school is the only place I do things properly. I learn a lot and get tons done, and really expand my mind on all of this stuff. But it's not that I'm well rested during these things, either. I suppress it one way or another with my desire to learn, and that hasn't stopped me from falling asleep quite a few times in some classes where I really wish I didn't. Funnily enough, though, this is the main problem. On average I spend over 20 hours a week in school. I'm registered for 18 credit hours, as well (which is obnoxious).
Lastly, and most importantly, this has had an effect on my relationships with people. Being busy all the time and tired all the rest of the time, I almost never want to go out and see people and/or do things. When I get home all I want to do is play video games to wind down, and that even has an affect on my relationship with two of my favorite people, my roommates. I'm really not liking myself at the moment because of all of this.
Not to mention I'm having a hard time differentiating what's funny to me, and what's funny to other people. My jokes have become cold and dark and just come off as some asshole trying to annoy people. This is not the real me, this is the exhausted, personally annoyed, trying-to-make-up-for-it me by saying the first things that come to mind, and I end up just pissing people off a lot. I don't want to do this anymore, and start being more conscious of everyone around me.
Somethings gotta give. Either something in me, or something in the outside world. Maybe I'll just start going to bed at 10pm, that'll work fine. But who can do that? Also, I need to be less of a douchebag, manage my time better, etc. etc. Lots of things.