Maybe if I just, maybe if I could, maybe just maybe.....
This past week, despite all kinds of trials and tribulations, I took Z to go and meet my parents in Toronto. First it was to my mother sister and kin and then to my father who lives in Kitchener. Surprisingly, although not totally, we had a great time. There are times, when you need someone...
Well, he was by my side.
And the light that shines.
Special for me.
And you.
My father is very sick. Not mentally, but physically and I am scared shitless out my mind. I dont know what to do and yet there are so many things to do. My father told me that he was the luckiest man alive to have me. But that I would also be the death of him. That didnt feel too good, hearing that come from his mouth. I dont want to be the death of my father!!! But now, Dear lord, I just dont know what to do. It was good, now its horrible and I am filled with a lifetime of regrets, not knowing, not knowing... I need something to say, okay, this is what needs to be done, and your father shall be perfect there and he shall not be not perfect. That is what I need. desperately. The last thing I want to do is put my father someplace and have him just putrify. I would wish him back home. I would wish to win the lottery. Maybe I must begin playing the lottery before thinking of winning!! I shall try my luck today, maybe something will come to play!
In my daydream i win the lottery and spend the money so that my father can go home and that he can have a nurse in there to look after him all day and all night. That is what I dream of. Maybe the Lord will hear that and accord me just the right chances to win just the amount needed. Or not. I dont know. Thats what Im asking for. The bank said I could take out a loan. So what does that mean. hmmm. Or if I move home. And then dad is there and then there is a nurse too. Then we can work around my schedule and Ill be there right. and the nurse can be on call. There must be someone I can talk to. So I talk to you dear lord.
I talk to You.
Well, he was by my side.
And the light that shines.
Special for me.
And you.
My father is very sick. Not mentally, but physically and I am scared shitless out my mind. I dont know what to do and yet there are so many things to do. My father told me that he was the luckiest man alive to have me. But that I would also be the death of him. That didnt feel too good, hearing that come from his mouth. I dont want to be the death of my father!!! But now, Dear lord, I just dont know what to do. It was good, now its horrible and I am filled with a lifetime of regrets, not knowing, not knowing... I need something to say, okay, this is what needs to be done, and your father shall be perfect there and he shall not be not perfect. That is what I need. desperately. The last thing I want to do is put my father someplace and have him just putrify. I would wish him back home. I would wish to win the lottery. Maybe I must begin playing the lottery before thinking of winning!! I shall try my luck today, maybe something will come to play!
In my daydream i win the lottery and spend the money so that my father can go home and that he can have a nurse in there to look after him all day and all night. That is what I dream of. Maybe the Lord will hear that and accord me just the right chances to win just the amount needed. Or not. I dont know. Thats what Im asking for. The bank said I could take out a loan. So what does that mean. hmmm. Or if I move home. And then dad is there and then there is a nurse too. Then we can work around my schedule and Ill be there right. and the nurse can be on call. There must be someone I can talk to. So I talk to you dear lord.
I talk to You.