Harmony: -5 Stars
Well, I finally got around to watching "Harmony". For all the hyp? I found it pretty... well... lame.
When I first heard the episode summary, I was thinking, "Oh god, that sounds worse than 'The Seer'." John and Rodney escort a 13-year-old girl to become queen? People, if that was a fanfic, I wouldn't read it. In fact, I would be seriously tempted to mock it, by it's summary alone.
Because Harmony? Really sucked. And the plot? Give me a break. That was COMPLETELY unrealistic. Just, god, I was watching the episode thinking, "This is not for real. Not. Happening.” One sister (Mardola) decides to kill another (Harmony) - by hiring the Genii? HELLO? And then tells them to kill John and Rodney too? There's so many things wrong with this, I think I'll have to make a list:
1. If Mardola wanted her sister dead, she could have found a more discrete way. There is no way a group of soldiers THAT BIG is needed to kill a little girl. It's idiotic, stupid, and not to mention, complete overkill. Why not poison her? Or send an assassin? But an entire contingent of soldiers? Uh-uh. I don't think so. Mardola can't have been so unintelligent as to think that nobody would notice the dozen-plus soldiers running around on her planet. Especially soldiers from their enemy.
2. Which leads me to point two. WHY would she hire Genii soldiers? More importantly, why would Laden agree to it? I don't buy for a second Sheppard's rationalization - “I don't know how these people [the Genii] work. Maybe he [Laden] told someone to fix the problem and this is what they came up with.”
Translation: The writers were too lazy and unimaginative to come up with a real enemy to work with, so they pulled out their old standby the Genii, even though Laden is supposedly an ally of Atlantis and, from what I've seen, not such a bad guy. But again, the writers can't think of squat, so they just throw in the Genii and make Sheppard say: “Knowing why they're here really doesn't help us out.” Which made me laugh aloud, because I've seen people use this in fanfics when they're trying to divert attention from their sadly hole-riddled plot. (Hell, I've used it. But I expect better from canon.)
3. No, wait, I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. Mardola actually tells the Genii to kill Sheppard and Rodney. HA. She may be blond, but there's no way she's that stupid. Did it not occur to her that if John and Rodney die, the whole of Atlantis is going to be swarming her pathetic planet to find out why, when, and how? If the Lanteans have been allies with her people for years, then she knows that they have advanced technology (not to mention dangerous weapons). And eventually, the Lanteans would have figured out what happened. And at that point, Mardola would be dead. I refuse to believe that Mardola is so mentally challenged that she didn't see this gaping flaw in her plan. NO ONE is that stupid.
There's probably more, but I want to move on to the other thing that annoyed me tremendously: namely, Harmony, a.k.a the Mary Sue that Drove Alter Ego Insane. So insane that Alter Ego has started speaking in third person. Yeah.
Now, I have a few friends who argue that Harmony wasn't a Mary Sue because she wasn't a nice goody-goo. What you have to keep in mind is that Mary Sues actually come in many different forms, each as poisonous and deadly as the last. Permit me to elaborate:
1. The Classic Mary Sue: Known for her good looks, sweet nature and high IQ, the Classic Mary Sue is probably the most commonly used Mary Sue; she possesses a great many positive qualities, such as wisdom, strength, kindness, uncommon fighting skills, and extreme intelligence. She is sometimes in her early twenties, but is more commonly a teenager who (despite her young age) has men - especially Rodney and Sheppard - falling over her in lovesick and slightly disturbing ways. She is usually an orphan with a tragic past, and never fails to impress the entire Atlantis expedition with her amazingness.
2. The Xena Mary Sue: As the name suggests, the Xena Mary Sue is your typical tough-girl warrior-queen-goddess. However, because of her Mary-Sue status, she is also very smart, and besides being able to whoop both Ronon's and John's ass at any fighting method you care to name, can also rival Rodney in intelligence. You go girl!
3. The Know-It-All Mary Sue: My personal favorite, the Know-It-All Mary Sue has a rather negative attitude, which allows the writer to live comfortably in the delusion that their OC is not a Mary Sue, despite the fact that she knows everything and impresses everyone with her vast knowledge and expertise on virtually every subject known to mankind. (That, and she has the men of Atlantis eating out of the palm of her hand.) The Know-It-All Mary Sue may be bratty slightly mean, smart-assed witty, selfish somewhat self-absorbed, and emo a bit on the dramatic side. But in the end, she does what's right and saves all of Atlantis, numerous times.
Now, Harmony obviously falls in the third category. If you couldn't tell, that's the one I can't stand. (Well, I can't stand any of them, but she's the worst). Harmony exhibits all the typical signs of a Know-It-All Mary Sue: she's a “quick learner”, managed to survive on her own in a forest full of Genii soldiers at night for several hours, and had smart-ass retorts for everything Rodney said. She drove me crazy, and contributed greatly to my dislike of the episode.
Finally, there was the interaction between John and Rodney. I was not impressed. It was not particularly amusing, inventive or good. It was okay, I guess. But not great.
There was really only one redeeming thing about the episode: Harmony's “crush” on John and how it turned on him in the end. That, I found amusing. Because John, you so deserved it. :D
In conclusion: the plot was sadly lacking, the guest character was a Mary-Sue, the famous John/Rodney banter was unimaginative and lackluster, and the episode on the whole just rubbed me the wrong way. I think my expression watching it was something like this: o_O Never have I disliked a SGA episode so much, and it's taken me by surprise. I know a lot of people disliked episodes such as "Irresistible", "Tower" and "Travelers", but I actually didn't mind/sorta liked those episodes. This one - just, no.
When I first heard the episode summary, I was thinking, "Oh god, that sounds worse than 'The Seer'." John and Rodney escort a 13-year-old girl to become queen? People, if that was a fanfic, I wouldn't read it. In fact, I would be seriously tempted to mock it, by it's summary alone.
Because Harmony? Really sucked. And the plot? Give me a break. That was COMPLETELY unrealistic. Just, god, I was watching the episode thinking, "This is not for real. Not. Happening.” One sister (Mardola) decides to kill another (Harmony) - by hiring the Genii? HELLO? And then tells them to kill John and Rodney too? There's so many things wrong with this, I think I'll have to make a list:
1. If Mardola wanted her sister dead, she could have found a more discrete way. There is no way a group of soldiers THAT BIG is needed to kill a little girl. It's idiotic, stupid, and not to mention, complete overkill. Why not poison her? Or send an assassin? But an entire contingent of soldiers? Uh-uh. I don't think so. Mardola can't have been so unintelligent as to think that nobody would notice the dozen-plus soldiers running around on her planet. Especially soldiers from their enemy.
2. Which leads me to point two. WHY would she hire Genii soldiers? More importantly, why would Laden agree to it? I don't buy for a second Sheppard's rationalization - “I don't know how these people [the Genii] work. Maybe he [Laden] told someone to fix the problem and this is what they came up with.”
Translation: The writers were too lazy and unimaginative to come up with a real enemy to work with, so they pulled out their old standby the Genii, even though Laden is supposedly an ally of Atlantis and, from what I've seen, not such a bad guy. But again, the writers can't think of squat, so they just throw in the Genii and make Sheppard say: “Knowing why they're here really doesn't help us out.” Which made me laugh aloud, because I've seen people use this in fanfics when they're trying to divert attention from their sadly hole-riddled plot. (Hell, I've used it. But I expect better from canon.)
3. No, wait, I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. Mardola actually tells the Genii to kill Sheppard and Rodney. HA. She may be blond, but there's no way she's that stupid. Did it not occur to her that if John and Rodney die, the whole of Atlantis is going to be swarming her pathetic planet to find out why, when, and how? If the Lanteans have been allies with her people for years, then she knows that they have advanced technology (not to mention dangerous weapons). And eventually, the Lanteans would have figured out what happened. And at that point, Mardola would be dead. I refuse to believe that Mardola is so mentally challenged that she didn't see this gaping flaw in her plan. NO ONE is that stupid.
There's probably more, but I want to move on to the other thing that annoyed me tremendously: namely, Harmony, a.k.a the Mary Sue that Drove Alter Ego Insane. So insane that Alter Ego has started speaking in third person. Yeah.
Now, I have a few friends who argue that Harmony wasn't a Mary Sue because she wasn't a nice goody-goo. What you have to keep in mind is that Mary Sues actually come in many different forms, each as poisonous and deadly as the last. Permit me to elaborate:
1. The Classic Mary Sue: Known for her good looks, sweet nature and high IQ, the Classic Mary Sue is probably the most commonly used Mary Sue; she possesses a great many positive qualities, such as wisdom, strength, kindness, uncommon fighting skills, and extreme intelligence. She is sometimes in her early twenties, but is more commonly a teenager who (despite her young age) has men - especially Rodney and Sheppard - falling over her in lovesick and slightly disturbing ways. She is usually an orphan with a tragic past, and never fails to impress the entire Atlantis expedition with her amazingness.
2. The Xena Mary Sue: As the name suggests, the Xena Mary Sue is your typical tough-girl warrior-queen-goddess. However, because of her Mary-Sue status, she is also very smart, and besides being able to whoop both Ronon's and John's ass at any fighting method you care to name, can also rival Rodney in intelligence. You go girl!
3. The Know-It-All Mary Sue: My personal favorite, the Know-It-All Mary Sue has a rather negative attitude, which allows the writer to live comfortably in the delusion that their OC is not a Mary Sue, despite the fact that she knows everything and impresses everyone with her vast knowledge and expertise on virtually every subject known to mankind. (That, and she has the men of Atlantis eating out of the palm of her hand.) The Know-It-All Mary Sue may be bratty slightly mean, smart-assed witty, selfish somewhat self-absorbed, and emo a bit on the dramatic side. But in the end, she does what's right and saves all of Atlantis, numerous times.
Now, Harmony obviously falls in the third category. If you couldn't tell, that's the one I can't stand. (Well, I can't stand any of them, but she's the worst). Harmony exhibits all the typical signs of a Know-It-All Mary Sue: she's a “quick learner”, managed to survive on her own in a forest full of Genii soldiers at night for several hours, and had smart-ass retorts for everything Rodney said. She drove me crazy, and contributed greatly to my dislike of the episode.
Finally, there was the interaction between John and Rodney. I was not impressed. It was not particularly amusing, inventive or good. It was okay, I guess. But not great.
There was really only one redeeming thing about the episode: Harmony's “crush” on John and how it turned on him in the end. That, I found amusing. Because John, you so deserved it. :D
In conclusion: the plot was sadly lacking, the guest character was a Mary-Sue, the famous John/Rodney banter was unimaginative and lackluster, and the episode on the whole just rubbed me the wrong way. I think my expression watching it was something like this: o_O Never have I disliked a SGA episode so much, and it's taken me by surprise. I know a lot of people disliked episodes such as "Irresistible", "Tower" and "Travelers", but I actually didn't mind/sorta liked those episodes. This one - just, no.