(no subject)
I want to post, but I'm sort of at a loss for words today....
Haliburton offered Chase a job....in Utah....He's waiting to hear back from Newmont for a job....in Nevada....
the Denver law enforcement agency didn't think he was qualified enough and is going to look at other candidates instead.
So it's pretty certain that he'll be in at least Utah if not Nevada. I don't know how to deal with that. I love him, god I love him but it's not like me being in Illinois for the summer. It's him getting a job almost 3 states away. You can't just pack up and leave your job for weeks at a time much less months. you can't work for a year and then quit for another job; that looks bad on resumes. I thought about transferring somewhere farther west but I just can't do that. not because I don't want to, I really would consider following him but it's just not feasible. I love him enough to really work at the distance thing but it's going to be 2 and a half years minimum before I can leave Golden. I don't know how long I can handle it. If he asked me to marry him this week I'd seriously consider saying yes. but I can't when he's going to be so far away.
When I took him to the airport for his interview with Newmont on Sunday, I cried all the way back to school. I just couldn't shake the fact that he was coming back this time....and after that no guarantees...
He's everything to me. When my mom upsets me, he's there. When I'm ready to just give up and transfer, he's there. When I break down and cry about my classes, he's there. I have no doubt that he loves me. I have no doubt that when he makes offhand comments about my ring, or "making an honest woman out of me", or having lots of babies he means it even when it's joking. nor do I doubt how much I love him. None of those comments bother me. I can see us together, I can see us with a family. I just can't see how to get there under the current circumstances. I guess all I can do is wait and try and see what happens.
But then how do I stop the pain?....
Haliburton offered Chase a job....in Utah....He's waiting to hear back from Newmont for a job....in Nevada....
the Denver law enforcement agency didn't think he was qualified enough and is going to look at other candidates instead.
So it's pretty certain that he'll be in at least Utah if not Nevada. I don't know how to deal with that. I love him, god I love him but it's not like me being in Illinois for the summer. It's him getting a job almost 3 states away. You can't just pack up and leave your job for weeks at a time much less months. you can't work for a year and then quit for another job; that looks bad on resumes. I thought about transferring somewhere farther west but I just can't do that. not because I don't want to, I really would consider following him but it's just not feasible. I love him enough to really work at the distance thing but it's going to be 2 and a half years minimum before I can leave Golden. I don't know how long I can handle it. If he asked me to marry him this week I'd seriously consider saying yes. but I can't when he's going to be so far away.
When I took him to the airport for his interview with Newmont on Sunday, I cried all the way back to school. I just couldn't shake the fact that he was coming back this time....and after that no guarantees...
He's everything to me. When my mom upsets me, he's there. When I'm ready to just give up and transfer, he's there. When I break down and cry about my classes, he's there. I have no doubt that he loves me. I have no doubt that when he makes offhand comments about my ring, or "making an honest woman out of me", or having lots of babies he means it even when it's joking. nor do I doubt how much I love him. None of those comments bother me. I can see us together, I can see us with a family. I just can't see how to get there under the current circumstances. I guess all I can do is wait and try and see what happens.
But then how do I stop the pain?....