(no subject)
I came to a realization. I know what my problem is. well... one of my problems at least. I have too much time on my hands. I have nothing to do, nothing to focus on, nothing to distract me. sure, I have my classes, but they are bullshit and I'm almost done with them. I think too much. I say the wrong things. I make things more complicated. I'm kicking myself in the ass for the way things are unfolding.
I didnt feel very good about myself today. there are some things I wish I could take back. I dont know where to go from here. it was so frustrating I cried. I don't know what to do with my emotions right now. I am so filled with emotions that they are about to spill over. I need a good friend, someone I can trust. someone who will listen. someone who will understand. I need someone without complications. I guess my trusty journal will have to do for now.
I didn't know what to do with myself tonight so I went grocery shopping. I walked up and down every single aisle and got everything I wanted. I splurged. I got tapioca pudding, cheese cubes, corn muffins (and lots more). mmmm comfort food. I passed by the gym on my way home. I REALLY felt like going and working out hard. I wanted to run, push myself, lift weights, stretch, sweat, feel pain. it's a good pain. I miss it. I was going to go for a run when I got home, but then my brother came over, and I made a sandwich, and then I didn't feel like running.
a few days ago I felt pretty good. I had a good outlook, a good attitude, everything was going to be fine, things would work themselves out. now... it's getting harder and harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow.
I didnt feel very good about myself today. there are some things I wish I could take back. I dont know where to go from here. it was so frustrating I cried. I don't know what to do with my emotions right now. I am so filled with emotions that they are about to spill over. I need a good friend, someone I can trust. someone who will listen. someone who will understand. I need someone without complications. I guess my trusty journal will have to do for now.
I didn't know what to do with myself tonight so I went grocery shopping. I walked up and down every single aisle and got everything I wanted. I splurged. I got tapioca pudding, cheese cubes, corn muffins (and lots more). mmmm comfort food. I passed by the gym on my way home. I REALLY felt like going and working out hard. I wanted to run, push myself, lift weights, stretch, sweat, feel pain. it's a good pain. I miss it. I was going to go for a run when I got home, but then my brother came over, and I made a sandwich, and then I didn't feel like running.
a few days ago I felt pretty good. I had a good outlook, a good attitude, everything was going to be fine, things would work themselves out. now... it's getting harder and harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Walk away in emptiness, walk away in sorrow,
Walk away from yesterday, walk away tomorrow.