Entropy Tensions
I feel inexplicably sad right now. And a bit anxious, even though, once again, it is unwarranted. Perhaps I’m just tired. I haven’t slept as much the past two nights as I’ve become accustomed to.
I’ve been beginning to slide into old habits these past few days. I’ve been letting myself get more stressed than circumstances called for. I’ve been spending money on frivolous things (although not nearly as much as I was last semester). I haven’t been letting myself get as much sleep as I’ve needed. In short, I’ve been letting things get a little bit out of my control. It is really nothing to be concerned about at this point. But after going so far over the edge last semester, even approaching the edge is a bit worrisome right now. I recognize that it is for me hard to remain balanced. I am making a supreme effort to remain there for as long as possible, but I am only human and little stumbles along the way are inevitable.
But, other than minor slips, things are going well. I am looking forward to the upcoming week, mainly because it will probably not be as eventful as this week was. I find myself relishing my “in-between” moments, when all I have to do is focus on classes and my job. I enjoy the serenity that comes from those moments.
Writing in this journal always calms me. It’s been a while since I’ve regularly written in a journal, but recently I’ve been updating this journal on an almost daily basis. It helps me sort things out. Yoga, meditating, journal writing…they all just help me keep my life clean. They help me let my mind go and sort things out on its own. I don’t know how they do it, but they do. And, really, that’s all that matters.
I think that this will be the semester when I finally develop faith.
I’ve been beginning to slide into old habits these past few days. I’ve been letting myself get more stressed than circumstances called for. I’ve been spending money on frivolous things (although not nearly as much as I was last semester). I haven’t been letting myself get as much sleep as I’ve needed. In short, I’ve been letting things get a little bit out of my control. It is really nothing to be concerned about at this point. But after going so far over the edge last semester, even approaching the edge is a bit worrisome right now. I recognize that it is for me hard to remain balanced. I am making a supreme effort to remain there for as long as possible, but I am only human and little stumbles along the way are inevitable.
But, other than minor slips, things are going well. I am looking forward to the upcoming week, mainly because it will probably not be as eventful as this week was. I find myself relishing my “in-between” moments, when all I have to do is focus on classes and my job. I enjoy the serenity that comes from those moments.
Writing in this journal always calms me. It’s been a while since I’ve regularly written in a journal, but recently I’ve been updating this journal on an almost daily basis. It helps me sort things out. Yoga, meditating, journal writing…they all just help me keep my life clean. They help me let my mind go and sort things out on its own. I don’t know how they do it, but they do. And, really, that’s all that matters.
I think that this will be the semester when I finally develop faith.