welcome to my nightmare

Jan 03, 2006 00:51

it's like i have to divorce my family twice a year. and just now i remembered a few things i was supposed to do over the holiday for school like watch the news and think of holiday stories to sign on wednesday at school. my program is the worst. they don't even think of me as a fellow human being. they think i am a machine that they can work non stop and fucking shit on constantly and never encourage. i hate it and i hate them.
my eyes are puffy and sore. i don't think i will ever get used to this. words are not explaining it nearly enough. it makes me sick.
my whole body hurts because it kills me emotionally to do this to the point where i can't care about anything or anyone else. nothing makes me feel better and nothing anyone says is comforting.
i am dresding the ride to the airport with my dad. i will cry the whole way and then feel guilty about it because i don't want to make him sad.
last year i threw up in the airport and on the airplane because i was so upset about returning after christmas.
this isn't helping either and my forehead hurts.
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