Code Monkey have boring meeting; boring manager Rob.
You know what my problem is? I think things. A lot of things. A lot of strange, improbable, weird things. And then I want fic written about them, but really? My brain is a terrifying place and I'm not entirely sure I should unleash the ridiculousness hidden therein unto the world.
However. I have urges, ok? And so, I feel appropriately ashamed about this, but now, for your amusement:
A Not-So-Comprehensive List of General Nonsensitude that I Fervently Hope Will Never Actually be Written by Me:
(1)
So, does anyone out there watch Bones? The Fox primetime show? Well, Bones! Bones Crossovers! With Dr. Brennan and Spock bonding over science and rationality! And both Booth and Kirk getting jealous! And also, this:
"Bones! Bones, Bones, Bones, you won't believe this," the Captain says, gesturing towards the humanoids as the Doctor is beamed into the lab. The Captain is grinning widely; Spock has never quite understood why humans would call it grinning...."from ear to ear" he believes is the correct colloquialism. However, Spock will concede to the fact that his Captain is grinning so widely that he wonders for a moment if it is perhaps causing the Captain harm. "Bones, meet Bones," the Captain continues, eyes shining with mirth. He gestures to the woman.
"Captain," Spock says neutrally.
"Ok, fine," Kirk pouts. "Not-that-kind-of-Doctor, Doctor Temperance Brennan, this is Totally-is-that-kind-of-Doctor, Doctor Leonard McCoy."
McCoy nods his head once in greeting. The woman's head tilts slightly to the side.
"That is really fascinating," she says, looking between the three of them. "How did you manage to successfully transport three humanoids effectively? The last paper I read dealt with instantaneous subatomic transport, but I assumed we were years away from moving on to anything more complex than even single-celled organisms."
Spock thinks he may have found a woman with whom he can at last have a proper discourse.
"Bones," the man says; from what Spock has gathered, he must be Special Agent Seeley Booth. "Don't bore these guys with the squint-talk."
"On the contrary Agent Booth," Spock answers, clasping his hands firmly behind his back. "I am quite interested in your planet's current transporting capabilities. If we are not otherwise previously engaged, perhaps it would be agreeable for Dr. Brennan and myself to speak on it in greater length at some other specified time?"
Beside him, Kirk scowls. The agent frowns for a second before his eyebrows shoot up suddenly.
"It would be a pleasure, Commander," Dr. Temperance Brennan says.
Spock allows himself to be satisfied.
(2)
Futurama inspired plotlines!!! Because seriously? Futurama is MADE OF AWESOME.
Right now, Jim's got a lot of people he wants to blame. He wants to blame Pike, for daring him to be better, Starfleet for sending him on this stupid mission in the first place (Space Bees. Really Starfleet? They couldn't just say "Let's just beg a whole lot of crazy shit to happen to the Enterprise, because what else could the universe throw at them?"), but mostly, he wants to blame Spock. Spock, who threw himself directly into the path of a deadly, deadly baby-queen bee's stinger to protect his Captain.
But Spock is dead, and he can't blame him. It's all Jim's fault anyway.
He shuts his eyes and wills back the pain because it feels like it's been years already (really, it's been less than two weeks) since that horrible, ugly funeral, where Jim hadn't let himself cry and even Bones wasn't in the mood for his suicidal depression.
And yeah, he gets that he's probably gone insane. Spock's been haunting his dreams, and fuck, he's even had to temporarily relieve himself of duty because of emotional goddamn compromise. He just; he knows he's gonna wake up from one of those dreams again, and nothing is going to be able to convince him that Spock isn't actually communicating to him through his mind, and then he'll drive his baby to the ends of the entire fucking universe looking for Spock. He'll waste his life, and the lives of his crew, looking, looking because if Spock's talking to him through his dreams, that means he has to be alive. And nothing will ever keep him from his First Officer.
But Spock is dead. He died protecting Jim from stupid Space Bees and Jim'll never get to tell him that he loves the stupid bastard because he's dead and it's all Jim's fault--
"Jim," a smooth voice says sternly from his bedside table.
Jim closes his eyes and clenches his jaw; he doesn't remember falling asleep this time, and he'd been about to hypo himself into a permanent coma, so this is what he wants anyway, to be asleep so his first officer can whisk him away to iceball planets and waltz with him across Deneb IV again. But he's probably just hallucinating, imagining it, because the Spock holo by his cramped bed turns its dark eyes to him.
"Listen to me," the Spock-holo implores. "You must awaken immediately. I cannot go on without you."
"You don't get to say that to me," Jim says, tears muddying his eyesight. "You do not get to say that to me Spock. You died."
"I have not perished Jim," the Spock-holo says. It blinks, and looks down slightly. "Please," it says. "Wake up,"
"I don't understand," Jim says a little desperately. The Spock-holo wavers slightly, and Jim panics. "Fuck Spock, Spock. I--Fuck I love you. Please, don't be dead Spock. You can't be dead."
"Wake up, Jim."
And suddenly, Jim's eyes open, and instead of being in his bed on the Enterprise, he's in someone's medbay, hooked up to machines and wires and tubes, and Spock's there, real and alive, holding his hand so tightly it hurts. His other hand relaxes from where Spock's pressed it against his face, cups Jim's cheek softly.
"Jim," Spock breathes. "You woke up."
"Well yeah," Jim says through the catch in his throat. Spock is here with him again, and fuck, Jim knew he hadn't died. "You wouldn't stop waking me."
And that's when Bones and the whole damn bridge crew burst into the room, talking about allergic reactions to poisons and comas, and Bones is checking his readings with a scowl that's less angry and more desperately relieved, so Jim figures he maybe isn't going crazy after all. Spock reluctantly shows him the tiny scar that the skin-regenerator couldn't quite fix, the one he got when the stupid Space Bee's stinger sliced right through his stomach and injected Jim with 99 percent of its toxic venom.
Jim smiles, not giving one flying fuck about any of it. Spock is alive.
"Spock, I--"
"I know, Jim."
And that's right around when Spock kisses him.
(3)
MOAR FUTURAMA. Except this one doesn't get a mini-fic because I only saw the end of the episode right now and was like "Shit! That is exactly how I will get Kirk and Spock out of that parallel universe I stuck them into in my current WIP! "
But then I had to change my mind. Because they used popcorn, a microwave and some sort of gadget the Professor just had lying around on his star ship to create that portal back into the future. And my fic is not really crack. So: I don't think so. ninjaboots ? If you get a draft of my wip and it mentions microwaves and popcorn, I won't be offended if you just delete the damn thing :)
(2)
And then, there was South Park (yes I am a South Park fan. Sue me, ok?). Oh God, did anyone catch the new episode tonight? I won't spoil it, except for the CHARACTER DEATH D: D: D: [and it wasn't even kenny!!] so, of course, I thought of this:
Damian sat on a blackened rock just outside the castle, his lips pursed and hands clasped. Pip stood just before him, looking down at the floor with a bemused smile on his face.
"So," Damian said. "You're dead."
"Yes it would appear so," Pip answered.
Damian raised an eyebrow.
"And why aren't you in heaven?"
Pip grinned. He sat down beside Damian and looked down at his shoes. Damian kind of wanted to kiss him.
"You should know," he said quietly, too quietly to be joking. He turned back to Damian, and his eyes were very blue in their sincerity. "You should know why."
Damian grinned wickedly (the only way he knew how to smile) and nudged Pip with his shoulder.
"Yeah."
"Splendid," Pip said. "And besides, only Mormons go to heaven anyway."
(5)
Sherlock Holmes! I am relatively new to this fandom, and as of now am only fairly intrigued (as opposed to completely and utterly OBSESSED, the way I am with Star Trek) but really. There was that one part in the movie:
"Get that out of my face."
"It's not in your face, it's in my hand."
"Get what's in your hand out of my face."
Holmes smirks.
I mean, how can you NOT take that out of context???
That is all. I shall go back to brainstorming plot-devices, which is how this all got started in the first place (God, I have the attention span of a gnat. I swear)
However. I have urges, ok? And so, I feel appropriately ashamed about this, but now, for your amusement:
A Not-So-Comprehensive List of General Nonsensitude that I Fervently Hope Will Never Actually be Written by Me:
(1)
So, does anyone out there watch Bones? The Fox primetime show? Well, Bones! Bones Crossovers! With Dr. Brennan and Spock bonding over science and rationality! And both Booth and Kirk getting jealous! And also, this:
"Bones! Bones, Bones, Bones, you won't believe this," the Captain says, gesturing towards the humanoids as the Doctor is beamed into the lab. The Captain is grinning widely; Spock has never quite understood why humans would call it grinning...."from ear to ear" he believes is the correct colloquialism. However, Spock will concede to the fact that his Captain is grinning so widely that he wonders for a moment if it is perhaps causing the Captain harm. "Bones, meet Bones," the Captain continues, eyes shining with mirth. He gestures to the woman.
"Captain," Spock says neutrally.
"Ok, fine," Kirk pouts. "Not-that-kind-of-Doctor, Doctor Temperance Brennan, this is Totally-is-that-kind-of-Doctor, Doctor Leonard McCoy."
McCoy nods his head once in greeting. The woman's head tilts slightly to the side.
"That is really fascinating," she says, looking between the three of them. "How did you manage to successfully transport three humanoids effectively? The last paper I read dealt with instantaneous subatomic transport, but I assumed we were years away from moving on to anything more complex than even single-celled organisms."
Spock thinks he may have found a woman with whom he can at last have a proper discourse.
"Bones," the man says; from what Spock has gathered, he must be Special Agent Seeley Booth. "Don't bore these guys with the squint-talk."
"On the contrary Agent Booth," Spock answers, clasping his hands firmly behind his back. "I am quite interested in your planet's current transporting capabilities. If we are not otherwise previously engaged, perhaps it would be agreeable for Dr. Brennan and myself to speak on it in greater length at some other specified time?"
Beside him, Kirk scowls. The agent frowns for a second before his eyebrows shoot up suddenly.
"It would be a pleasure, Commander," Dr. Temperance Brennan says.
Spock allows himself to be satisfied.
(2)
Futurama inspired plotlines!!! Because seriously? Futurama is MADE OF AWESOME.
Right now, Jim's got a lot of people he wants to blame. He wants to blame Pike, for daring him to be better, Starfleet for sending him on this stupid mission in the first place (Space Bees. Really Starfleet? They couldn't just say "Let's just beg a whole lot of crazy shit to happen to the Enterprise, because what else could the universe throw at them?"), but mostly, he wants to blame Spock. Spock, who threw himself directly into the path of a deadly, deadly baby-queen bee's stinger to protect his Captain.
But Spock is dead, and he can't blame him. It's all Jim's fault anyway.
He shuts his eyes and wills back the pain because it feels like it's been years already (really, it's been less than two weeks) since that horrible, ugly funeral, where Jim hadn't let himself cry and even Bones wasn't in the mood for his suicidal depression.
And yeah, he gets that he's probably gone insane. Spock's been haunting his dreams, and fuck, he's even had to temporarily relieve himself of duty because of emotional goddamn compromise. He just; he knows he's gonna wake up from one of those dreams again, and nothing is going to be able to convince him that Spock isn't actually communicating to him through his mind, and then he'll drive his baby to the ends of the entire fucking universe looking for Spock. He'll waste his life, and the lives of his crew, looking, looking because if Spock's talking to him through his dreams, that means he has to be alive. And nothing will ever keep him from his First Officer.
But Spock is dead. He died protecting Jim from stupid Space Bees and Jim'll never get to tell him that he loves the stupid bastard because he's dead and it's all Jim's fault--
"Jim," a smooth voice says sternly from his bedside table.
Jim closes his eyes and clenches his jaw; he doesn't remember falling asleep this time, and he'd been about to hypo himself into a permanent coma, so this is what he wants anyway, to be asleep so his first officer can whisk him away to iceball planets and waltz with him across Deneb IV again. But he's probably just hallucinating, imagining it, because the Spock holo by his cramped bed turns its dark eyes to him.
"Listen to me," the Spock-holo implores. "You must awaken immediately. I cannot go on without you."
"You don't get to say that to me," Jim says, tears muddying his eyesight. "You do not get to say that to me Spock. You died."
"I have not perished Jim," the Spock-holo says. It blinks, and looks down slightly. "Please," it says. "Wake up,"
"I don't understand," Jim says a little desperately. The Spock-holo wavers slightly, and Jim panics. "Fuck Spock, Spock. I--Fuck I love you. Please, don't be dead Spock. You can't be dead."
"Wake up, Jim."
And suddenly, Jim's eyes open, and instead of being in his bed on the Enterprise, he's in someone's medbay, hooked up to machines and wires and tubes, and Spock's there, real and alive, holding his hand so tightly it hurts. His other hand relaxes from where Spock's pressed it against his face, cups Jim's cheek softly.
"Jim," Spock breathes. "You woke up."
"Well yeah," Jim says through the catch in his throat. Spock is here with him again, and fuck, Jim knew he hadn't died. "You wouldn't stop waking me."
And that's when Bones and the whole damn bridge crew burst into the room, talking about allergic reactions to poisons and comas, and Bones is checking his readings with a scowl that's less angry and more desperately relieved, so Jim figures he maybe isn't going crazy after all. Spock reluctantly shows him the tiny scar that the skin-regenerator couldn't quite fix, the one he got when the stupid Space Bee's stinger sliced right through his stomach and injected Jim with 99 percent of its toxic venom.
Jim smiles, not giving one flying fuck about any of it. Spock is alive.
"Spock, I--"
"I know, Jim."
And that's right around when Spock kisses him.
(3)
MOAR FUTURAMA. Except this one doesn't get a mini-fic because I only saw the end of the episode right now and was like "Shit! That is exactly how I will get Kirk and Spock out of that parallel universe I stuck them into in my current WIP! "
But then I had to change my mind. Because they used popcorn, a microwave and some sort of gadget the Professor just had lying around on his star ship to create that portal back into the future. And my fic is not really crack. So: I don't think so. ninjaboots ? If you get a draft of my wip and it mentions microwaves and popcorn, I won't be offended if you just delete the damn thing :)
(2)
And then, there was South Park (yes I am a South Park fan. Sue me, ok?). Oh God, did anyone catch the new episode tonight? I won't spoil it, except for the CHARACTER DEATH D: D: D: [and it wasn't even kenny!!] so, of course, I thought of this:
Damian sat on a blackened rock just outside the castle, his lips pursed and hands clasped. Pip stood just before him, looking down at the floor with a bemused smile on his face.
"So," Damian said. "You're dead."
"Yes it would appear so," Pip answered.
Damian raised an eyebrow.
"And why aren't you in heaven?"
Pip grinned. He sat down beside Damian and looked down at his shoes. Damian kind of wanted to kiss him.
"You should know," he said quietly, too quietly to be joking. He turned back to Damian, and his eyes were very blue in their sincerity. "You should know why."
Damian grinned wickedly (the only way he knew how to smile) and nudged Pip with his shoulder.
"Yeah."
"Splendid," Pip said. "And besides, only Mormons go to heaven anyway."
(5)
Sherlock Holmes! I am relatively new to this fandom, and as of now am only fairly intrigued (as opposed to completely and utterly OBSESSED, the way I am with Star Trek) but really. There was that one part in the movie:
"Get that out of my face."
"It's not in your face, it's in my hand."
"Get what's in your hand out of my face."
Holmes smirks.
I mean, how can you NOT take that out of context???
That is all. I shall go back to brainstorming plot-devices, which is how this all got started in the first place (God, I have the attention span of a gnat. I swear)