in the mood for change
It's interesting to see how much a person's life can change. In a year my life has gone through a series of changes. I have managed to get away from Flo. I have found that I hate going back there now and how I dunno I hate how I'm not proud of where I come from. Now I'm in this whole new world with Sean. He's everything I'm not. Organized, stable, confident. The list that follows could take forever. Yet he's everything I wouldn't ever look for in someone. I have found that I always went for what I wanted and not what I needed. In conculsion to my wants I ended up with nothing that I needed to follow. Even though I have loved all my ex's to some degree some more than others. I still ended up with the same results just in different situations all in which didn't fit what I needed. Sadly enough I didn't realize all this until years later. Yet a part of me wishs I could go back and make one of those relationships what I needed. Tis impossible and I know their ex's for a reason. I guess going through all this dating since I've moved and whatnot has opened my eyes to a thing or two. Can't say it hasn't been good for me. Sean is everything I don't think I'd ever look for in a guy nor is normally my taste. Clean cut,military,strong willed,expensive taste... I mean none of that has ever fit me. Yet I'm somehow attracted to him. Knowing I don't go for a single bit of that. MAybe change is really good and maybe opposites really do attract and work. Guess I might be testing that. O"H and LA. He's moving back to CA where he's stationed and wants me to join him. I don't know what I'll choose bc SC is far away from CA. Kinda thrilling in a way but scary also. how about that? Southern Bell in hollywood...is it possible?
feb 21 09
feb 21 09