Tough decisions
So I've been doing some research lately about the medications that I am currently taking for my condition (which has flared up again :-(). As with most medications, most of them should be avoided during pregnancy either entirely, or unless the benefits outway the costs.
Now, I am not pregnant. However, that is something that I know that somewhere down the line, like in 7 years or so, that I know that I want that. Down the line, eventually, but as with a lot of treatment options, it is something to consider if pregnancy were in my immediate future. Since it hasn't been, I haven't really thought about it at all. Planning my treatment around something that I know that I want but am not prepared to consider for several more years would seem a little off balance... Y'know? I do NOT want that now... or in the near future... however, several of my options are long term options - for one of them if I stop it, then I do not have the option of going back on it (oh yea, and that is the most effective drug...).
So it boils down to being forced to seriously consider treatment now that may effect something down the line that I am not yet willing to consider for myself now. So... I have to think about pregnancy when I don't want it now but know that I want it later? It's like marriage... I know that I want it and I know that I've found who I want to marry, but am still unwilling and not ready to tell him or seriously think about it because I'm not ready - but that doesn't change what I know.
Does this make sense to anyone else? It's like an elementary school student needing to think about college even though many programs will change but they still know that it's what they will want eventually but are not anywhere near ready to think about it. How's that? No better? Ok - well all my drug options are still pretty sucky. And to make it suckier, they're expensive. So I can't change insurance groups (pretty much ever) because I now have a pre-existing condition. And to make it all the more suckier - all of the choices that I make now will affect my ability to choose other things for myself later that I'm not ready to choose right now. Sucks, no?
Now, I am not pregnant. However, that is something that I know that somewhere down the line, like in 7 years or so, that I know that I want that. Down the line, eventually, but as with a lot of treatment options, it is something to consider if pregnancy were in my immediate future. Since it hasn't been, I haven't really thought about it at all. Planning my treatment around something that I know that I want but am not prepared to consider for several more years would seem a little off balance... Y'know? I do NOT want that now... or in the near future... however, several of my options are long term options - for one of them if I stop it, then I do not have the option of going back on it (oh yea, and that is the most effective drug...).
So it boils down to being forced to seriously consider treatment now that may effect something down the line that I am not yet willing to consider for myself now. So... I have to think about pregnancy when I don't want it now but know that I want it later? It's like marriage... I know that I want it and I know that I've found who I want to marry, but am still unwilling and not ready to tell him or seriously think about it because I'm not ready - but that doesn't change what I know.
Does this make sense to anyone else? It's like an elementary school student needing to think about college even though many programs will change but they still know that it's what they will want eventually but are not anywhere near ready to think about it. How's that? No better? Ok - well all my drug options are still pretty sucky. And to make it suckier, they're expensive. So I can't change insurance groups (pretty much ever) because I now have a pre-existing condition. And to make it all the more suckier - all of the choices that I make now will affect my ability to choose other things for myself later that I'm not ready to choose right now. Sucks, no?