give peace a chance before i blow you into pieces, kapeesh?
I woke up this morning in an overall good mood. My mom made some kickass breakfasty crepes (mmmm, there are perks to being part French...sometimes. I guess) filled with jelly and OMG it was delish. Wimbledon is on this week so I was watching that prior before signing online to buy my ticket for Transformers (I couldn't find anyone to go with at midnight. So I had to settle for a matinee. Sadness). Then I came across this lovely news article and I am now in a decidedly bad mood:
N. Korea threatens US; world anticipates missile
SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea threatened Wednesday to wipe the United States off the map as Washington and its allies watched for signs the regime will launch a series of missiles in the coming days.
Off China's coast, a U.S. destroyer was tailing a North Korean ship suspected of transporting illicit weapons to Myanmar in what could be the first test of U.N. sanctions passed to punish the nation for an underground nuclear test last month.
The Kang Nam left the North Korean port of Nampo a week ago with the USS John S. McCain close behind. The ship, accused of transporting banned goods in the past, is believed bound for Myanmar, according to South Korean and U.S. officials.
The new U.N. Security Council resolution requires member states to seek permission to inspect suspicious cargo. North Korea has said it would consider interception a declaration of war and on Wednesday accused the U.S. of seeking to provoke another Korean War.
"If the U.S. imperialists start another war, the army and people of Korea will ... wipe out the aggressors on the globe once and for all," the official Korean Central News Agency said.
The warning came on the eve of the 59th anniversary of the start of the three-year Korean War, which ended in a truce in 1953, not a peace treaty, leaving the peninsula in state of war.
[...more?]
North Korea needs to chill the fuck out. Are they retarded? Do they not know that for every missile they might launch at us, we'll probably have at least ten, already firing? And that wouldn't even solve our problems, because the whole world would still die in a fiery inferno and then we're all fucked because North Korea is bat shit crazy and is apparently still bitter over the Korean War. DEAL WITH IT. The Vietnam War was probably the worst thing to happen to our country in the modern era, and we're dealing with it and NOT threatening to bomb this shit out of Vietnam. GOD.
It's weird. I wonder if they'll go back to building bomb shelters in everyone's homes and teaching kids how to hide underneath their desks for protection in school. Although really there's no hiding from nuclear fallout. Nuclear fallout - especially at this intensity - would last for God knows how long. Who knows how long we'd have to go without sunlight, and how many crops would die in the process, or how much of our drinking water would be ruined, etc. That's assuming we all survive the initial blast, of course.
And don't even get me started on Iran. Other countries (particularly the damn Europeans) are giving us shit for not focusing all of our attention on Iran. Forgive us if we're a bit distracted as of late because we're a tad bit busy dealing with bat shit crazies over in North Korea AND TRYING TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE FROM NUCLEAR DOOM. MAN THE FUCK UP, EUROPE, AND DO SHIT INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR US TO RUN IN BLINDLY AND TRY TO FIX SHIT THAT WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIX. But the situation in Iran is very sad :( I'm not that heartless, geez guys. I really do take for granted living here with the freedom to vote and have my vote counted fairly and equally. And the Republicans are eating this up. They think we should go in and destroy Iran's theocracy and bring democracy to the country. Noble and heroic, I have to give them that. However, to that, I have but one response: HAI, MAH NAME IZ IRAQ, I DUN'T KNO IF YOUS IS REMEMBERS ME, BUT NICE TO MEET YOO. One country at a time, my friends. And NEWSFLASH - not the whole world is like us. Not all countries can handle democracy and would probably revert to what they used to be or resort to something even worse (*coughNorth Koreacough* Democratic People's Republic of Korea my butt!). For a political party that loves slow change and values religion and traditional shit, they sure love to stir up political and religious upset in other countries. Also ironic on the Democrats' side, if you think about it. Politics after the Civil War has become so effing weird.
So my solution: Isolationism, yes? We should have listened to George Washington and lived merry, oblivious lives and just not deal with other people's shit. France wants someone to bail them out again? Oh welllll, shit happens. Israel wants to fuck over Palestine for life? What the fuck ever, just give us back our weapons and ammo, Israel, and THEN try to go after them. Oh wait. You CAN'T BECAUSE WE GAVE YOU ALL YOUR WEAPONS.
However, if we go the isolation route, there are a few countries I'd like to annex. I'd like to annex Canada. I like Canada. We used to go there for vacation every so often and I always enjoyed it. Hockey, maple syrup, and overall dislike of the French - what's not to like, eh? And God, I'd annex Fiji in a heartbeat. My ideal place for a lavish vacation or honeymoon. Aside from the political unrest in the country, it's beautiful! And honestly, I've always loved Australia, and I would still love to go visit. However, I won't be able to do that if North Korea decides to bomb the shit out of the world. Awww, the poor kangaroos! And the coral reefs. AND THE GOOD LOOKING AUSSIE MEN, NOOOOOO! And I'd also annex the Philippines, Japan, and what the hell, I guess Britain because what would political disaster be without Britain to back us up and vice versa. Actually, I'd annex every country BUT France, Switzerland, and Sweden. France is self-explanatory, and as for the other two, they'd be too neutral to choose a side and would probably refuse to be annexed anyway.
...and this is why I'm not president and never could be. I have no patience. For all the shit that I (and the rest of the country) had given George Dubbya in his last eight years t(hat many people not-so-jokingly referred to as The Dark Ages), God bless his soul (if he has one) for not going bat shit crazy himself. God knows I would have killed at least eight people within my first 100 days as president because PEOPLE TALK SO DAMN MUCH.
Apparently I also lack morals. I guess being a lawyer will suit me just fine, lol.
Anyway. Now I'm going to see Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (ROBOTS IN DISGUISEEE) so I must bid you all adieu.
N. Korea threatens US; world anticipates missile
SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea threatened Wednesday to wipe the United States off the map as Washington and its allies watched for signs the regime will launch a series of missiles in the coming days.
Off China's coast, a U.S. destroyer was tailing a North Korean ship suspected of transporting illicit weapons to Myanmar in what could be the first test of U.N. sanctions passed to punish the nation for an underground nuclear test last month.
The Kang Nam left the North Korean port of Nampo a week ago with the USS John S. McCain close behind. The ship, accused of transporting banned goods in the past, is believed bound for Myanmar, according to South Korean and U.S. officials.
The new U.N. Security Council resolution requires member states to seek permission to inspect suspicious cargo. North Korea has said it would consider interception a declaration of war and on Wednesday accused the U.S. of seeking to provoke another Korean War.
"If the U.S. imperialists start another war, the army and people of Korea will ... wipe out the aggressors on the globe once and for all," the official Korean Central News Agency said.
The warning came on the eve of the 59th anniversary of the start of the three-year Korean War, which ended in a truce in 1953, not a peace treaty, leaving the peninsula in state of war.
[...more?]
North Korea needs to chill the fuck out. Are they retarded? Do they not know that for every missile they might launch at us, we'll probably have at least ten, already firing? And that wouldn't even solve our problems, because the whole world would still die in a fiery inferno and then we're all fucked because North Korea is bat shit crazy and is apparently still bitter over the Korean War. DEAL WITH IT. The Vietnam War was probably the worst thing to happen to our country in the modern era, and we're dealing with it and NOT threatening to bomb this shit out of Vietnam. GOD.
It's weird. I wonder if they'll go back to building bomb shelters in everyone's homes and teaching kids how to hide underneath their desks for protection in school. Although really there's no hiding from nuclear fallout. Nuclear fallout - especially at this intensity - would last for God knows how long. Who knows how long we'd have to go without sunlight, and how many crops would die in the process, or how much of our drinking water would be ruined, etc. That's assuming we all survive the initial blast, of course.
And don't even get me started on Iran. Other countries (particularly the damn Europeans) are giving us shit for not focusing all of our attention on Iran. Forgive us if we're a bit distracted as of late because we're a tad bit busy dealing with bat shit crazies over in North Korea AND TRYING TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE FROM NUCLEAR DOOM. MAN THE FUCK UP, EUROPE, AND DO SHIT INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR US TO RUN IN BLINDLY AND TRY TO FIX SHIT THAT WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO FIX. But the situation in Iran is very sad :( I'm not that heartless, geez guys. I really do take for granted living here with the freedom to vote and have my vote counted fairly and equally. And the Republicans are eating this up. They think we should go in and destroy Iran's theocracy and bring democracy to the country. Noble and heroic, I have to give them that. However, to that, I have but one response: HAI, MAH NAME IZ IRAQ, I DUN'T KNO IF YOUS IS REMEMBERS ME, BUT NICE TO MEET YOO. One country at a time, my friends. And NEWSFLASH - not the whole world is like us. Not all countries can handle democracy and would probably revert to what they used to be or resort to something even worse (*coughNorth Koreacough* Democratic People's Republic of Korea my butt!). For a political party that loves slow change and values religion and traditional shit, they sure love to stir up political and religious upset in other countries. Also ironic on the Democrats' side, if you think about it. Politics after the Civil War has become so effing weird.
So my solution: Isolationism, yes? We should have listened to George Washington and lived merry, oblivious lives and just not deal with other people's shit. France wants someone to bail them out again? Oh welllll, shit happens. Israel wants to fuck over Palestine for life? What the fuck ever, just give us back our weapons and ammo, Israel, and THEN try to go after them. Oh wait. You CAN'T BECAUSE WE GAVE YOU ALL YOUR WEAPONS.
However, if we go the isolation route, there are a few countries I'd like to annex. I'd like to annex Canada. I like Canada. We used to go there for vacation every so often and I always enjoyed it. Hockey, maple syrup, and overall dislike of the French - what's not to like, eh? And God, I'd annex Fiji in a heartbeat. My ideal place for a lavish vacation or honeymoon. Aside from the political unrest in the country, it's beautiful! And honestly, I've always loved Australia, and I would still love to go visit. However, I won't be able to do that if North Korea decides to bomb the shit out of the world. Awww, the poor kangaroos! And the coral reefs. AND THE GOOD LOOKING AUSSIE MEN, NOOOOOO! And I'd also annex the Philippines, Japan, and what the hell, I guess Britain because what would political disaster be without Britain to back us up and vice versa. Actually, I'd annex every country BUT France, Switzerland, and Sweden. France is self-explanatory, and as for the other two, they'd be too neutral to choose a side and would probably refuse to be annexed anyway.
...and this is why I'm not president and never could be. I have no patience. For all the shit that I (and the rest of the country) had given George Dubbya in his last eight years t(hat many people not-so-jokingly referred to as The Dark Ages), God bless his soul (if he has one) for not going bat shit crazy himself. God knows I would have killed at least eight people within my first 100 days as president because PEOPLE TALK SO DAMN MUCH.
Apparently I also lack morals. I guess being a lawyer will suit me just fine, lol.
Anyway. Now I'm going to see Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (ROBOTS IN DISGUISEEE) so I must bid you all adieu.