(no subject)
so, yes, I've moved once again. That's three times in 9 months. I swear I'm just gonna keep everything in boxes. I'm soo sick of packing, unloading, setting my shit up then doing it all over again. Nothing much has happened, like always. I swear Illinios is an abyss of hopelessness. It really makes me wonder what i was thinking when I moved here, that;s it though, I really didn't . I was in love and my heart just took control. Jason is the ONLY thing that keeps me here and I try to convence him to moving to NY but it never goes good. It's so depressing. I have no friends, other than Kevin, Jason's cousin and I only see him every now and then. Besides Jason He's the only one that really shares the same interests with me. I might go with him to Ozfest this year, hopefully. :/ But who knows nothing is stable here. My life is like the wind.
Yeah, so ive been with jason for 9 months now and I feel like we're stuck in the middle. I don't feel the passion like I did in the begining but maybe that's normal. I mean we still have our sweet, spark filled moments and those precious minutes that just makes me explode with love and happiness for him but just not as often as before. I've never had a real realtionship before so I dont really know how it all works. I love him so much and i know he loves me and we've been through so much shit, i just can't let go when things don't go my way. I'm just so lost.
I miss my old life. I miss it SOOO much. It's like I dont even now who i am anymore. I've changed so much. I'm not the fun loving whore of the past. I'm the serious, worrying all the time bore. I just want to party with my friends, I want to re-live the memories and make new ones, i want to be a dork and just laugh about stupid shit and tell girls and guys thier sluts and just be the old me, but i guess i can't. i guess I've grown up. I dont know. It sucks.
I have my cell phone back which is nice i can atleast talk to people and pretend everything is normal and okay.
Well, I guess thats all for now.
love
peace.
and chicken grease.
Whore OuT
Yeah, so ive been with jason for 9 months now and I feel like we're stuck in the middle. I don't feel the passion like I did in the begining but maybe that's normal. I mean we still have our sweet, spark filled moments and those precious minutes that just makes me explode with love and happiness for him but just not as often as before. I've never had a real realtionship before so I dont really know how it all works. I love him so much and i know he loves me and we've been through so much shit, i just can't let go when things don't go my way. I'm just so lost.
I miss my old life. I miss it SOOO much. It's like I dont even now who i am anymore. I've changed so much. I'm not the fun loving whore of the past. I'm the serious, worrying all the time bore. I just want to party with my friends, I want to re-live the memories and make new ones, i want to be a dork and just laugh about stupid shit and tell girls and guys thier sluts and just be the old me, but i guess i can't. i guess I've grown up. I dont know. It sucks.
I have my cell phone back which is nice i can atleast talk to people and pretend everything is normal and okay.
Well, I guess thats all for now.
love
peace.
and chicken grease.
Whore OuT