Why am I sinking stone?
Why, why, why do I feel this way? I hate that I hate myself. I hate that I am so used to being unhappy I feel trapped like I cant escape my unhappiness to be happy.
I am happy to be a mommy, and a wife, but I'm just nat happy to be myself. Part of me feels missing, out of place, 'off', out of range.
I come so close sometimes, I want to be better, to be more confident, more beautiful loving and understanding. I need something... I dont know what its going to take, I've lost myself to myself, I hate hide and go seek. I never win, I always give in, and give up. I want to breathe, I cant breathe, I cant see, I cant find, this stupid thing I've been continuously looking for to heal all my hurt and pain. I wollow in myself and sink to the bottom at least once a week. I'm a terrible swimmer, water has always scared me. Its my fear that makes me sink like the stone trapped in my stomach preventing me from finding myself
I am happy to be a mommy, and a wife, but I'm just nat happy to be myself. Part of me feels missing, out of place, 'off', out of range.
I come so close sometimes, I want to be better, to be more confident, more beautiful loving and understanding. I need something... I dont know what its going to take, I've lost myself to myself, I hate hide and go seek. I never win, I always give in, and give up. I want to breathe, I cant breathe, I cant see, I cant find, this stupid thing I've been continuously looking for to heal all my hurt and pain. I wollow in myself and sink to the bottom at least once a week. I'm a terrible swimmer, water has always scared me. Its my fear that makes me sink like the stone trapped in my stomach preventing me from finding myself