125.
There's silence on the phone when Heechul picks up, and he knows enough that he should hang up. It's an international call, from China. That should be reason enough, except it might be Zhou Mi, or it might be Henry, or it might be Donghae who's forgotten to change his sim because he always forgets and it causes such a hassle because he likes to give the other members heart attacks in the middle of the night and--
"Heechul," the voice says, and it feels like it's been years. It has been years.
"Han Geng," Heechul says, and the name feels foreign on his tongue, foreign and clunky. He was always Hankyung.
"I called to apologise."
"Apolo--" Heechul cuts himself off, runs a hand through his hair, and sits down heavily on his bed. "It's a bit late, isn't it," he says instead, scathing, and can practically feel Han Geng wince.
"Look, I didn't--"
"You knew very well what you were about to do."
There's silence. Heechul breathes. He can hear Han Geng let out a sigh.
"I did, and I'm sorry," he says, but Heechul can hear that it isn't a hundred percent sincere. Han Geng left on his own terms. He doesn't owe them anything - never have, never will. Heechul couldn't care less.
"I'm sorry, is there a reason for this call? I have places to be, people to see, things to do."
"I'm sorry, Xi Che, I--"
"Don't call me that."
A few seconds tick by, and Heechul removes the phone from his ear. His thumb hovers above the red button, but Han Geng says something, and he can hear the words perfectly in the emptiness of his room.
"...I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I didn't want to hurt you, or the rest of Super Junior. But I couldn't not do it. This wasn't about you, or about Super Junior, or even about SM Entertainment -- this was about me, and I'm sorry I hurt--"
"Stop."
Han Geng sighs. Heechul breathes quietly.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Han Geng says, and then, "Dui bu qi."
Heechul's jaw clenches. It's only then he realises that Han Geng had been talking in Korean, his accent soft, softer than when he had left. He'd been practising.
"That doesn't fix anything," Heechul says. "Just because you say sorry you think everything's going to be alright? You think that with one word, everything will be okay? I'm sorry, Hankyung, but life isn't fucking like that, okay, life isn't as easy as that. If sorry fixed everything, then my fucking leg wouldn't be like this, and Donghae's father wouldn't be dead, and Youngwoon wouldn't be in the fucking army -- or maybe he would, by choice. You can't just fix everything like that, don't think you can make everything okay like that."
"Heechul," Han Geng says, so softly, and Heechul closes his eyes, presses a hand to his eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"That doesn't fix anything, asshole."
"I know," Han Geng says against, so soft Heechul can barely hear it, "I know, but I'm sorry."
"I don't forgive you."
"I know," then, "I'm sorry."
"Heechul," the voice says, and it feels like it's been years. It has been years.
"Han Geng," Heechul says, and the name feels foreign on his tongue, foreign and clunky. He was always Hankyung.
"I called to apologise."
"Apolo--" Heechul cuts himself off, runs a hand through his hair, and sits down heavily on his bed. "It's a bit late, isn't it," he says instead, scathing, and can practically feel Han Geng wince.
"Look, I didn't--"
"You knew very well what you were about to do."
There's silence. Heechul breathes. He can hear Han Geng let out a sigh.
"I did, and I'm sorry," he says, but Heechul can hear that it isn't a hundred percent sincere. Han Geng left on his own terms. He doesn't owe them anything - never have, never will. Heechul couldn't care less.
"I'm sorry, is there a reason for this call? I have places to be, people to see, things to do."
"I'm sorry, Xi Che, I--"
"Don't call me that."
A few seconds tick by, and Heechul removes the phone from his ear. His thumb hovers above the red button, but Han Geng says something, and he can hear the words perfectly in the emptiness of his room.
"...I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I didn't want to hurt you, or the rest of Super Junior. But I couldn't not do it. This wasn't about you, or about Super Junior, or even about SM Entertainment -- this was about me, and I'm sorry I hurt--"
"Stop."
Han Geng sighs. Heechul breathes quietly.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Han Geng says, and then, "Dui bu qi."
Heechul's jaw clenches. It's only then he realises that Han Geng had been talking in Korean, his accent soft, softer than when he had left. He'd been practising.
"That doesn't fix anything," Heechul says. "Just because you say sorry you think everything's going to be alright? You think that with one word, everything will be okay? I'm sorry, Hankyung, but life isn't fucking like that, okay, life isn't as easy as that. If sorry fixed everything, then my fucking leg wouldn't be like this, and Donghae's father wouldn't be dead, and Youngwoon wouldn't be in the fucking army -- or maybe he would, by choice. You can't just fix everything like that, don't think you can make everything okay like that."
"Heechul," Han Geng says, so softly, and Heechul closes his eyes, presses a hand to his eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"That doesn't fix anything, asshole."
"I know," Han Geng says against, so soft Heechul can barely hear it, "I know, but I'm sorry."
"I don't forgive you."
"I know," then, "I'm sorry."