let's get deep... got it?
yes. i soak in the tub a lot.. and when i'm there, listening to my ipod, i think a lot. it's my reflection time (although i had the word reflection, thanks to the el ed program at freakin' iupui). yet, i was reflecting, nonetheless...(shocker, eh?)
it occurred to me... this time last year, i was trying to find someone to complete me. i wasn't looking for just a boyfriend, i needed a boyfriend who could give me all the qualities i had enjoyed in my ex(s), and more. i wanted a replacement for the people i had been with in the past and who had made me feel a sense of euphoria. i wasn't happy with my ex's near the end. but, being stubborn, i wasn't about to listen to everyone telling me how unhappy i had become, because i figured things are always worth working out. well, the problem with my longest relationships is they over-expired.
i really have no regrets when it comes to my relationship with my "highschool sweetheart"... i mean, i let it run it's course a little too long, but it really is hard to let go of someone who you spend years with and are closer to than anyone. but, finding my footing, i grew stronger. then, i weakened. i took what should have been the years of college i spend finding myself, and devoted it to someone who didn't appreciate me. i can't believe i wasted so much time on the guy i spent a chunk of 2005 with. i was deluded into thinking i could find that so-called ecstasy i once experienced in my younger years. this may sound cruel, but i was blinded... i thought he was what i wanted. i know, now, that i was foolish. i replaced my highschool boyfriend with a guy who is neither mature nor understanding. i was in love with the idea of being in love.
as death cab for cutie says..."no, you can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along."
i realize now, i AM finally complete. i have everything i could ever want.. and i don't need to have someone else in my life to feel happy and joyful. i'm strong, and i know what i want... if i can't find that in someone, i move on. i'm not wasting my time trying to "mold" someone into the perfect person for me. i do believe in love, (come on, y'all know i'm a hopeless romantic!) but love should only take place when you're happy with yourself. and, damnit, i am happy!
i am so grateful that i am now the person i should have been years ago. i am ready to love someone who deserves me... and no one less.
damn... how's that for deep?
now. for some weekend updates!
friday night was a freaking fabulous time. i had a blast with the guys...! we went to "the pub" in downtown and then went to ike and jonesy's... there were lots of drinks for the fellas, lots of dancing, and lots of hilarious moments.
the best was when this guy was hitting on my overly-oblivious friend craig. craig came bouncing over to me and stated, "he's not gay! he bought me two rounds!"... hahaha.. it was great.
i did have to handle brian trying to grab my ass all night while he was drunk... and craig did get beyond blitzed. but, twas great times! want to see photos? sure? good deal. i was going to put them in here, regardless:
mike and me showing off the "anal beads" (aka.. my necklace..)
"hey craig.. i wasn't going to tell you this.. but you're drunk, so i will...i saw your penis the other day." (i promise i wasn't tring to.)
we did this just to shut them up
making craig look p-i-m-p
this shot is the funniest one...
the guy hitting on craig
doing our "napoleon" moves
brian in the foreground, me in the background
andrea, mike, me, aj
when i dropped mike off, craig attacked me through my car window and could not get back up... haha
yeah.. fun times! then, saturday, i got to see the lovely kevin... whom i haven't seen since he rescued me on that drunken night in greenwood! what fun times we had around downtown and b-rip... i had an AMAZING alabama slammer at OBT...we almost got ran over by a car with two drunk girls driving it (no worries, your tough-ass meg flipped the bitches off)... and we spent a chunk of the evening trying to find the saggiest tits on the street... haha.. right on, right on.
today is my relaxing day... since i realized i've drank every night for the last five nights, i need to just... chill. plus, i should rest up because tomorrow, after work, it's a trip to purdue! looks like ash and i will be going to class with a hangover on tuesday..! yea!
peace out.
--meg (and soph...)
it occurred to me... this time last year, i was trying to find someone to complete me. i wasn't looking for just a boyfriend, i needed a boyfriend who could give me all the qualities i had enjoyed in my ex(s), and more. i wanted a replacement for the people i had been with in the past and who had made me feel a sense of euphoria. i wasn't happy with my ex's near the end. but, being stubborn, i wasn't about to listen to everyone telling me how unhappy i had become, because i figured things are always worth working out. well, the problem with my longest relationships is they over-expired.
i really have no regrets when it comes to my relationship with my "highschool sweetheart"... i mean, i let it run it's course a little too long, but it really is hard to let go of someone who you spend years with and are closer to than anyone. but, finding my footing, i grew stronger. then, i weakened. i took what should have been the years of college i spend finding myself, and devoted it to someone who didn't appreciate me. i can't believe i wasted so much time on the guy i spent a chunk of 2005 with. i was deluded into thinking i could find that so-called ecstasy i once experienced in my younger years. this may sound cruel, but i was blinded... i thought he was what i wanted. i know, now, that i was foolish. i replaced my highschool boyfriend with a guy who is neither mature nor understanding. i was in love with the idea of being in love.
as death cab for cutie says..."no, you can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along."
i realize now, i AM finally complete. i have everything i could ever want.. and i don't need to have someone else in my life to feel happy and joyful. i'm strong, and i know what i want... if i can't find that in someone, i move on. i'm not wasting my time trying to "mold" someone into the perfect person for me. i do believe in love, (come on, y'all know i'm a hopeless romantic!) but love should only take place when you're happy with yourself. and, damnit, i am happy!
i am so grateful that i am now the person i should have been years ago. i am ready to love someone who deserves me... and no one less.
damn... how's that for deep?
now. for some weekend updates!
friday night was a freaking fabulous time. i had a blast with the guys...! we went to "the pub" in downtown and then went to ike and jonesy's... there were lots of drinks for the fellas, lots of dancing, and lots of hilarious moments.
the best was when this guy was hitting on my overly-oblivious friend craig. craig came bouncing over to me and stated, "he's not gay! he bought me two rounds!"... hahaha.. it was great.
i did have to handle brian trying to grab my ass all night while he was drunk... and craig did get beyond blitzed. but, twas great times! want to see photos? sure? good deal. i was going to put them in here, regardless:
mike and me showing off the "anal beads" (aka.. my necklace..)
"hey craig.. i wasn't going to tell you this.. but you're drunk, so i will...i saw your penis the other day." (i promise i wasn't tring to.)
we did this just to shut them up
making craig look p-i-m-p
this shot is the funniest one...
the guy hitting on craig
doing our "napoleon" moves
brian in the foreground, me in the background
andrea, mike, me, aj
when i dropped mike off, craig attacked me through my car window and could not get back up... haha
yeah.. fun times! then, saturday, i got to see the lovely kevin... whom i haven't seen since he rescued me on that drunken night in greenwood! what fun times we had around downtown and b-rip... i had an AMAZING alabama slammer at OBT...we almost got ran over by a car with two drunk girls driving it (no worries, your tough-ass meg flipped the bitches off)... and we spent a chunk of the evening trying to find the saggiest tits on the street... haha.. right on, right on.
today is my relaxing day... since i realized i've drank every night for the last five nights, i need to just... chill. plus, i should rest up because tomorrow, after work, it's a trip to purdue! looks like ash and i will be going to class with a hangover on tuesday..! yea!
peace out.
--meg (and soph...)