i know in my heart i can't settle. i can't find perfection in a relationship because i simply want a "relationship". passersby were just that... on their merry way soon after i let them enter my life. i've been batting my eyes at fellows with kindred disinterest...up til now ( Read more... )

so my director position kicks major ass. i still get to be with the kids, but i get to be responsible for other stuff, too. i love having that role. thus, it's wonderful ( Read more... )

hell... i am lucky. :)

what a perfect day it was! tortoise racing where we were on the news and the radio... walking walking walking... and all sortsa other stuff. ahhhhhhhhhh.

i fucking hate being a "mystery"... i'm not a mystery. it's just that no one wants to take the time to get to know me.

it's 3:46... i can't sleep. i went to bed a few hours ago, and i guess my body/brain is satisfied with the sleep i've received so far. course, the thought of this upcoming day, is making it near-impossible for me to feel satisfied. haha.. well, that was witty in my head. shut up ( Read more... )

that was, without a doubt, the best weekend i've ever had ( Read more... )

...i feel horrid. this time it's nothing viral plaguing me. it's my incessant need to continually devour my broken heart with more torment. i can't simply just focus on the good right now. i'm not depressed, but i am down. down deeper than i have felt for several years. i've sunken lower than an ocean liner unable to stay afloat. and within ( Read more... )

i've been throwing up an empty stomach for the last 10 hours. i can't keep water down. i can't sleep. i can't really swallow. i can not remember ever being this miserable before, although i'm sure i have. if i still feel this way, i can't go to the school tomorrow ( Read more... )

i have officially cried monday, tuesday, and wednesday ( Read more... )

well, i did it. 36 pages in one weekend. got to bed by 10 pm. and my brain literally is empty right now. so this begins my final week of student teaching with first graders. oh my god, it's going to be SOOOO hard to let go. i mean, i started tearing up today. me. tearing up. i DO NOT do this. ever. i'm not insensitive by any means, it ( Read more... )