i should have gone into business
okay. so, i fuckin' rock. this is the deal...
i am not about to be pushed around by ANYONE. i'm not volatile by any means, but i will not let anyone tell me who i am. for instance... my mentor teacher. here is a touchy subject (as you can tell from previous entries). she has been nothing but a pain my backside since before day one. her cynicism is never supported with strong evidence... and, if anything, my teaching methods and the children's enthusiasm has caused the children to comprehend so much of the material. well, today, she gave me my "midterm evaluation". in other words, she showed me how she feels i rank on certain aspects in the classroom. the scale is: above expectations, satisfactory, improving, and needs improvement. well, for this last section... she gave me an "improving" on. this made me upset. she had checked that i had effectively completed all of the requirements of this section, so why did i get an "improving"?
i stopped her at the end of her explanation and i said, "i want to know why i got an 'improving' on this section." she said, "well, you did things. you're improving." this REALLY vague explanation led me to believe she is a .... well... i said, "okay. then, what characteristics would you describe a student teacher possessing in order to receive a satisfactory or above expectations score?" she stuttered. paused for a long time. me--sitting. waiting. wishing she'd freakin' say something. this is what she said..."um. i don't know right now. it's, uh... hmm... it's in my head, i think. it won't come out." more like, her head is up her ass and she's coming up with a scoring method without thinking thoroughly about her scores. i mean, face it... as student teachers, it's drilled in our head to constantly and consistently think about how we score things. we have to have evidence to always support our thinking. why does our mentor teacher not put any real thought into our scores? she simply writes her (opinionated) answer down without and reasoning behind it. i mean, if i fulfilled all of the requirements, why should i have an "improving" score?
she also commented that i am "not enthusiastic" about completing lesson plans. to which, i informed her, that while i do not discuss every single thing that i do when i am home, i am, in fact, constantly working on school things. i told her the cold, hard, truth. i've not only been typing up papers about my students needs in teh classroom and their interests, i've been researching how to incorporate their loves into the lessons. this, i've done already, has worked tremendously. of course, lately, she's been leaving us in the classroom from 9:30-12:30, so she rarely sees any of the activities we do during this time. in addition, i told her about my particular interest with my focus student... how i've made special trips to the library on a bi-weekly basis just to get him books he's interested in reading (and that are appropriate for him) so that he IS in fact reading instead of sitting in the back of the room like he used to do. i informed her that i was doing so much stuff, i just didn't feel as though i needed to report all of my good deeds to her, because then i felt i would appear as though i was searching out "praise".
at the end of the day, she walked over to me and said, "since i can't come up with expectations for a satisfactory or above student teacher... i decided i should change your score." i was thinking, "fuck yes you should. awesome. i'm going to win more battles now, i can just tell..."
i should have gone into business that involves persuasion and cold, hard, facts. i am typically VERY easy-going...but if somethign she does affects my college career... then i need to have the cold, hard, facts about why she put what she put.
fuckin' hell. my cat fell off my desk and used my leg as landing gear. i can feel the scratches...
time to go tend to my wounds. and my victory!
--meg
ps: my bday was phenomenal...! i just invited four close friends to go out with me saturday.. i have no idea what i did or what was said. thus, it was grand. next weekend, i'm thinking, i'll have a bigger bday bash and invite everyone else. i can't wait to get this week over with...!
i am not about to be pushed around by ANYONE. i'm not volatile by any means, but i will not let anyone tell me who i am. for instance... my mentor teacher. here is a touchy subject (as you can tell from previous entries). she has been nothing but a pain my backside since before day one. her cynicism is never supported with strong evidence... and, if anything, my teaching methods and the children's enthusiasm has caused the children to comprehend so much of the material. well, today, she gave me my "midterm evaluation". in other words, she showed me how she feels i rank on certain aspects in the classroom. the scale is: above expectations, satisfactory, improving, and needs improvement. well, for this last section... she gave me an "improving" on. this made me upset. she had checked that i had effectively completed all of the requirements of this section, so why did i get an "improving"?
i stopped her at the end of her explanation and i said, "i want to know why i got an 'improving' on this section." she said, "well, you did things. you're improving." this REALLY vague explanation led me to believe she is a .... well... i said, "okay. then, what characteristics would you describe a student teacher possessing in order to receive a satisfactory or above expectations score?" she stuttered. paused for a long time. me--sitting. waiting. wishing she'd freakin' say something. this is what she said..."um. i don't know right now. it's, uh... hmm... it's in my head, i think. it won't come out." more like, her head is up her ass and she's coming up with a scoring method without thinking thoroughly about her scores. i mean, face it... as student teachers, it's drilled in our head to constantly and consistently think about how we score things. we have to have evidence to always support our thinking. why does our mentor teacher not put any real thought into our scores? she simply writes her (opinionated) answer down without and reasoning behind it. i mean, if i fulfilled all of the requirements, why should i have an "improving" score?
she also commented that i am "not enthusiastic" about completing lesson plans. to which, i informed her, that while i do not discuss every single thing that i do when i am home, i am, in fact, constantly working on school things. i told her the cold, hard, truth. i've not only been typing up papers about my students needs in teh classroom and their interests, i've been researching how to incorporate their loves into the lessons. this, i've done already, has worked tremendously. of course, lately, she's been leaving us in the classroom from 9:30-12:30, so she rarely sees any of the activities we do during this time. in addition, i told her about my particular interest with my focus student... how i've made special trips to the library on a bi-weekly basis just to get him books he's interested in reading (and that are appropriate for him) so that he IS in fact reading instead of sitting in the back of the room like he used to do. i informed her that i was doing so much stuff, i just didn't feel as though i needed to report all of my good deeds to her, because then i felt i would appear as though i was searching out "praise".
at the end of the day, she walked over to me and said, "since i can't come up with expectations for a satisfactory or above student teacher... i decided i should change your score." i was thinking, "fuck yes you should. awesome. i'm going to win more battles now, i can just tell..."
i should have gone into business that involves persuasion and cold, hard, facts. i am typically VERY easy-going...but if somethign she does affects my college career... then i need to have the cold, hard, facts about why she put what she put.
fuckin' hell. my cat fell off my desk and used my leg as landing gear. i can feel the scratches...
time to go tend to my wounds. and my victory!
--meg
ps: my bday was phenomenal...! i just invited four close friends to go out with me saturday.. i have no idea what i did or what was said. thus, it was grand. next weekend, i'm thinking, i'll have a bigger bday bash and invite everyone else. i can't wait to get this week over with...!