work
so working from home isn't as great as I thought it would be. Its so hard to actually get out of bed start my equipment and start working. but it does give me a lot of time online which is funny cuz now that I'm always online I never get online when I'm not working. Been thinking lately. I have a love hate relationship with my job. I love it cuz they actually work with me schedule wise I have a great schedule. If I have a Dr appointment or a kid to pick up or something they work with me and let me go do what I have to do as long as I make up any time missed which isn't that bad. But I hate how they run the shit. I get 2 different answers from everyone. My sup has never taken these calls so she doesn't even have first hand experience just what everyone else has told her. Shes fucking dumb and on my ass when I had 100% for the whole month seriously she can't just leave me alone. but whatever.
Also been thinking about certain issues with a certain someone. actually certain people. for one my best friend love her to death but she was recently taking care of my rabbit when he was killed by her dog. and then I told her you know just tell me straight out what happened the only thing she kept telling me was I dunno I dunno. So I got upset and said you know just tell me his fucking dead if hes dead and she says I was trying to tell you with heart cuz I'm your friend and didn't want to tell you like a bitch. I'm thinking ok she didn't say you know I'm sorry hes gone she just kept saying I don't know so then shes mad because I got mad at her. I think that's the dumbest thing ever since I kind of had a right to be mad. especially since she added that it was the second time nina got in somehow which makes me think if it happened before don't you think you should have moved the rabbit somewhere else safer where she can't get him. so eh thats one thing.. I had the rabbit for like 3 or 4 years and one month that she had him he was dead so yea.
And with other persons its like odd. love but never talking. saying its my fault cuz I said I was leaving before which ok fine I said bye but I was not being acknowledged in the least. we would go days without talking on the phone or texting or whatever and he expects me to be fine with that. Ugh I understand he was gone for a year but even when he was gone we talked every fucking day. Ugh its just frustrating. I just want to move on and stop being sad and stop waiting around for him. I fucked up and I said I was sorry. He says I just want to paint him as the bad guy but truth is to everyone else but myself I paint the picture of things hes done much nicer so no one else sees him in a bad way. Ugh and its like now every time we talk it just ends in a fight its horrible. I'd rather just walk away let things settle forgive forget all water under the bridge thing happen but he sees it as just giving up and yea in a way it is giving up. But in another its just a chapter that's done and a new chapter needs to begin. And in the past its always been that way let go for a couple months and then one day end up talking again then dating and whatever and its better because we've gotten over all the past shit. But ugh telling him this is like beating a dead horse he just doesn't understand. Just says I'm giving up and he can't believe and he just makes me feel incredibly guilty and then saying cuz I'm dating someone else or have someone else I want to date which is why I'm telling him this stuff which couldn't be further from the truth. Its incredibly frustrating for someone to shoot you down that way all the time. Ugh but saying this somewhere helps me. but oh well. time will tell. and Life goes on. So in a new city new things to do and I will take advantage of that. even if it is for a short period of time.
Also been thinking about certain issues with a certain someone. actually certain people. for one my best friend love her to death but she was recently taking care of my rabbit when he was killed by her dog. and then I told her you know just tell me straight out what happened the only thing she kept telling me was I dunno I dunno. So I got upset and said you know just tell me his fucking dead if hes dead and she says I was trying to tell you with heart cuz I'm your friend and didn't want to tell you like a bitch. I'm thinking ok she didn't say you know I'm sorry hes gone she just kept saying I don't know so then shes mad because I got mad at her. I think that's the dumbest thing ever since I kind of had a right to be mad. especially since she added that it was the second time nina got in somehow which makes me think if it happened before don't you think you should have moved the rabbit somewhere else safer where she can't get him. so eh thats one thing.. I had the rabbit for like 3 or 4 years and one month that she had him he was dead so yea.
And with other persons its like odd. love but never talking. saying its my fault cuz I said I was leaving before which ok fine I said bye but I was not being acknowledged in the least. we would go days without talking on the phone or texting or whatever and he expects me to be fine with that. Ugh I understand he was gone for a year but even when he was gone we talked every fucking day. Ugh its just frustrating. I just want to move on and stop being sad and stop waiting around for him. I fucked up and I said I was sorry. He says I just want to paint him as the bad guy but truth is to everyone else but myself I paint the picture of things hes done much nicer so no one else sees him in a bad way. Ugh and its like now every time we talk it just ends in a fight its horrible. I'd rather just walk away let things settle forgive forget all water under the bridge thing happen but he sees it as just giving up and yea in a way it is giving up. But in another its just a chapter that's done and a new chapter needs to begin. And in the past its always been that way let go for a couple months and then one day end up talking again then dating and whatever and its better because we've gotten over all the past shit. But ugh telling him this is like beating a dead horse he just doesn't understand. Just says I'm giving up and he can't believe and he just makes me feel incredibly guilty and then saying cuz I'm dating someone else or have someone else I want to date which is why I'm telling him this stuff which couldn't be further from the truth. Its incredibly frustrating for someone to shoot you down that way all the time. Ugh but saying this somewhere helps me. but oh well. time will tell. and Life goes on. So in a new city new things to do and I will take advantage of that. even if it is for a short period of time.