Green-Eyed Monster, Part 1

Jul 23, 2007 15:23

Green-Eyed Monster (Part 1)

**Allison**

Allison awoke around noon, hearing voices arguing, coming ever closer down the hall.  Seconds later, the guest room door burst open.

“What!? Who is she, and why is she wearing your t-shirt?” the woman shrieked, as she pulled the comforter off the bed, exposing Allison’s bare legs to the cool air.
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conversations, fiction, jealousy

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Comments 2

devilduckieee July 25 2007, 09:21:33 UTC
I am definitely intrigued by this story. I have a feeling I know where it's leading and I think the journey could be quite interesting ( ... )

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allycat46 July 25 2007, 17:04:15 UTC
Thanks for your insight!
I've always written for the factual world (i.e. everybody knows what the product is), so character description is new to me. some of part 3, the back story, has the character descriptions; clearly I need to at least 'hint' at them up front.
Thanks for the pointer on dialogue; obviously, I've never done that either! lol
I guess more description of the sex vehicle, (oops! I mean car) would be helpful too ;) that's also in Part 3, so I'll import a little

Really - thanks for your comments, they are so helpful! And definitely not too much

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