Painting Flowers For You [3/?]
Title: Painting Flowers For You
Author: Livi (fuckregrets)
Summary: I wish I could of been there for you. But I am here for you now and it's a new start; just don't shut down on me.
POV: Alex's
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Title belongs to: All Time Low's Painting Flowers.
Cut belongs to: All Time Low's Vegas
Disclaimer: This did not happen, all fake. And I do not own All Time Low
A/N: No laptop so I'll be up dating this at college whenever I can. Sorry.Masterpost.
When I woke up later that morning, well I guess you can say afternoon.
I feel so sore; my body aches and I have no idea why. It really does suck to be me right? Man I know it sucks to be me.
Anyway; today is the day where I am going to ring him. I think it’s a bit too soon to be getting on a plane and surprising him; god knows what state he is in. If he’s in any state that is.
If he is, then it’s my entire fault. I know it will be. I wish I didn’t do what I did now but I know I can’t change what has happened. You can’t change the past.
I hope he isn’t too mad at me, I just hope that he understands that I needed to do what I did and if he didn’t then I’ll help him understand.
I know it seems like I have high hopes about this but you know, you can’t be all negative. You have to look on the bright side of things right? No point in dwelling on the negative shit.
I hope he picks up later, I hope he’s waiting by his phone and waiting for it to light up with my name flashing on his screen. Maybe his heart will swell with happiness because the call is from me. I don’t know; I can only guess and speculate like I always do.
I sigh to myself as I roll off my single bed and stand up stretching my arms well above my head. Today’s date is 13th September. A few more weeks and the fall will be here. Great.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the fall well most of the time. But ever since my Mother died I’ve started to detest fall; hell of a lot. I might add.
I wonder how my Father is doing, I hope he’s doing okay and not letting depression hit him. Not like last time, not like it did with Daniel’s death. That was hard to watch. My own Father breaking down and becoming nothing of himself; but he got over it with the help of my Mother. And now she wasn’t here God knows who’s looking after him.
But I do know that he has the rest of the family back in England to look after him. They’ll help him get through things; I know they will.
Whereas for me. I don’t know, I guess I have people back in Baltimore that will take care of me. But I seriously doubt they would even care after two years of no contact with them. I don’t blame them for walking away or anything; I know it was my fault and my fault alone.
However, I know he cares. He’s never stopped caring no matter what I do; even if it’s something like this. He’s always the one to be the rock and half the time I wondered why I ever deserved a person like him. But he always managed to see the good in me even why I couldn’t and I guess that’s I love him so much.
Yes I still love him even though I’m like five hours away from him. One plane ride, five hours, one car ride and forty minutes away from him.
I mean it’s not that bad, I guess, but I really don’t like flying that much. But if I want to go and see him one day then I will have to get over that, because I can’t let that get in the way of going back to him.
As I look around my room, I sigh to myself, it’s so plain here. Not home like.
And I am not okay with that. I really am not.
I wish this place was my home, but I know my home is back in Baltimore. Back with him; because home is where the heart is.
And he is the heart so that’s where the home is.
Okay enough of me being a complete idiot; I really do have to get a move on with this phone call with him.
I know that we don’t have different times so I know he’ll probably be awake or something. Now it’s just time to go and find my god damn cell phone, if I only could remember where I had put it last. I know I don’t carry the thing around with me anymore because I haven’t called or texted anyone since I left Baltimore.
With another sigh, I left my room and started to make my way towards my rather small kitchen; this didn’t bother me because I didn’t buy a lot when I went shopping, it wasn’t like I was a big eater anyway and it would have been a wasted of money if I went a brought half the supermarket.
As I walk, I look around my small apartment; it’s still the same as when I brought it. I didn’t buy new furniture; I didn’t need to, it would have been a waste of time anyway. And besides I wasn’t good with furniture shopping. Not like him anyway. He was great at furniture shopping; he always knew what to buy and knew what he needed. Whereas me, I had no clue.
When I reach my kitchen I look around the work tops looking for the small device. It turns out that after a few minutes I had left it near the sink. Now why on earth would I leave something like that near the sink? Obviously I do not think before I put things down and where I am putting them.
I am such an idiot.
I walk the short distance to the sink and grab my phone quickly. I hold the device in my hand and I start to feel my heartbeat quicken inside my chest. What am I so afraid of? Him not answering? Him answering and not given me a chance to explain to him, or maybe it’s because I am nervous to hear his voice?
Yes that’s got to be it. I am just nervous to hear his voice.
I unlock my phone and go to my contacts; I scroll down to his name, reading every other name before his. I see my dad’s number there and a small sad smile creeps its way onto my lips. I haven’t called him either, maybe I should call him afterwards or sometime in the next few days just to make sure he’s okay and everything. But then again I don’t see why he hasn’t bothered to call me when he got back to England to tell me that he had arrived there safely. Or maybe he’s just waiting for me to make the first move for a change. After all; it’s only me and him left in the Gaskarth family now.
Without realising it, I stopped dead on his name when I was thinking of my Father, if you ask me that was a little bit weird because I didn’t notice that I had stopped scrolling. Man I always lose track when I am deep in thought.
I stare at his name for a few seconds before moving my thing to hover over the small green phone button that will connect my call to his phone. I am hoping that it is on and not switched off and that he answers me a few rings in so that I don’t have to ring again and keep trying.
Well if it does that I don’t mind ringing him again until he answers me, at least he’ll get the message that I want to talk to him. Or maybe he’ll just be sat there in shock looking at his phone because he’ll be seeing my name flash up on the screen every few seconds. Well whatever I hope he’s just ready because clearly I’m not.
I have the sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach and my breathe hitches in my throat as I finally press down on the call button.
I slowly place my cell to my ear and count to ten in my head each time I hear the phone ring on the other end. God I know he isn’t going to pick up, because maybe he hates me. Maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with me. What happens if he’s….
But my thoughts are soon cut short when the phone stops ringing on the other end of the phone because he’s picked up.
I’m not going to lie when there wasn’t that awkward silence because there was. It was terrible and I didn’t know who was going to talk first but it seems like he got there before me because he voice broke the silence.
“Alex?” He asked his voice hoarse, and at once I knew he had been crying; and it was my entire fault. If only I could hold him right now and tell him that everything was going to okay; but I couldn’t because we were over the phone and that wouldn’t work out.
“Yes Jack, it’s me.” I whispered a few minutes later because I had found my voice. I hear him sigh in relief and I gripped my phone tighter because I knew he wasn’t mad at me and that he had been waiting to hear my voice. Which is a good think I might add.
“J-Jack, we need to talk.” I stuttered as butterflies started to fill my stomach, I could tell that my body was radiating relief even though he had only said a few words. He chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone, at least he agreed with me even though he hadn’t said it into words yet.
“I know we do Lex, I’m all ears. But first of all when are you coming back home?” He asked outward. And I expected that question but no so soon.
I sigh and shrug my shoulders to myself as I thought about my answer to his question, “I honestly don’t know Jack. I thought that maybe you don’t want me back there because I left without an explanation.” I mumbled to him. I stood where I was waiting patiently for his answer whether it was good or bad but at least it would be an answer right?
“Alex don’t you ever think like that.” He said sharply, “Of course I want you back here you idiot. You know I haven’t be wishing that you would come back for nothing; if you’re back here at least I know that you’re safe and I don’t have to worried out of my god damn mind wondering what has happened to you.” He continued not letting me get a word in.
“No wait Alex you’re not even going to think about giving me an answer because I demand that you coming. Today.” He said firmly. I laughed to myself; so I was wrong earlier then. He did want me back.
“Okay Jack but this doesn’t change the fact that I need to explain things to you.” I muttered, he laughed again. Man how I’ve missed his laugh so much. “You’re right Alex it doesn’t but I can sort of guys why you did what you did. But if you want to elaborate on that then be my guest; I guess I’ll see you in like six hours or so then.” He said quietly but I could tell that there was a smile in his voice.
“I guess you will Barakat.” I agreed and hung up the phone.
Wow things had gone better than I expected and I never thought they would, but then again Jack is always proving me wrong like he always does. And I don’t mind that.
I stood in my kitchen for a few minutes letting everything sink in about what had just happened. I was going home. I was going back to Baltimore.
I was going back home to Jack.
My Jack.
The Jack that still loves me after everything that I had done. I was finally going to be happy again.
I shook my head to myself as I started to move towards my bedroom again and start packing. I would have to buy my plane ticket at the airport and get on the next flight or the flight after that.
But one thing I didn’t know was if Jack was going to pick me up from the airport or was I going to get a cab from there to our apartment? Whatever was going to happen; I was just going to be happy to see Jack again and have in my arms.
Author: Livi (fuckregrets)
Summary: I wish I could of been there for you. But I am here for you now and it's a new start; just don't shut down on me.
POV: Alex's
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Title belongs to: All Time Low's Painting Flowers.
Cut belongs to: All Time Low's Vegas
Disclaimer: This did not happen, all fake. And I do not own All Time Low
A/N: No laptop so I'll be up dating this at college whenever I can. Sorry.Masterpost.
When I woke up later that morning, well I guess you can say afternoon.
I feel so sore; my body aches and I have no idea why. It really does suck to be me right? Man I know it sucks to be me.
Anyway; today is the day where I am going to ring him. I think it’s a bit too soon to be getting on a plane and surprising him; god knows what state he is in. If he’s in any state that is.
If he is, then it’s my entire fault. I know it will be. I wish I didn’t do what I did now but I know I can’t change what has happened. You can’t change the past.
I hope he isn’t too mad at me, I just hope that he understands that I needed to do what I did and if he didn’t then I’ll help him understand.
I know it seems like I have high hopes about this but you know, you can’t be all negative. You have to look on the bright side of things right? No point in dwelling on the negative shit.
I hope he picks up later, I hope he’s waiting by his phone and waiting for it to light up with my name flashing on his screen. Maybe his heart will swell with happiness because the call is from me. I don’t know; I can only guess and speculate like I always do.
I sigh to myself as I roll off my single bed and stand up stretching my arms well above my head. Today’s date is 13th September. A few more weeks and the fall will be here. Great.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the fall well most of the time. But ever since my Mother died I’ve started to detest fall; hell of a lot. I might add.
I wonder how my Father is doing, I hope he’s doing okay and not letting depression hit him. Not like last time, not like it did with Daniel’s death. That was hard to watch. My own Father breaking down and becoming nothing of himself; but he got over it with the help of my Mother. And now she wasn’t here God knows who’s looking after him.
But I do know that he has the rest of the family back in England to look after him. They’ll help him get through things; I know they will.
Whereas for me. I don’t know, I guess I have people back in Baltimore that will take care of me. But I seriously doubt they would even care after two years of no contact with them. I don’t blame them for walking away or anything; I know it was my fault and my fault alone.
However, I know he cares. He’s never stopped caring no matter what I do; even if it’s something like this. He’s always the one to be the rock and half the time I wondered why I ever deserved a person like him. But he always managed to see the good in me even why I couldn’t and I guess that’s I love him so much.
Yes I still love him even though I’m like five hours away from him. One plane ride, five hours, one car ride and forty minutes away from him.
I mean it’s not that bad, I guess, but I really don’t like flying that much. But if I want to go and see him one day then I will have to get over that, because I can’t let that get in the way of going back to him.
As I look around my room, I sigh to myself, it’s so plain here. Not home like.
And I am not okay with that. I really am not.
I wish this place was my home, but I know my home is back in Baltimore. Back with him; because home is where the heart is.
And he is the heart so that’s where the home is.
Okay enough of me being a complete idiot; I really do have to get a move on with this phone call with him.
I know that we don’t have different times so I know he’ll probably be awake or something. Now it’s just time to go and find my god damn cell phone, if I only could remember where I had put it last. I know I don’t carry the thing around with me anymore because I haven’t called or texted anyone since I left Baltimore.
With another sigh, I left my room and started to make my way towards my rather small kitchen; this didn’t bother me because I didn’t buy a lot when I went shopping, it wasn’t like I was a big eater anyway and it would have been a wasted of money if I went a brought half the supermarket.
As I walk, I look around my small apartment; it’s still the same as when I brought it. I didn’t buy new furniture; I didn’t need to, it would have been a waste of time anyway. And besides I wasn’t good with furniture shopping. Not like him anyway. He was great at furniture shopping; he always knew what to buy and knew what he needed. Whereas me, I had no clue.
When I reach my kitchen I look around the work tops looking for the small device. It turns out that after a few minutes I had left it near the sink. Now why on earth would I leave something like that near the sink? Obviously I do not think before I put things down and where I am putting them.
I am such an idiot.
I walk the short distance to the sink and grab my phone quickly. I hold the device in my hand and I start to feel my heartbeat quicken inside my chest. What am I so afraid of? Him not answering? Him answering and not given me a chance to explain to him, or maybe it’s because I am nervous to hear his voice?
Yes that’s got to be it. I am just nervous to hear his voice.
I unlock my phone and go to my contacts; I scroll down to his name, reading every other name before his. I see my dad’s number there and a small sad smile creeps its way onto my lips. I haven’t called him either, maybe I should call him afterwards or sometime in the next few days just to make sure he’s okay and everything. But then again I don’t see why he hasn’t bothered to call me when he got back to England to tell me that he had arrived there safely. Or maybe he’s just waiting for me to make the first move for a change. After all; it’s only me and him left in the Gaskarth family now.
Without realising it, I stopped dead on his name when I was thinking of my Father, if you ask me that was a little bit weird because I didn’t notice that I had stopped scrolling. Man I always lose track when I am deep in thought.
I stare at his name for a few seconds before moving my thing to hover over the small green phone button that will connect my call to his phone. I am hoping that it is on and not switched off and that he answers me a few rings in so that I don’t have to ring again and keep trying.
Well if it does that I don’t mind ringing him again until he answers me, at least he’ll get the message that I want to talk to him. Or maybe he’ll just be sat there in shock looking at his phone because he’ll be seeing my name flash up on the screen every few seconds. Well whatever I hope he’s just ready because clearly I’m not.
I have the sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach and my breathe hitches in my throat as I finally press down on the call button.
I slowly place my cell to my ear and count to ten in my head each time I hear the phone ring on the other end. God I know he isn’t going to pick up, because maybe he hates me. Maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with me. What happens if he’s….
But my thoughts are soon cut short when the phone stops ringing on the other end of the phone because he’s picked up.
I’m not going to lie when there wasn’t that awkward silence because there was. It was terrible and I didn’t know who was going to talk first but it seems like he got there before me because he voice broke the silence.
“Alex?” He asked his voice hoarse, and at once I knew he had been crying; and it was my entire fault. If only I could hold him right now and tell him that everything was going to okay; but I couldn’t because we were over the phone and that wouldn’t work out.
“Yes Jack, it’s me.” I whispered a few minutes later because I had found my voice. I hear him sigh in relief and I gripped my phone tighter because I knew he wasn’t mad at me and that he had been waiting to hear my voice. Which is a good think I might add.
“J-Jack, we need to talk.” I stuttered as butterflies started to fill my stomach, I could tell that my body was radiating relief even though he had only said a few words. He chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone, at least he agreed with me even though he hadn’t said it into words yet.
“I know we do Lex, I’m all ears. But first of all when are you coming back home?” He asked outward. And I expected that question but no so soon.
I sigh and shrug my shoulders to myself as I thought about my answer to his question, “I honestly don’t know Jack. I thought that maybe you don’t want me back there because I left without an explanation.” I mumbled to him. I stood where I was waiting patiently for his answer whether it was good or bad but at least it would be an answer right?
“Alex don’t you ever think like that.” He said sharply, “Of course I want you back here you idiot. You know I haven’t be wishing that you would come back for nothing; if you’re back here at least I know that you’re safe and I don’t have to worried out of my god damn mind wondering what has happened to you.” He continued not letting me get a word in.
“No wait Alex you’re not even going to think about giving me an answer because I demand that you coming. Today.” He said firmly. I laughed to myself; so I was wrong earlier then. He did want me back.
“Okay Jack but this doesn’t change the fact that I need to explain things to you.” I muttered, he laughed again. Man how I’ve missed his laugh so much. “You’re right Alex it doesn’t but I can sort of guys why you did what you did. But if you want to elaborate on that then be my guest; I guess I’ll see you in like six hours or so then.” He said quietly but I could tell that there was a smile in his voice.
“I guess you will Barakat.” I agreed and hung up the phone.
Wow things had gone better than I expected and I never thought they would, but then again Jack is always proving me wrong like he always does. And I don’t mind that.
I stood in my kitchen for a few minutes letting everything sink in about what had just happened. I was going home. I was going back to Baltimore.
I was going back home to Jack.
My Jack.
The Jack that still loves me after everything that I had done. I was finally going to be happy again.
I shook my head to myself as I started to move towards my bedroom again and start packing. I would have to buy my plane ticket at the airport and get on the next flight or the flight after that.
But one thing I didn’t know was if Jack was going to pick me up from the airport or was I going to get a cab from there to our apartment? Whatever was going to happen; I was just going to be happy to see Jack again and have in my arms.