Soundless Martyrdom. 9/?
Title:Soundless Martyrdom [previously untitled] 9/?
Author:conspiracy_xx
Rating:pg-13 for now
Pairing(s):jack/alex
Summary:“We keep ourselves a mystery”
Authors note: thank you to writtenaengel, for giving me the title :D
Dedications:dear angelica, since she is the whole reason i wrote this fic and since she came up with the scenario for the fic.
Previous Chapters: one| two| three| four| five| six| seven| eight
“We keep ourselves a mystery”
For the next week, Alex kept Jack hidden away, he was his best kept secret. No-one knew of their relationship and apart from the few who had visited Jack, no-one knew where Jack was either. They preferred it this way, it made them both safe, or so they thought they’d be safe. Jack was hiding something from Alex, Jack was petrified, thanks to his dad. Somehow his dad knew where he was, but he never threatened to come round, he wouldn’t kick up a fuss in front of people, no he’d wait for Jack to come home, he would soon enough. The phone calls Jack had received while Alex was at school were pretty intense, it struck fear through Jack more than ever before. He could never go home, never, he was in so much trouble and somehow he had to get out of Maryland and quick. If he left without Alex knowing, Alex would search for him and Alex would most likely be followed. He couldn’t go home, chances are he’d end up in hospital again. He couldn’t stay here, if Alex’s parents left, he was fucked, he was putting them both in danger just by staying here. This was the first and probably the only time Jack considered ending it all, he could handle himself being in trouble and in danger, but he couldn’t handle Alex having that burden too. He always thought he was a burden to Alex, he never was, Alex always confirmed he wasn’t, eased his mind, but he could never believe. He was putting so much pressure on Alex, he had to do everything; make up excuses, provide shelter and food, take Jack in and out of hospital, he always wondered if Alex found it too much to take. He always feared, more than anything else, Alex rejecting him, pushing him away, if he did, Jack would have no-one, not a soul to help him.
Jack found himself on the cold, tiled bathroom floor, huddled around himself and a bottle of random pills he picked from the medicine cabinet. He wanted too, he wanted to keep Alex safe, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to end it all, just get it over with. Instead all he could do was cry, cry himself into an abundance of fear and loathing. He had to pick himself up, he couldn’t let Alex find him laying here, it would only make him worry and that was the last thing he wanted to happen, he had never faced the wrath of Jack’s dad and to be honest, Jack hoped Alex never had to face that. Alex could scream profanities to the walls about how he wanted to make Jack’s dad suffer for the pain he’d caused his best friend so much pain, but it wouldn’t make a difference, he would never carry out his actions, they both knew that. Jack managed to stand and carry his weak form back to Alex’s room, dropping himself on the bed he’d spent all of his days in since he left hospital. That could soon change, in Jacks mind, he was sure Alex would send him home, that Alex would get fed up of the company and just take him home. Home not actually being his home, Alex’s was his home, where he actually lived, it was more of a prison or a dungeon, a place where he could be tortured profusely, to the point where his bones just would stop functioning. That could well happen and Jack shuddered at the thought of it, not being able to move, not being able to feel any pain. It was hard for him to take it all in.
When Alex arrived back, he came baring gifts, well coffee, one for Jack, the other for himself. Jack still hadn’t wiped the tears away from his previous shedding in the bathroom, of course he couldn’t tell Alex the truth, he had to make up a lie.
“Have you been crying,” Jack knew that question was coming, he could only not, Alex set down his drink, kissed him lightly and wiped away the drying tears on his reddened cheeks. “What’s wrong babe ?,” Jack shivered at the pet name, he could get used to that.
“I’m scared Alex, I don’t want to go home, I can’t”
“I’m not going to make you”
“I can’t stay here, not in Maryland”
“Can you wait a few more days ?”
“What do you mean ?”
“Spring vacation starts Friday, we could go on a road trip and never come back”
“What if we’re followed”
“We won’t be, I promise,” Alex smiled and Jack smiled back, believing Alex’s promise, yet still a little unsure. He was finally getting out of the place he hated, they could finally get away from the person that had caused so many problems in the teens’ lives over the years. When the boys had finished their coffee, the older, being Alex, called Zack and Rian over, they couldn’t leave those two behind. To be honest, this trip was the perfect opportunity to get away and start the band they had always desired to, they thought up the name, long ago, but they couldn’t pursue their dreams with everything that was happening with Jack. Alex made Jack his main priority and the band, well the band could be pushed aside until they were sure Jack was secure and could cope with being in the band. Now they all could, Jack would be secure in another state, it was just a choice of where to go and where they would stay. Alex had enough money kept away for an apartment and university, the money he had collected over the years, some his parents kindly donated every so often to ensure Alex would get the best future possible, others he had gained from birthdays and Christmas’, in which he didn’t get round to spending everything he was given, so he put it away for later.
Zack and Rian left quite late, they were all ready and set, they were all donating their own money to help fund their trip, they had decided they would go to Brooklyn, plainly because Jack definitely wouldn’t be found there. They’d get an apartment and try their luck with the band, they could only try, if they got shot down, they’d try again and again. Alex had never been more determined in his life and Jack was proud of his best friend, Alex had always put his dreams away as if they were unreachable and now he was actually trying to grab them. They had all decided what instrument they’d play, at the start of the band, they were changing positions all the time, they could never put a place on who was better at what, that was until they decided tonight. In the years since the band was pushed away, Rian had learned drums, Zack bass and Jack guitar. Jack had learned guitar through Alex, who would also play guitar and was nominated to sing. They were all set, they were pleased with their decisions and once they were away from Maryland, there was no turning back. They were taking the van that his dad used to use for work, it was big and spacious, it would fit them all in and would still have enough space for instruments. Alex informed his parents of the trip, they weren’t entirely happy but they were proud of Alex for wanting to do his own thing, like Jack was. Jack got some easy sleep that night, his dreams were normal dreams, not nightmares, his breathing was even and he was feeling a lot better than he had. All in all, everything was looking up for him and Alex.
Soon it was Spring vacation and they were ready to leave, they were all waiting for Alex to say his final goodbyes to his mom and dad before leaving. When he finally entered the van, Jack leaned over and kissed him hard, tongues clashing and dancing in the heat of the moment.
“Thank you,” Jack whispered when they parted.
“I couldn’t have you in danger,” they beamed at each other, they had forgotten about Zack and Rian, who were sitting in the back, mouths wide in shock.
“You owe me 10 bucks man”
“You bet we were together ?,” Alex piped up.
“Yeah, I lost 10 bucks too, why couldn’t you be straight ?,” they all laugh as Alex starts up the van, hearing it roar to life before backing out the driveway. They were gone, gone away from the town, from the state, off to start a new beginning, a safer more enticing start for all of them. One filled with so many new experiences, especially for Jack and Alex.
Author:conspiracy_xx
Rating:pg-13 for now
Pairing(s):jack/alex
Summary:“We keep ourselves a mystery”
Authors note: thank you to writtenaengel, for giving me the title :D
Dedications:dear angelica, since she is the whole reason i wrote this fic and since she came up with the scenario for the fic.
Previous Chapters: one| two| three| four| five| six| seven| eight
“We keep ourselves a mystery”
For the next week, Alex kept Jack hidden away, he was his best kept secret. No-one knew of their relationship and apart from the few who had visited Jack, no-one knew where Jack was either. They preferred it this way, it made them both safe, or so they thought they’d be safe. Jack was hiding something from Alex, Jack was petrified, thanks to his dad. Somehow his dad knew where he was, but he never threatened to come round, he wouldn’t kick up a fuss in front of people, no he’d wait for Jack to come home, he would soon enough. The phone calls Jack had received while Alex was at school were pretty intense, it struck fear through Jack more than ever before. He could never go home, never, he was in so much trouble and somehow he had to get out of Maryland and quick. If he left without Alex knowing, Alex would search for him and Alex would most likely be followed. He couldn’t go home, chances are he’d end up in hospital again. He couldn’t stay here, if Alex’s parents left, he was fucked, he was putting them both in danger just by staying here. This was the first and probably the only time Jack considered ending it all, he could handle himself being in trouble and in danger, but he couldn’t handle Alex having that burden too. He always thought he was a burden to Alex, he never was, Alex always confirmed he wasn’t, eased his mind, but he could never believe. He was putting so much pressure on Alex, he had to do everything; make up excuses, provide shelter and food, take Jack in and out of hospital, he always wondered if Alex found it too much to take. He always feared, more than anything else, Alex rejecting him, pushing him away, if he did, Jack would have no-one, not a soul to help him.
Jack found himself on the cold, tiled bathroom floor, huddled around himself and a bottle of random pills he picked from the medicine cabinet. He wanted too, he wanted to keep Alex safe, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to end it all, just get it over with. Instead all he could do was cry, cry himself into an abundance of fear and loathing. He had to pick himself up, he couldn’t let Alex find him laying here, it would only make him worry and that was the last thing he wanted to happen, he had never faced the wrath of Jack’s dad and to be honest, Jack hoped Alex never had to face that. Alex could scream profanities to the walls about how he wanted to make Jack’s dad suffer for the pain he’d caused his best friend so much pain, but it wouldn’t make a difference, he would never carry out his actions, they both knew that. Jack managed to stand and carry his weak form back to Alex’s room, dropping himself on the bed he’d spent all of his days in since he left hospital. That could soon change, in Jacks mind, he was sure Alex would send him home, that Alex would get fed up of the company and just take him home. Home not actually being his home, Alex’s was his home, where he actually lived, it was more of a prison or a dungeon, a place where he could be tortured profusely, to the point where his bones just would stop functioning. That could well happen and Jack shuddered at the thought of it, not being able to move, not being able to feel any pain. It was hard for him to take it all in.
When Alex arrived back, he came baring gifts, well coffee, one for Jack, the other for himself. Jack still hadn’t wiped the tears away from his previous shedding in the bathroom, of course he couldn’t tell Alex the truth, he had to make up a lie.
“Have you been crying,” Jack knew that question was coming, he could only not, Alex set down his drink, kissed him lightly and wiped away the drying tears on his reddened cheeks. “What’s wrong babe ?,” Jack shivered at the pet name, he could get used to that.
“I’m scared Alex, I don’t want to go home, I can’t”
“I’m not going to make you”
“I can’t stay here, not in Maryland”
“Can you wait a few more days ?”
“What do you mean ?”
“Spring vacation starts Friday, we could go on a road trip and never come back”
“What if we’re followed”
“We won’t be, I promise,” Alex smiled and Jack smiled back, believing Alex’s promise, yet still a little unsure. He was finally getting out of the place he hated, they could finally get away from the person that had caused so many problems in the teens’ lives over the years. When the boys had finished their coffee, the older, being Alex, called Zack and Rian over, they couldn’t leave those two behind. To be honest, this trip was the perfect opportunity to get away and start the band they had always desired to, they thought up the name, long ago, but they couldn’t pursue their dreams with everything that was happening with Jack. Alex made Jack his main priority and the band, well the band could be pushed aside until they were sure Jack was secure and could cope with being in the band. Now they all could, Jack would be secure in another state, it was just a choice of where to go and where they would stay. Alex had enough money kept away for an apartment and university, the money he had collected over the years, some his parents kindly donated every so often to ensure Alex would get the best future possible, others he had gained from birthdays and Christmas’, in which he didn’t get round to spending everything he was given, so he put it away for later.
Zack and Rian left quite late, they were all ready and set, they were all donating their own money to help fund their trip, they had decided they would go to Brooklyn, plainly because Jack definitely wouldn’t be found there. They’d get an apartment and try their luck with the band, they could only try, if they got shot down, they’d try again and again. Alex had never been more determined in his life and Jack was proud of his best friend, Alex had always put his dreams away as if they were unreachable and now he was actually trying to grab them. They had all decided what instrument they’d play, at the start of the band, they were changing positions all the time, they could never put a place on who was better at what, that was until they decided tonight. In the years since the band was pushed away, Rian had learned drums, Zack bass and Jack guitar. Jack had learned guitar through Alex, who would also play guitar and was nominated to sing. They were all set, they were pleased with their decisions and once they were away from Maryland, there was no turning back. They were taking the van that his dad used to use for work, it was big and spacious, it would fit them all in and would still have enough space for instruments. Alex informed his parents of the trip, they weren’t entirely happy but they were proud of Alex for wanting to do his own thing, like Jack was. Jack got some easy sleep that night, his dreams were normal dreams, not nightmares, his breathing was even and he was feeling a lot better than he had. All in all, everything was looking up for him and Alex.
Soon it was Spring vacation and they were ready to leave, they were all waiting for Alex to say his final goodbyes to his mom and dad before leaving. When he finally entered the van, Jack leaned over and kissed him hard, tongues clashing and dancing in the heat of the moment.
“Thank you,” Jack whispered when they parted.
“I couldn’t have you in danger,” they beamed at each other, they had forgotten about Zack and Rian, who were sitting in the back, mouths wide in shock.
“You owe me 10 bucks man”
“You bet we were together ?,” Alex piped up.
“Yeah, I lost 10 bucks too, why couldn’t you be straight ?,” they all laugh as Alex starts up the van, hearing it roar to life before backing out the driveway. They were gone, gone away from the town, from the state, off to start a new beginning, a safer more enticing start for all of them. One filled with so many new experiences, especially for Jack and Alex.