If You Don't Have a Hand to Hold
Part 4
Swear that you will never leave...
Pairing: Merrikat
Author: sorry_n0tsorry
Rating: NC-17 (this chapter PG-13)(for future chapter)
Disclaimer: I do not own Zack Merrick or Jack Barakat. AU fic.
Summery: Zack is a lost teenager who needs a home, Jack finds him.
A/N: I don't know if I'm happy about how this chapter turned out :/. Now I have like their feelings and stuff explained and next chapter will be a bit of a time skip. (With a lovely surprise c;) Hope you like it though. English is not my first language. So sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors. Please comment and let me know if this is worth to continue.
my tumblr: http://sorry-n0ts0rry.tumblr.com/
Masterpost
(After a few seconds Zack pulled away, he hoped the other man didn't wake up, so he wouldn't notice.
But then Jack opened his eyes...)
Jack's eyes were blown wide, he opened and closed his mouth a few times, not quite knowing what to say.
Zack looked like he was about to cry, he didn't mean to wake Jack. \
The teenager was about to open his mouth to speak but then Jack asked: "Why did you do that?"
"I-I..." Zack began, he couldn't just blurt out his feelings now. "I-I'm sorry." He started moving away. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It was a stupid idea."
"Zack!" Jack caught the younger boy's wrist before he could fully climb off the bed. "Don't be sorry, it's okay. Just, why did you do it?"
Jack was looking directly at Zack, the younger boy didn't know what to say. He tried to avoid the older man's glance by looking away.
"Do you like me, Zack?" Jack asked, still holding on to the other's wrist.
"I... uh," Zack bit his lip. What if Jack didn't like him? "Yes..."
Zack saw the older man's face lit up, a smile spread across his lips.
"I-I really like you Jack," Zack said, smiling too now. "When I came to you last night, it was because I was thinking about my patents. And about you. You're constantly on my mind, Jack," he confessed.
"I really like you too," the older man said.
Zack felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. Jack just said he liked him! He couldn't be happier right now.
"But," Jack spoke again, a sad tone in his voice. "We can't be together."
Zack's smile faded, now replaced by a sad and hurt expression. "W-why not?"
The older man sighed. "There is too much of an age-gap."
Zack didn't know what to do, be mad or cry. "Age is just a number," he managed to squeak out.
Jack could see the younger boy was close to tears. Did Zack really like him that much? "Zack," the older man spoke as he pulled the teenager to his chest. "You only know me for a bit more than a day."
Zack didn't say anything. He just buried his head in the other's chest and tried to swallow back his tears. Zack knew he had only just met Jack. But the older man had kind of saved his life. If Jack hadn't spotted him between the trash behind McDonalds he would still be sitting there. Or worse. Jack had been so nice to him yesterday, he comforted him when he cried about his parents, bought him new clothes and let him sleep in his bed. But the things the older man had done for him were not the only reason Zack liked him so much. He also felt a really strong attraction towards Jack, maybe even sexually.
Zack groaned, a single tear rolled over his cheek. Why wasn't he a bit older so they could be together. Life is so unfair.
"Hey, are you okay?" Jack's concerned voice snapped Zack out of his thoughts.
"Yeah," the young boy immediately mumbled into Jack's chest.
Jack lifted the younger boy's chin up, making Zack look into his big brown eyes. Jack noticed a tear on the teenager's cheek and wiped it away with his thumb. "You're crying, Zack. I can see you're not okay," he said, his voice soft.
Zack pulled away from the other's touch, he closed his eyes and shook his head. Zack let out a sigh, he swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking. "I-I... I'm just sorry for kissing you. I shouldn't have done that, I barely know you. A-and... But... but I really like you Jack, sorry." It didn't really add something to what he'd already said but Zack didn't know what else to say. He pulled away from Jack further. He climbed off the bed and walked towards the door. He needed some time to think.
"Zack!" Jack called after him. "Where're you going?!"
Zack didn't respond and just kept walking further away from the bedroom, into the living room.
"Zack!" Jack shouted again.
Zack heard the older man scramble to his feet before he heard him come running towards him. Jack's hand caught his wrist. "Zack, where are you going?"
Zack turned around, he looked at the other with tear strained eyes. Jack pulled him to his chest. "You don't have to leave," he said, sounding sad and maybe somewhat disappointed. "Please don't leave."
Zack still didn't speak, tears were streaming down his cheeks. He sobbed against Jack's chest. He felt sorry for his behavior, if he hadn't been so stupid to kiss Jack this all wouldn't have happened. He had only made things worse, now Jack must think he wants to leave him. Zack still wanted to stay with the older man for a long time. He was just a stupid teenager who had not much experience with this kind of things.
"Zack, please say something," Jack spoke with a soft tone in his voice.
Zack took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't want to leave you," he said through sobs.
The other male let out a relieved sigh. "I was afraid that you thought you had to leave. I'd never just kick you out because you kissed me," Jack mumbled into the other boy's hair while he kissed the top of his head.
They stood like this for a little while, Jack just held the younger boy close. Zack had stopped crying by now.
"Sorry for crying so much," Zack spoke.
"It's okay," Jack said as he pulled away from the younger male and guided him to the couch. "I get that you're a bit emotional. You're going through a lot of shit man."
The both sat down on the couch.
Zack was staring at the floor and Jack was watching the teenager's face.
He liked the other boy a lot too but was scared of him getting hurt. Jack didn't want to get too attached because the other boy would eventually leave him and go on with his own life. And if Zack's parents didn't even approve him being gay than they would definitely kill Zack if he started dating Jack. He didn't want him to leave though. He just wanted Zack to think a bit longer and give all this some more time. They only knew each other for briefly a day. And in Jack's eyes Zack deserved so much more and better than him.
"You want breakfast?" Jack eventually asked after he'd snapped himself out of his thoughts.
Zack nodded.
Jack came back with some cereal, Zack took it from him and they both ate in silence on the couch.
"Zack?" Jack asked after he'd swallowed down the last bit of food in his bowl. "I'm not kicking you out, don't worry. But I just want to ask you to think about it, give yourself some time, try to figure out your feelings, and get to know me a bit better. Because you deserve so much more than just me."
Zack looked up at the older man, he hadn't expected these words. "Jack," he said, swallowing a lump that had just formed in his throat. "You are honestly all I could ever ask for."