Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (3/?)
Title: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Chapter Three)
Author: hihunter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex (Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth)
Summary: There isn’t a reason for it, I can’t point my finger on why it consumes my brain every second.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone... But belongs to Motion City Soundtrack
Warning: Deals with OCD, obviously.
Author's Notes: I can barely get through these chapters cause I’m so excited for chapter five, but I’m trying to write as much as possible with all of my practices.
Masterpost
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I walked into my high school with my head down, like always. I didn’t like to stare into people’s eyes, I hated the looks they gave me. People at my school thought I was crazy. I was always staring into space, never looking at or talking to anyone, I had nervous twitches sometimes. I wish they would understand that usually it was their fault I was this way in the first place. The whispers, the taunting.
Hey, Gaskarth. Whispering to yourself again?
I wish I could tell them that the only reason I don’t talk to them is because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of anything and everything. I’m afraid of losing people, of the nightmares, even something as stupid as to not being able to touch something twice. Everything terrifies me all the time.
“Alex, hey,” a tentative voice said behind me.
I jumped up, almost dropping my books, and turned around. Jack was there, with an almost guilty look on his face.
“Sorry I scared you,” he said, scratching his arm and giving me a sheepish smile.
I shrugged, not finding words. I didn’t really want to talk to him, give him another reason to not like me. I’m almost positive after yesterday he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t want to yell at him like that, I really didn’t, but I couldn’t help it. He had almost touched my guitar. And I couldn’t clean it like everything else, it was my baby. It was the only thing that ever calmed me down.
“I was just wondering if you could show me around, like our parents said,” his said, getting a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolding it. He gave it to me to hold, but I just stared at it. He turned it around and held it out in front of me so I could see it.
“You-You have a lot classes with me. First, second, lunch, sixth, and seventh,” I told him, pointing at the classes, but not touching the paper.
“Then I’ll just follow you if that’s alright,” he said, still as reluctant. I think I had scared him last night, which was expected.
I nodded, “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“So where do you sit?” Jack asked as we walked down the hall.
I didn’t understand what he meant until I realized he probably thought we were going to the cafeteria. “Oh, I don’t eat in there,” I said right as we passed the cafeteria. I expected to go in, leave until afterwards when he needed to find his next class even though I’ve already pointed it out to him. I noticed he was a little out of it sometimes. By no means was he stupid, he was in all AP classes with me, but it was like he needed reassurance all the time.
“Where do you eat then?” he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.
“In here,” I nodded as we reached the library. “The librarian’s pretty cool and she’s always let me if I clean up after myself.”
“Oh,” was all he replied with, opening the door for both of us. He was like that, always doing the right thing- the nice thing- for me. It was charming really, he must have been raised well.
I walked in, waiting for him behind me, before sitting down at one of the many tables. I set my backpack down and pulled out the brown paper sack I had packed this morning.
“I have one problem with this,” Jack said, sitting across from me.
“What?” I asked, setting down a paper towel before taking out the chips, sandwich, and water bottle.
“I didn’t bring my lunch,” he replied, giving me a little smile.
I couldn’t help but let the corners of my mouth curve a little as I said, “Well, no lunch for you.”
His lip jut out in a mock pout. “Come on, that sandwich looks really tasty.”
I laughed and split it in half as best as I could. “I hope you like PB&J,” I told him, dropping it in front of him.
“Oh, Alex! You didn’t have to do that,” he said sarcastically, taking a huge bite of it before laughing.
I scrunched up my nose in disgust, “Don’t laugh with your mouth full.”
“Sorry,” he said, getting an innocent look on his face before taking another bite.
I rolled my eyes and took a small bite of my own half. This wasn’t like me at all; I never did this, especially for strangers. It was a strange feeling, but not necessarily a bad one.
“Thanks for showing me around today, I appreciate it,” Jack said quietly, breaking the silence of our walk home.
“No problem,” I mumbled back, my eyes focusing on the concrete beneath my feet.
“And I-I’m, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t realize-I didn’t know you were touchy about the guitar,” he said.
It was the completely wrong thing to say right now. “It’s not just the guitar, Jack. It’s everything,” I told him, not really planning on saying anything else after that. I didn’t want him to think I was a freak like everyone else did. I didn’t want to hear his voice whispering behind my back.
“What do you mean?” he asked, obviously confused by my brief answer.
I just kept my head down. 162, 163, 164. I figured that I could just count really loud in my brain to get everything else to shut up.
“Alex?” he tried again, but I was so far gone that he really had no chance at this point. “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath.
That was wrong, he shouldn’t be saying sorry. This thing was my fault, not his. If only I could’ve opened my mouth to tell him that.
186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192.
Author: hihunter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex (Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth)
Summary: There isn’t a reason for it, I can’t point my finger on why it consumes my brain every second.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone... But belongs to Motion City Soundtrack
Warning: Deals with OCD, obviously.
Author's Notes: I can barely get through these chapters cause I’m so excited for chapter five, but I’m trying to write as much as possible with all of my practices.
Masterpost
Tumblr
I walked into my high school with my head down, like always. I didn’t like to stare into people’s eyes, I hated the looks they gave me. People at my school thought I was crazy. I was always staring into space, never looking at or talking to anyone, I had nervous twitches sometimes. I wish they would understand that usually it was their fault I was this way in the first place. The whispers, the taunting.
Hey, Gaskarth. Whispering to yourself again?
I wish I could tell them that the only reason I don’t talk to them is because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of anything and everything. I’m afraid of losing people, of the nightmares, even something as stupid as to not being able to touch something twice. Everything terrifies me all the time.
“Alex, hey,” a tentative voice said behind me.
I jumped up, almost dropping my books, and turned around. Jack was there, with an almost guilty look on his face.
“Sorry I scared you,” he said, scratching his arm and giving me a sheepish smile.
I shrugged, not finding words. I didn’t really want to talk to him, give him another reason to not like me. I’m almost positive after yesterday he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t want to yell at him like that, I really didn’t, but I couldn’t help it. He had almost touched my guitar. And I couldn’t clean it like everything else, it was my baby. It was the only thing that ever calmed me down.
“I was just wondering if you could show me around, like our parents said,” his said, getting a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolding it. He gave it to me to hold, but I just stared at it. He turned it around and held it out in front of me so I could see it.
“You-You have a lot classes with me. First, second, lunch, sixth, and seventh,” I told him, pointing at the classes, but not touching the paper.
“Then I’ll just follow you if that’s alright,” he said, still as reluctant. I think I had scared him last night, which was expected.
I nodded, “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“So where do you sit?” Jack asked as we walked down the hall.
I didn’t understand what he meant until I realized he probably thought we were going to the cafeteria. “Oh, I don’t eat in there,” I said right as we passed the cafeteria. I expected to go in, leave until afterwards when he needed to find his next class even though I’ve already pointed it out to him. I noticed he was a little out of it sometimes. By no means was he stupid, he was in all AP classes with me, but it was like he needed reassurance all the time.
“Where do you eat then?” he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.
“In here,” I nodded as we reached the library. “The librarian’s pretty cool and she’s always let me if I clean up after myself.”
“Oh,” was all he replied with, opening the door for both of us. He was like that, always doing the right thing- the nice thing- for me. It was charming really, he must have been raised well.
I walked in, waiting for him behind me, before sitting down at one of the many tables. I set my backpack down and pulled out the brown paper sack I had packed this morning.
“I have one problem with this,” Jack said, sitting across from me.
“What?” I asked, setting down a paper towel before taking out the chips, sandwich, and water bottle.
“I didn’t bring my lunch,” he replied, giving me a little smile.
I couldn’t help but let the corners of my mouth curve a little as I said, “Well, no lunch for you.”
His lip jut out in a mock pout. “Come on, that sandwich looks really tasty.”
I laughed and split it in half as best as I could. “I hope you like PB&J,” I told him, dropping it in front of him.
“Oh, Alex! You didn’t have to do that,” he said sarcastically, taking a huge bite of it before laughing.
I scrunched up my nose in disgust, “Don’t laugh with your mouth full.”
“Sorry,” he said, getting an innocent look on his face before taking another bite.
I rolled my eyes and took a small bite of my own half. This wasn’t like me at all; I never did this, especially for strangers. It was a strange feeling, but not necessarily a bad one.
“Thanks for showing me around today, I appreciate it,” Jack said quietly, breaking the silence of our walk home.
“No problem,” I mumbled back, my eyes focusing on the concrete beneath my feet.
“And I-I’m, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t realize-I didn’t know you were touchy about the guitar,” he said.
It was the completely wrong thing to say right now. “It’s not just the guitar, Jack. It’s everything,” I told him, not really planning on saying anything else after that. I didn’t want him to think I was a freak like everyone else did. I didn’t want to hear his voice whispering behind my back.
“What do you mean?” he asked, obviously confused by my brief answer.
I just kept my head down. 162, 163, 164. I figured that I could just count really loud in my brain to get everything else to shut up.
“Alex?” he tried again, but I was so far gone that he really had no chance at this point. “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath.
That was wrong, he shouldn’t be saying sorry. This thing was my fault, not his. If only I could’ve opened my mouth to tell him that.
186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192.