I Walk a Fine Line (Between The Right and The Real)
Title: I Walk a Fine Line [9/20]
Author: 23a_j10
Beta: therapyrequired
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth + Jack Barakat.
Rating: R/NC-17: Overall.
Warnings: I wouldn't recommend reading this if you're subject to OCD in any form. Mental illness, and self-harm.
Summary: When the only thing Alex believes in is killing him and the only thing Jack believes in is love can the two save each other from their unhealthy and unrealistic lives.
Disclaimer: I don't know/own All Time Low.
P.O.V.: Third
Dedications: To my beta because she's a great writer.
Author's notes: Thank you for commenting and showing interest in this story, the comments always make me smile :)
“Hey!” An angry males voice slices the boy’s laugher short. Josh looks up from his cowering prize.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Alex cranes his neck and looks around them, to see the boy from the coffee shop striding towards them.
“H-hey Zack we’re just playing with him, y’know having a bit of fun li-” Max rambles taking a step back from Alex.
“Does he look like he’s having fun Max? Seriously, take your pathetic friends and leave” Zack spits at the younger boy.
“C’mon guys let’s go...” Max ducks his head and makes a move to leave.
“No way, it’s five against two and this little pansy here isn’t going to up much of a fight. In fact he likes the pain, don’t you Alex?” Josh chuckles darkly at Alex. He then wrenches the victims’ arm from Chris’ grip, yanked up his sleeve to show the cluster of ageing cuts and scars.
“Get of here now!” Zack roars at them so aggressively, thankfully he gets no verbal abuse in the form of a response, just the departure of the five unwanted teenagers. Alex stares after Josh and his friends before hastily pulling down his sleeve over his arm.
“Are you okay?” Zack asks the trembling boy in front of him, using the kindest tone he can manage against the anger searing through his gut. Alex nods and holds his arms across his stomach, he takes a step forward but Zack stops him.
“Do you really think I’m gonna let you walk home alone after that?” Zack shakes his head, “Come on, you came here for coffee didn’t you?”
Alex sits in the near-empty coffee shop with Zack watching him carefully.
“Max is my cousin. My stupid little cousin who’s got douchebag friends. They won’t bother you again Alex, sorry.” Zack explains and feels like an apology is necessary on behalf of his family member, even though he knew Max probably wasn’t sorry at all. Only for getting caught that is. Alex doesn’t answer, he seems to be fixated by his coffee cup. Zack bites his lip.
“Aren’t you a little too younger to be out at 2AM on your own?”
“Yes, I probably am but you won’t let me leave.”
“Don’t you belong to someone who can pick you up?”
“I have parents, yes, but they’re own of town.”
“Let me drive you home then. I finished five minutes ago?” Zack offers.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
“Then yes, you can drive me home.”
“C’mon” Zack nods his head towards the door and Alex follows quietly. They find Zack’s car and both get in; the elder turns on the radio, which mumbles into the silence.
“Thank you.” Alex glances over at the bigger boy who smiles in response.
“That’s okay. I don’t know why they cornered you, you seem like a nice guy.”
Alex has never wished he taken more notice to a person’s name in his life. He was pretty sure his cousin Max had said it earlier but...
“Which one is yours?” Zack interjects Alex’s thoughts.
“Oh, it’s left here then the second house on the right” Alex directs, “Sorry, I can’t remember your name, what was it?”
“Zack, Zack Merrick.”
“Thank you Zack” Alex thanks his savior once again as they come to stop. Alex hops out the car and walks over to stand under his window. Zack voice startles him,
“You know most kids use the door.”
“Shi-Zack! You scared me!” Alex exclaims as he turns so see the other grinning.
“Why aren’t you using the door? You do live here, right?”
“Yes I live here I just lose keys and forget to lock the door all the time so I use the window.” Alex states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Zack just grins some more and offers’ some advice.
“Okay, see you kid. Stay outta trouble I might not be around next time.” With that he gets back in his car and watches Alex climb on the dustbin and heave himself easily through the window. So what? Yeah… maybe Zack does have a crush on the younger boy.
Alex pulls the pane of glass down behind him, then sits curled underneath it. Feelings begin to drip back into his brain. His knee’s brought up to his chest in defense. His hand finds the phone and his fingers find Jack’s number. He holds the Cell to his ear and listens to the dull rings;
One,
Two,
Three,
Four.
“Heh-lo...” Jack mumbles sleepily.
“I. Uhm... I’m, didn’t-”
“Alex?” The younger boy could recognize that voice anywhere, but he had just been asleep for sometime so…
“...Y-yeah... I’m sorry. I. Uh.”
“It’s okay, what’s wrong?” Jack sits up and rubs his eyes, glancing over to the clock that reads 02:26, “Why are you up it’s like half two in the morning?”
“I...”
“Alex?” Jack sounds more concerned, as the elder boy seems unable to find his words.
Silence.
“Alex if you don’t answer I’m coming over you’re scaring me.”
“I...”
“Okay, I’m staying on the line but I’m coming over. Please just stay where you are and don’t hurt yourself.” Jack stands up as quietly as he can, not wanting to wake his Mom in the process. He pulls a t-shirt over his head, shortly followed by a hoodie.
“Alex, you still there?” Jack tiptoes down the stairs and eases the down gradient slowly.
“Y-yea...I-”
“It’s okay, I’ll be there soon, just, just don’t hang up.” Jack has the door shut and is halfway down his street in moments. He sprints his way there; still listening to the line, desperate to see if Alex’s uneven breaths steady out but the blood pumping in his ears is preventing him. He reaches Alex’s house in around five minutes.
“Is the door open?”
“I...I d-don’t know...”
“Okay, wait there...” Jack tries the handle and sure enough it’s open. He makes a mental note to ensure to remind Alex to lock it in future, where the hell were his parents anyway? Jack scales the stairs two a time and pushes Alex’s door open to see him sat directly underneath his window. Jack swallows audibly, the lump of worry in his throat. He hangs up the phone although Alex still clings on to his, which is still pressed to his ear.
“What’s the matter Alex? What happened?” Jack crosses the floor and kneels in front of Alex who his quaking gently in his own skin. Jack bites his lip and reaches to take Alex’s phone from his whitening knuckles. The elder lets him, then he wraps both arms around his legs and pulls himself into an even tighter ball of nerves. Jack decides talking is getting him no where so he just sits cross-legged in front of his friend and waits patiently for him to make the first move.
Minutes pass slowly and Jack isn’t sure how long he’s been sitting there when Alex speaks.
“S-sorry for calling you...” His voice is shaky.
“I’m glad you called me, I care about you Alex” Jack reassures him.
“I went out because I couldn’t sleep and these boys who go to our school stopped me and...”
“Did they hurt you?” Jack asks alarmed, raking his eyes all over Alex to check for any signs that someone has hurt his friend.
“No... But they were going to. I don’t know what t-they were going to do but...”
“I’m so sorry, what happened?”
“I... I was just crossing the road and someone called out and I. I just thought it wasn’t to me. B-but it was. It was Josh and h-he’s like... Got all these friends and they just like hurting and demeaning people f-for fun and he came over to me and put his arm around me and a-asked about you?”
“About me?”
“Yeah, I... I d-don’t know what he wanted but I knew i-it was bad. I think I m-must have said something wrong because b-before we got to the coffee shop two of his friends were holding b-back my arms a-and-”
“Are you sure they didn’t hurt you?” Jack presses, he’s never seen someone look so shaken before, but Alex shakes his head.
“The b-boy from the coffee shop c-came out and he knew one of the guys. He told t-them to leave me a-alone but Josh pulled up my sleeve before Zack could s-stop him...”
Oh. And Jack got it.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
Alex laughs bitterly; the sound lingers in the quiet.
“Why would you be here in the middle of the night?”
“I’m here now. Aren’t I?”
Alex glances up and sees Jack’s brown eyes filled with concern and sadness.
“Thank you Jack.” Sincerity rings clear in Alex’s voice.
“Don’t thank me, I’m just so glad you rang me and didn’t stay here alone.” Jack shuffles forwards and places his cold hands on top of Alex’s. Alex looks up from under his newly dyed hair and smiles weakly, linking his fingers with Jack’s in response.
“You know I wasn’t lying when I told your Mom you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Alex says quietly.
“She wasn’t lying either, you’re by far the most amazing person in my life.” Jack admits and Alex holds his hands just that little tighter.
“Will you stay here please?” Alex blinks his wide eyes, his hair kind of falling over his face and Jack just can’t say no, who could?
“Of course. But we’re not sleeping on the floor move your ass Gaskarth.”
Chapter 10
Author: 23a_j10
Beta: therapyrequired
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth + Jack Barakat.
Rating: R/NC-17: Overall.
Warnings: I wouldn't recommend reading this if you're subject to OCD in any form. Mental illness, and self-harm.
Summary: When the only thing Alex believes in is killing him and the only thing Jack believes in is love can the two save each other from their unhealthy and unrealistic lives.
Disclaimer: I don't know/own All Time Low.
P.O.V.: Third
Dedications: To my beta because she's a great writer.
Author's notes: Thank you for commenting and showing interest in this story, the comments always make me smile :)
“Hey!” An angry males voice slices the boy’s laugher short. Josh looks up from his cowering prize.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Alex cranes his neck and looks around them, to see the boy from the coffee shop striding towards them.
“H-hey Zack we’re just playing with him, y’know having a bit of fun li-” Max rambles taking a step back from Alex.
“Does he look like he’s having fun Max? Seriously, take your pathetic friends and leave” Zack spits at the younger boy.
“C’mon guys let’s go...” Max ducks his head and makes a move to leave.
“No way, it’s five against two and this little pansy here isn’t going to up much of a fight. In fact he likes the pain, don’t you Alex?” Josh chuckles darkly at Alex. He then wrenches the victims’ arm from Chris’ grip, yanked up his sleeve to show the cluster of ageing cuts and scars.
“Get of here now!” Zack roars at them so aggressively, thankfully he gets no verbal abuse in the form of a response, just the departure of the five unwanted teenagers. Alex stares after Josh and his friends before hastily pulling down his sleeve over his arm.
“Are you okay?” Zack asks the trembling boy in front of him, using the kindest tone he can manage against the anger searing through his gut. Alex nods and holds his arms across his stomach, he takes a step forward but Zack stops him.
“Do you really think I’m gonna let you walk home alone after that?” Zack shakes his head, “Come on, you came here for coffee didn’t you?”
Alex sits in the near-empty coffee shop with Zack watching him carefully.
“Max is my cousin. My stupid little cousin who’s got douchebag friends. They won’t bother you again Alex, sorry.” Zack explains and feels like an apology is necessary on behalf of his family member, even though he knew Max probably wasn’t sorry at all. Only for getting caught that is. Alex doesn’t answer, he seems to be fixated by his coffee cup. Zack bites his lip.
“Aren’t you a little too younger to be out at 2AM on your own?”
“Yes, I probably am but you won’t let me leave.”
“Don’t you belong to someone who can pick you up?”
“I have parents, yes, but they’re own of town.”
“Let me drive you home then. I finished five minutes ago?” Zack offers.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
“Then yes, you can drive me home.”
“C’mon” Zack nods his head towards the door and Alex follows quietly. They find Zack’s car and both get in; the elder turns on the radio, which mumbles into the silence.
“Thank you.” Alex glances over at the bigger boy who smiles in response.
“That’s okay. I don’t know why they cornered you, you seem like a nice guy.”
Alex has never wished he taken more notice to a person’s name in his life. He was pretty sure his cousin Max had said it earlier but...
“Which one is yours?” Zack interjects Alex’s thoughts.
“Oh, it’s left here then the second house on the right” Alex directs, “Sorry, I can’t remember your name, what was it?”
“Zack, Zack Merrick.”
“Thank you Zack” Alex thanks his savior once again as they come to stop. Alex hops out the car and walks over to stand under his window. Zack voice startles him,
“You know most kids use the door.”
“Shi-Zack! You scared me!” Alex exclaims as he turns so see the other grinning.
“Why aren’t you using the door? You do live here, right?”
“Yes I live here I just lose keys and forget to lock the door all the time so I use the window.” Alex states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Zack just grins some more and offers’ some advice.
“Okay, see you kid. Stay outta trouble I might not be around next time.” With that he gets back in his car and watches Alex climb on the dustbin and heave himself easily through the window. So what? Yeah… maybe Zack does have a crush on the younger boy.
Alex pulls the pane of glass down behind him, then sits curled underneath it. Feelings begin to drip back into his brain. His knee’s brought up to his chest in defense. His hand finds the phone and his fingers find Jack’s number. He holds the Cell to his ear and listens to the dull rings;
One,
Two,
Three,
Four.
“Heh-lo...” Jack mumbles sleepily.
“I. Uhm... I’m, didn’t-”
“Alex?” The younger boy could recognize that voice anywhere, but he had just been asleep for sometime so…
“...Y-yeah... I’m sorry. I. Uh.”
“It’s okay, what’s wrong?” Jack sits up and rubs his eyes, glancing over to the clock that reads 02:26, “Why are you up it’s like half two in the morning?”
“I...”
“Alex?” Jack sounds more concerned, as the elder boy seems unable to find his words.
Silence.
“Alex if you don’t answer I’m coming over you’re scaring me.”
“I...”
“Okay, I’m staying on the line but I’m coming over. Please just stay where you are and don’t hurt yourself.” Jack stands up as quietly as he can, not wanting to wake his Mom in the process. He pulls a t-shirt over his head, shortly followed by a hoodie.
“Alex, you still there?” Jack tiptoes down the stairs and eases the down gradient slowly.
“Y-yea...I-”
“It’s okay, I’ll be there soon, just, just don’t hang up.” Jack has the door shut and is halfway down his street in moments. He sprints his way there; still listening to the line, desperate to see if Alex’s uneven breaths steady out but the blood pumping in his ears is preventing him. He reaches Alex’s house in around five minutes.
“Is the door open?”
“I...I d-don’t know...”
“Okay, wait there...” Jack tries the handle and sure enough it’s open. He makes a mental note to ensure to remind Alex to lock it in future, where the hell were his parents anyway? Jack scales the stairs two a time and pushes Alex’s door open to see him sat directly underneath his window. Jack swallows audibly, the lump of worry in his throat. He hangs up the phone although Alex still clings on to his, which is still pressed to his ear.
“What’s the matter Alex? What happened?” Jack crosses the floor and kneels in front of Alex who his quaking gently in his own skin. Jack bites his lip and reaches to take Alex’s phone from his whitening knuckles. The elder lets him, then he wraps both arms around his legs and pulls himself into an even tighter ball of nerves. Jack decides talking is getting him no where so he just sits cross-legged in front of his friend and waits patiently for him to make the first move.
Minutes pass slowly and Jack isn’t sure how long he’s been sitting there when Alex speaks.
“S-sorry for calling you...” His voice is shaky.
“I’m glad you called me, I care about you Alex” Jack reassures him.
“I went out because I couldn’t sleep and these boys who go to our school stopped me and...”
“Did they hurt you?” Jack asks alarmed, raking his eyes all over Alex to check for any signs that someone has hurt his friend.
“No... But they were going to. I don’t know what t-they were going to do but...”
“I’m so sorry, what happened?”
“I... I was just crossing the road and someone called out and I. I just thought it wasn’t to me. B-but it was. It was Josh and h-he’s like... Got all these friends and they just like hurting and demeaning people f-for fun and he came over to me and put his arm around me and a-asked about you?”
“About me?”
“Yeah, I... I d-don’t know what he wanted but I knew i-it was bad. I think I m-must have said something wrong because b-before we got to the coffee shop two of his friends were holding b-back my arms a-and-”
“Are you sure they didn’t hurt you?” Jack presses, he’s never seen someone look so shaken before, but Alex shakes his head.
“The b-boy from the coffee shop c-came out and he knew one of the guys. He told t-them to leave me a-alone but Josh pulled up my sleeve before Zack could s-stop him...”
Oh. And Jack got it.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
Alex laughs bitterly; the sound lingers in the quiet.
“Why would you be here in the middle of the night?”
“I’m here now. Aren’t I?”
Alex glances up and sees Jack’s brown eyes filled with concern and sadness.
“Thank you Jack.” Sincerity rings clear in Alex’s voice.
“Don’t thank me, I’m just so glad you rang me and didn’t stay here alone.” Jack shuffles forwards and places his cold hands on top of Alex’s. Alex looks up from under his newly dyed hair and smiles weakly, linking his fingers with Jack’s in response.
“You know I wasn’t lying when I told your Mom you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Alex says quietly.
“She wasn’t lying either, you’re by far the most amazing person in my life.” Jack admits and Alex holds his hands just that little tighter.
“Will you stay here please?” Alex blinks his wide eyes, his hair kind of falling over his face and Jack just can’t say no, who could?
“Of course. But we’re not sleeping on the floor move your ass Gaskarth.”
Chapter 10