You Hit Like a Girl (10/?)
Title: You Hit Like a Girl (10/?)
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: eventual Quinn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel friendship
Spoilers: Season 1 compliant, AU Season 2.
Summary: The summer after her sophomore year, Rachel Berry has three goals: 1. Prepare for Glee 2. Befriend Quinn Fabray 3. Create a Lasting Romance with Finn Hudson. By the fourth week of summer she’s completely failed two of them. Now what is she supposed to do?
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rachel was in a foul mood when she woke up and she felt like she hadn’t slept at all. Instead of getting up, she buried her head under her pillow and tried to breathe. It was hard for her to believe that the events of the previous night had really occurred. She had never felt so emotionally or physically out of control before. Thinking back on it, she and Puck should have known something bad was going to come out of their innuendos. Rachel had expected maybe a few poorly spelled and articulated texts from Finn and another verbal confrontation with Kurt. She didn’t regret what they did. Kurt was too nosey for his own good and he would look ridiculous when people figured out that they weren’t dating. And, it had been fun trying to stay true to the discussion about football pads and tackling experiences while making it sound as dirty as possible. It was a challenge and they had met it spectacularly. But then Finn had to be there and open his big mouth. Rachel would not stand to have anyone bad mouth her bro. Noah may have had a sordid past, as far as the glee clubbers were concerned, but that didn’t mean they could get away with treating them like that. She understood what Puck meant when he said Finn got everything without deserving it. He had everyone’s support and trust and he was nothing but a coward who thought everything anyone did revolved around himself. And then to see Quinn…
Pain shot through Rachel’s chest. It had been so confusing for Rachel to see Quinn standing there looking at her with the same fire in her eyes as she did when she usually caught Rachel with Puck. How could Quinn look at her like that as if she hadn’t walked away and ignored Rachel for the past five days? How could she go insane when Puck so much as looked at her, but not say a word when Finn said those horrible things? Quinn knew they weren’t sleeping together. How could she not after Rachel’s confession? And then Rachel had realized that Quinn had been with Finn, and Kurt and Mercedes, but with Finn, and Rachel had exploded. She’d wanted to hurt Finn before, but once the jealousy had coursed through her, she had really wanted to hurt him. She had never before been so close to physically harming someone out of anger. And she would have, if Puck hadn’t have been there and inadvertently reminded her of their agreement not to kick anyone’s ass. She had to leave, had to storm out or she would have done something that would have gotten her arrested. Especially after Finn implied that he could have Quinn if he wanted to.
Rachel knew that Quinn probably hadn’t been on a date with Finn, but just the fact that she was there with him at all when she had been ignoring Rachel for almost a week had hurt. The pain made her irrational. Everything about Quinn made her irrational, so she ignored Quinn’s texts. She didn’t want to say something that she really regretted. And, it was hard for Rachel for Quinn to go from paying her no attention to lots of attention, back to no attention, and then back to texting Rachel like she really did care. It made Rachel feel like a yoyo, a little toy, continually being thrown away and pulled back. A part of her didn’t respond to Quinn because then maybe she would finally know what Rachel felt like all summer. Rachel wanted Quinn more, and more genuinely, than she had ever wanted anybody else and she didn’t know how much more she could take.
The brunette sat up slowly and eyed her phone warily. She wasn’t sure if she should even turn it on. She took a breath and hit the power button, her eyes quickly scanning through the text messages.
Quinn: Rachel.
Mercedes: That little diva fit reminded me why I didn’t want to see you this summer.
Quinn: Rachel Berry.
Finn: I stll cr abt u
Quinn: Rachel Barbra Berry!
Kurt: We’re just trying to think about glee club. Don’t mope around when Puck breaks your heart. You’ll get what you deserve.
Quinn: That’s it, I’m coming to your house.
Puck: It’ll be okay, Superstar, I promise.
Quinn: Fine, Rachel, just fine.
Rachel rubbed at her eyes. This was such a mess. Were everyone else’s lives normally so dramatic, or was it some kind of weird side effect from too much Broadway (not that Rachel was entirely sure that was possible)? Part of her wanted to text Quinn and apologize for her behavior, explain herself, but she wanted an apology too. She wanted Quinn to explain things to her, too. Rachel was unsure about a lot when it came to Quinn, but she knew she needed to stand up for herself. Maybe just a simple “good morning” would do? Rachel shook her head. She needed breakfast before she could deal with this and it was already past 8:30. She was surprised her father hadn’t tried to wake her up; he was normally so punctual when it came to breakfast. She figured there must have been an emergency at the hospital and he’d had to leave early.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she paused. She heard her dad’s voice coming from the kitchen, so he was definitely home. Maybe he’d gotten busy on the telephone or maybe her daddy decided to take the day off of work. Rachel yawned and tried to force her body to relax. She didn’t want to play twenty questions with him this morning.
She pushed open the door of her kitchen and stopped abruptly. Her palms began to sweat and she tried to refrain from gaping like a fish, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t working. Breakfast for three was set at the table and it looked like it had gone cold. Her dad wasn’t on the phone, he was sitting at the table with one of the family photo albums positively gushing (“And she was four in this one. Look how adorable she is dressed up as Rumpleteazer.”) over her pictures. Sitting next to him with an amused smile on her face was Quinn Fabray. She looked tired. Her hair was in a messy, loose pony tail and it looked as if she’d just thrown on whatever was laying around and came over. Quinn looked perfectly at ease sitting at her table and it made Rachel’s stomach flip.
Hiram was the first to notice her and he smiled cheerfully, “Good morning, pumpkin. We were beginning to think you weren’t going to get up at all.”
Quinn’s smile turned into a smirk.
Rachel licked her lips, ‘Good morning, Dad. Good morning, Quinn.”
“Good morning, Rachel.”
If Hiram noticed the tension in the room, he didn’t show it. “Quinn came knocking at 7:30, just as I was getting ready to start breakfast. I brought out the photo album so she’d have something to do while she waited for you. I’m sure she didn’t want to listen to me jabber about medical terms.”
Rachel tore her gaze away from Quinn and looked at her father. She put her hands on her hips, “Dad, I don’t think it’s typical protocol to show one’s childhood pictures without a request being given by the guest and the express permission granted by the person whose photographs are being shown.”
Quinn raised her eyebrow. Hiram shook his head, “Nonsense, Rachel. Quinn’s enjoying them, aren’t you, Quinn?”
“Yes, sir. Very much.”
Rachel fought the urge to stomp her feet. Damn her. She was acting completely calm and Rachel felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin. It was like she was in some strange parallel universe where her dad thought it was completely normal for Quinn to show up for breakfast and completely normal to show someone who had, up until five days ago, essentially been stalking Rachel her private memories. She was going to have to watch him when she became famous. Who knows what crazed fan he’d let into the house.
“Sit down, pumpkin, eat your breakfast.”
Rachel sat down slowly across from Quinn, eyeing her warily. What was she doing here? What did she want? Was she going to do something besides smirk and look through Rachel’s pictures? Currently, she was completely avoiding Rachel’s gazed, studiously flipping through the photo album. Every once in a while her eyebrow would twitch or her lips would quirk. It was driving Rachel crazy.
Finally Hiram cleared his throat, “Well, girls, I have to get going to work. It was good to see you again, Quinn.”
Quinn smiled, “You too, Dr. Berry.”
“Bye, Dad,” Rachel grumbled.
He leaned down to hug her and whispered in her ear, “Whatever it is, work it out.”
Rachel stared after him. When she head the front door close, she turned back to Quinn, who was still flipping through the photo album slowly, deliberately. Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times. She clenched and unclenched her hands and then she took a deep breath. If Quinn wanted to play the silent game, they would play the silent game. Ten minutes later, Rachel was biting her tongue and Quinn was still looking at pictures. Rachel was this close to grabbing the book and flinging it across the room. Then Rachel decided that it wasn’t Quinn’s turn to pick the game. She pushed her breakfast away and folded her arms across her chest.
“What are you doing here, Quinn?”
“Looking at you,” She lifted the photo album, “Apparently you really are some kind of dancing ninja. And you lied, you have been naked with Puckerman.” Quinn flipped to a picture of Baby Rachel and Baby Noah in the bathtub. She looked very amused.
Rachel growled and lunged across the table for the book. Quinn jerked back quickly, a little too quickly, and her chair tipped backwards. For a second, the chair seemed to hesitate and Rachel met Quinn’s wide eyes and her heart leapt up to her throat and then Quinn crashed to the floor. Rachel jumped out of her chair, ran around the table, and kneeled next to Quinn. The blonde was starting to sit up, blinking rapidly. Rachel wrapped an arm around her shoulders and helped her sit up the rest of the way. She ran her hands down Quinn’s arms and then back up checking for injuries. She ran her fingers through Quinn’s hair checking for bumps, “Are you okay? I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut for a second before she turned her steely gaze onto Rachel. “How does it feel?”
Rachel paused, “Your head? I guess-“
“No. The worry.”
Rachel’s hands froze, “What?”
Quinn’s voice was dangerously low, “Whatever you’re feeling right now, I feel times ten whenever I see you show up with bruises or laid out on the field.”
Rachel pulled away, “Quinn…”
“No,” Quinn snapped, “Do you know how much worse it was last night? You stormed out of there with Puckerman, going to do God knows what-“
“You know we aren’t having sex!”
“I’m not talking about sex! I’m talking about whatever you manage to do that leaves bruises! Fighting or whatever. And then you didn’t answer any of my texts. The only reason I got any sleep at all was because Puck, Noah Puckerman!, texted me to let me know he’d dropped you off safely at your house, among other things.”
Rachel blinked, “He did?”
“Yes,” Quinn growled, “He did. But you should have. I’ve gotten a goddamn text every night for the past two months and there was no excuse-“
“I was angry,” Rachel snapped, “And since when do you care about my texts?”
“Since forever! You had no right to be mad! I was not on a date with Finn!”
“I wasn’t mad at you! I was mad at him and his stupid face and the stupid things coming out of his stupid mouth.” Rachel stood up and started pacing, and then she stopped and glared at Quinn, “And then I was mad at you. Puck throws a football in my general direction and you try to kill him, Finn tries to touch me with his grabby paws and call me a whore, verbally assaults me, and it doesn’t matter. You didn’t do a thing.”
Quinn jumped up, her eyes blazing, “Of course it mattered! But you lunged for him and Puck was holding you back and then the next thing I know you think I’m dating before you storm out.”
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose, “I was going to hurt him. I was going to physically assault him and I didn’t want my daddy to have to go back to work just so he could bail me out of jail.”
“Because he insulted you and Puck.”
Rachel nodded, and then shook her head, “Because he said he could have you.”
Quinn blinked and her face scrunched up.
Rachel sighed, “Quinn, I realize that you will probably never return my feelings, but, please, never date him. Ever. He could never even begin to deserve or appreciate you. He’s a selfish, spineless coward. You deserve so much better than he could hope to be.”
Quinn’s eyes searched her face, “What did he do to you?”
“He dumped me because of my fathers, regardless of what he says otherwise. Some men approached me and asked an inappropriate question about them and he did nothing. Pretended like he couldn’t hear them, got uncomfortable when I defended them, and then pulled away and dumped me. Not that I can’t say I’m happy to have him gone from my life. I never really liked him anyway.”
Quinn’s eyes got darker and her eyebrow twitched, ‘I should have slapped him harder.”
Rachel quirked an eyebrow.
Quinn took a step towards her, “After you and Puckerman executed your spectacular diva storm out, Finn went to follow you. I stepped in front of him and slapped him. I called him an idiot. Actually, I called them all idiots. And some other things. Then, I left the mall and tried to text you.”
Rachel wrapped her arms around herself, “Why?”
Quinn looked down at the floor, “Do you know why I was at the mall with Mercedes?”
Rachel rolled her eyes, “Obviously, that’s why for a split second I thought you were with Finn and I almost threw up a little.”
Quinn’s eyes snapped back up and they were smoldering. Rachel gasped quietly.
“Rachel. I was there because we’d been talking. Brittany and Santana have been fighting over Lord Tubbington and are probably still having make up sex and I needed someone to talk to. She’s my closest friend besides them, even if she can be a jealous bitch.”
Rachel scowled, “You told Mercedes about my feelings for you? What, where you laughing-“
“Of course not! For someone who claims to like me you’re assuming the worst of me. I’m going to let it slide because I’m going to assume this is leftover aggression for Finn. I did talk to her about your feelings and my feelings about your feeling. Consequently, thanks to my use of gender neutral pronouns, she and Kurt are probably going to be gabbing about how some punk friend of Puck’s has a crush on me.”
Rachel shifted, “I suppose, technically, that’s true.”
Quinn scoffed, “You’re about as punk as a dolphin.”
Rachel rolled her eyes, “So, what were the wise and all knowing Mercedes Jones’ thoughts on the matter?”
Quinn put her hands on her hips, “First you should know that my opinion was already formed, but after I heard what Mercedes had to say, I knew I’d made the correct decision.”
Rachel squeezed her fists so tight she could feel her nails digging into her palms. The anger was completely gone from the cheerleader’s eyes, but it was being overpowered by an intense smugness. The blonde had her exactly where she wanted her and she knew it. Rachel was essentially powerless at this point in the conversation and it set her teeth on edge.
Quinn stepped closer, “Mercedes said that anyone who would spend large amounts of time with Puck was probably just as hopeless as he was-“ Rachel bristled. Quinn held up her hand, “-and that he wasn’t worth my time. She said that Puck was a selfish, immature, shallow jackass and that, inevitably, someone who was friends with him had to be the same way. And, you know what?”
Rachel was so mad she couldn’t even speak, and Quinn knew because she only paused a second before continuing.
“I was pissed.”
Rachel blinked and her face scrunched up in confusion. Quinn’s eyes were angry again and she was glaring at Rachel.
“I was pissed because I was going to defend Puck. I should still hate him for getting me pregnant, treating me like shit for most of it, and then making me feel bad for not keeping her, but I don’t. Because you spent all summer telling me about the things you were doing together and how sweet he was to you and how loyal he was with you. He’s a good friend to you and when Mercedes said all of those things, I realized that Puck wasn’t really any of them, not with you, and I was offended on your behalf.”
Rachel gaped at her.
Quinn sighed, “I don’t like him. I’m angry at him still sometimes, especially right now with you, but I can’t hate him. And it’s your fault.”
Rachel’s eyes flicked over Quinn’s face and she licked her lips, “What….what does that mean?”
Quinn shrugged, “Did you know that the only thing that stopped me was Kurt running up to us, dragging Finn behind him, so he could tell us what he’d heard in the food court?”
Rachel grimaced and shook her head.
Quinn’s eyes darkened considerably, “Part of me admits it was really clever-talking about football under the guise of sex, but a bigger part of me want to smack the both of you. Hard. Because now the whole school thinks you two are having sex and that you let him pick out your underwear.”
Rachel snorted, “They’ve thought worse things about me.”
Quinn stepped closer again. She was within arms reach.
“Worse for you, maybe, but not worse for me. Because the first thing I though was that now everyone was going to think that Puckerman had his filthy hands all over my Rachel.”
Rachel’s breath caught, “What?”
“You were right when you said I was acting like a jealous girlfriend. I’m not going to say that I secretly knew that I was in love with you all summer because it’s not true. I knew there was something there, some uncomfortable feeling in my gut, and I wanted to avoid it. And you. But you had to text me and you had to get hurt and I tried not to know what it was. I thought I was doing a good job of it too, until I saw Puckerman tackle you and you had to open your big mouth.”
Rachel had a strange mix of hope and dread churning in her stomach because it sounded like Quinn was telling her that maybe she felt the same way, but she was still glaring at her and her body was rigid with tension.
Rachel licked her lips, “Quinn…”
“No,” Quinn snapped, poking Rachel in the chest with her index finger, ‘I’m not done yet. You wanted me to respond all summer? This is my response. I didn’t want to think about it, but you made it impossible not to. I’ve spent the last week having to deal with all of this shit. I have never had an issue with homosexuality, but I do have an issue with my own homosexuality.”
Rachel winced. She wanted to hug Quinn and tell her that everything would be okay. She wanted to smooth the frown away from her face. She wanted to kiss her. Instead, she stood there silently just like Quinn wanted and waited for her to continue. Quinn’s finger was still jabbed into her chest and she was breathing heavily.
“It’s not fair. I don’t want to be a part of a minority that is ridiculed, assaulted and treated like second class citizens. I don’t want people to call me names and wonder if I’m on the cheerios just because I want to look at girls. My father was a bigot and while my mother isn’t, she’s not going to know what to do.”
Quinn’s eyes were boiling with hot tears that refused to spill over. Rachel clenched her fists tighter so she wouldn’t reach out.
“I care what people think. I always have. I want people to look at me and say ‘There’s Quinn Fabray. Look at her, she has everything.’ I want people to want to be me. Do you understand that? Do you understand how badly I want that?”
Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart ached and she wasn’t sure if it hurt more for her or for the girl standing in front of her. She couldn’t speak, so she just nodded. Quinn’s breath was coming out in hot bursts and she had moved close enough that Rachel could feel it on her face.
When the blonde spoke again, her voice was low. “Good. Then you know what it means when I say that I want you more.”
Rachel’s eyes snapped open, “What?”
The hand that had been jabbing her flattened so that it was just resting against her chest.
Quinn’s eyes were steady on hers.
“My goals this summer were to get back in shape and back on the cheerios, and to become a stronger person. How can I say that I’m a stronger person if I can’t even try to get what I want? Why would people want to be me if I’m faking everything while I’m dying inside? I’m angry that this has to be such a big deal. I’m going to be insecure and I might get a little bit depressed sometimes. I’m not going to be ready for public displays of affection, but I’m not going to be ashamed of you. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m kind of possessive of you and if someone asked I’d tell them you were mine. I’m not going to tell everyone that I’m gay, but I’m not going to hide it.”
Rachel reached forward slowly and put her hand on Quinn’s cheek.
Quinn took a breath, “What I’m trying to say is that if you want to deal with all of that, then I want to try.”
Rachel’s lips quirked, “Are you implying that you want to be my girlfriend?”
Quinn gave a watery chuckle, “If I say yes, will you turn around and walk away?”
Rachel used her thumb to wipe away the few tears that finally spilled. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”
Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut and she licked her lips before she opened them again. They were filled with fear and hope. “Yes, Rachel. You’re infuriating and passionate and strong. You’re loyal and ridiculously determined. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend.”
Rachel put her other hand on Quinn’s shoulder, “You’ll never be ashamed of me, of us?”
“Never.”
Quinn smiled and it was beautiful. Rachel smiled back. And then Quinn leaned down slowly and Rachel leaned up. Their noses brushed and Quinn’s phone went off.
“God, that’s my mom. I have to answer it.”
Rachel groaned and buried her face in her hands as Quinn took a step back and answered her phone. She gripped Rachel’s shirt lightly.
“Mom, I’m kinda--- I went to a friend’s house. I’m so--- Oh. Oh. Well--- Right now? But-Please-okay. Okay. I’m leaving right now. I said I’m on my way. Bye.”
Quinn frowned, “I have to go.”
“I heard.”
“I’ll see you after practice, okay?”
“Okay.”
Quinn hesitated before quickly brushing her lips against Rachel’s forehead and practically running out the door.
Rachel stood there blinking for a minute before she glanced at the clock. She idly realized that she had missed ballet. She spotted the photo album on the floor and she picked it up. Suddenly she smirked and grabbed her phone. She sent a text to Puck.
Rachel: You should be worried. My girlfriend saw a baby picture of us naked together in the tub.
Puck: Wait, what?
Rachel: Quinn showed up at my house this morning. My dad gave her the photo album.
Puck:…..
Rachel: My GIRLFRIEND saw baby pictures of us.
Puck: HELL YEAH! I knew my Superstar was hot shit.
On the way to practice, Puck pumped her for information. Multiple fist bumps were exchanged, until the end.
“What do you mean you didn’t kiss her? You totally just lost badass points.”
“I couldn’t, Noah! Trust me, I would have, but she left so quickly.”
Puck rolled his eyes, “When she swooped down for the forehead, you should have planted one on her.”
“Our first kiss will not be a rushed good bye.”
“Mhmm. Hey-“
“No, you cannot watch.”
Puck pouted, “Fine, but only because you’re my bro. But, what I was going to say was that, as your bro, I’m going to have to have a talk with her.”
Rachel raised any eyebrow, “Is that a good idea? You’re kind of afraid of her.”
Puck scoffed, “The Puckasaurus is scared of no man.”
“Quinn is a woman.”
“Okay, I’m a little afraid of her, but I’d do anything for you.”
Rachel smiled, “Likewise.”
When Rachel and Puck walked out onto the field after getting changed in the storage shed, Quinn was standing by the bleachers with her hands on her hips. They exchanged a glance before walking over to her. Puck made sure he stayed slightly behind Rachel. Quinn was scowling, but her lips quirked when she looked at Rachel.
“You two got me in trouble.”
Rachel frowned and she and Puck exchanged another glance. “We did?”
“The phone call earlier? My mom just got the cell phone bill for July. Apparently I went over by at least 300 texts. “
Puck smirked, “Hey, your crazy is all your fault. Rach and I just wanted to play football.”
“About that--
“Fabray, you aren’t going to take my bro.”
Quinn grabbed him by the facemask and pulled him down, ignoring Rachel’s noise of protest, “Shut it, Puckerman. I don’t like you right now, but you’re Rachel’s bro and I have to accept it, just like I’m going to have to accept you two playing football.” She released him and looked at Rachel pointedly, “I don’t like it at all. I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to seeing you get tackled, but I’m going to try.”
Rachel gave her a small smile.
Quinn glared at Puck, “But I swear to God, if you hurt her you will experience a world of pain.”
Puck puffed out his chest and he leaned forward, “Same thing goes for you, Fabray. Nobody messes with Superstar and gets away with it, even you.”
Quinn’s eyebrow twitched but she nodded, “Deal.”
Rachel wanted to reach for her hand, but she didn’t want to push Quinn’s boundaries already. She smiled brightly, “Thank you for trying, Quinn.”
“Thank you for trying,” Quinn murmured.
Puck cleared his throat and smirked.
Quinn clenched her jaw, “I have to go. Mom’s decided we need to have another discussion about household rules and messaging plans. I don’t know if I’ll be in touch tonight. If you two haven’t gotten me grounded, I think I might start staying for your practices. Someone needs to make sure you two don’t kill each other.”
Puck flinched, “Hold on, you’re not going to be anywhere near here when we practice, not if you’re going to kill me every time I tackle her.”
Rachel spoke softly, “He’s right, Quinn.”
Quinn crossed her arms and she glared at Puck, “You want her to play football, right?”
“Yeah, but-“
“I have to get used to it. If she makes it on the football team, I can’t be rushing onto the field to kill anyone who touches her.”
Puck scowled, “Fine.”
“Fine,” Quinn mimicked, before smiling at Rachel, “I’ve really got to go.”
Rachel smiled softly, “Okay.”
Quinn made no move to leave, just stared at Rachel. Finally she blinked and glanced around the field.
“Puckerman, take ten steps back and turn around.”
“Why-“
“Now,” Quinn growled.
Puck moved quickly. Quinn stepped closer to Rachel before pulling her closer by her jersey. Rachel was surprised but she put her hands gently on Quinn’s waist. Quinn’s fingers trembled as they fumbled with the chinstrap on Rachel’s helmet. By the time the helmet hit the ground, Quinn’s lips were one hers. The kiss was chaste, just a gentle brushing of lips, and Quinn’s lips were soft and warm. Rachel wanted to pull her even closer and do….something, but she was surprised that Quinn was even kissing her at all, even if the football field was deserted. By the time Quinn pulled away, Rachel thought she was going to explode.
Quinn’s cheeks were flushed pink, “I wanted to do that earlier.”
Rachel nodded furiously.
Quinn stepped back, biting her lip, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Rachel grinned after her until Puck bumped her shoulder with his. He offered her his fist. She hit it. They went back to practice, Rachel humming “We are the Champions” under her breath.
That night Rachel smirked as she sent out her nightly text message.
Rachel: I thought I should inform you that I’ve started dating this really hot cheerleader. Good night Quinn. Sleep well. P.S. Do I still only get two texts?
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: eventual Quinn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel friendship
Spoilers: Season 1 compliant, AU Season 2.
Summary: The summer after her sophomore year, Rachel Berry has three goals: 1. Prepare for Glee 2. Befriend Quinn Fabray 3. Create a Lasting Romance with Finn Hudson. By the fourth week of summer she’s completely failed two of them. Now what is she supposed to do?
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rachel was in a foul mood when she woke up and she felt like she hadn’t slept at all. Instead of getting up, she buried her head under her pillow and tried to breathe. It was hard for her to believe that the events of the previous night had really occurred. She had never felt so emotionally or physically out of control before. Thinking back on it, she and Puck should have known something bad was going to come out of their innuendos. Rachel had expected maybe a few poorly spelled and articulated texts from Finn and another verbal confrontation with Kurt. She didn’t regret what they did. Kurt was too nosey for his own good and he would look ridiculous when people figured out that they weren’t dating. And, it had been fun trying to stay true to the discussion about football pads and tackling experiences while making it sound as dirty as possible. It was a challenge and they had met it spectacularly. But then Finn had to be there and open his big mouth. Rachel would not stand to have anyone bad mouth her bro. Noah may have had a sordid past, as far as the glee clubbers were concerned, but that didn’t mean they could get away with treating them like that. She understood what Puck meant when he said Finn got everything without deserving it. He had everyone’s support and trust and he was nothing but a coward who thought everything anyone did revolved around himself. And then to see Quinn…
Pain shot through Rachel’s chest. It had been so confusing for Rachel to see Quinn standing there looking at her with the same fire in her eyes as she did when she usually caught Rachel with Puck. How could Quinn look at her like that as if she hadn’t walked away and ignored Rachel for the past five days? How could she go insane when Puck so much as looked at her, but not say a word when Finn said those horrible things? Quinn knew they weren’t sleeping together. How could she not after Rachel’s confession? And then Rachel had realized that Quinn had been with Finn, and Kurt and Mercedes, but with Finn, and Rachel had exploded. She’d wanted to hurt Finn before, but once the jealousy had coursed through her, she had really wanted to hurt him. She had never before been so close to physically harming someone out of anger. And she would have, if Puck hadn’t have been there and inadvertently reminded her of their agreement not to kick anyone’s ass. She had to leave, had to storm out or she would have done something that would have gotten her arrested. Especially after Finn implied that he could have Quinn if he wanted to.
Rachel knew that Quinn probably hadn’t been on a date with Finn, but just the fact that she was there with him at all when she had been ignoring Rachel for almost a week had hurt. The pain made her irrational. Everything about Quinn made her irrational, so she ignored Quinn’s texts. She didn’t want to say something that she really regretted. And, it was hard for Rachel for Quinn to go from paying her no attention to lots of attention, back to no attention, and then back to texting Rachel like she really did care. It made Rachel feel like a yoyo, a little toy, continually being thrown away and pulled back. A part of her didn’t respond to Quinn because then maybe she would finally know what Rachel felt like all summer. Rachel wanted Quinn more, and more genuinely, than she had ever wanted anybody else and she didn’t know how much more she could take.
The brunette sat up slowly and eyed her phone warily. She wasn’t sure if she should even turn it on. She took a breath and hit the power button, her eyes quickly scanning through the text messages.
Quinn: Rachel.
Mercedes: That little diva fit reminded me why I didn’t want to see you this summer.
Quinn: Rachel Berry.
Finn: I stll cr abt u
Quinn: Rachel Barbra Berry!
Kurt: We’re just trying to think about glee club. Don’t mope around when Puck breaks your heart. You’ll get what you deserve.
Quinn: That’s it, I’m coming to your house.
Puck: It’ll be okay, Superstar, I promise.
Quinn: Fine, Rachel, just fine.
Rachel rubbed at her eyes. This was such a mess. Were everyone else’s lives normally so dramatic, or was it some kind of weird side effect from too much Broadway (not that Rachel was entirely sure that was possible)? Part of her wanted to text Quinn and apologize for her behavior, explain herself, but she wanted an apology too. She wanted Quinn to explain things to her, too. Rachel was unsure about a lot when it came to Quinn, but she knew she needed to stand up for herself. Maybe just a simple “good morning” would do? Rachel shook her head. She needed breakfast before she could deal with this and it was already past 8:30. She was surprised her father hadn’t tried to wake her up; he was normally so punctual when it came to breakfast. She figured there must have been an emergency at the hospital and he’d had to leave early.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she paused. She heard her dad’s voice coming from the kitchen, so he was definitely home. Maybe he’d gotten busy on the telephone or maybe her daddy decided to take the day off of work. Rachel yawned and tried to force her body to relax. She didn’t want to play twenty questions with him this morning.
She pushed open the door of her kitchen and stopped abruptly. Her palms began to sweat and she tried to refrain from gaping like a fish, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t working. Breakfast for three was set at the table and it looked like it had gone cold. Her dad wasn’t on the phone, he was sitting at the table with one of the family photo albums positively gushing (“And she was four in this one. Look how adorable she is dressed up as Rumpleteazer.”) over her pictures. Sitting next to him with an amused smile on her face was Quinn Fabray. She looked tired. Her hair was in a messy, loose pony tail and it looked as if she’d just thrown on whatever was laying around and came over. Quinn looked perfectly at ease sitting at her table and it made Rachel’s stomach flip.
Hiram was the first to notice her and he smiled cheerfully, “Good morning, pumpkin. We were beginning to think you weren’t going to get up at all.”
Quinn’s smile turned into a smirk.
Rachel licked her lips, ‘Good morning, Dad. Good morning, Quinn.”
“Good morning, Rachel.”
If Hiram noticed the tension in the room, he didn’t show it. “Quinn came knocking at 7:30, just as I was getting ready to start breakfast. I brought out the photo album so she’d have something to do while she waited for you. I’m sure she didn’t want to listen to me jabber about medical terms.”
Rachel tore her gaze away from Quinn and looked at her father. She put her hands on her hips, “Dad, I don’t think it’s typical protocol to show one’s childhood pictures without a request being given by the guest and the express permission granted by the person whose photographs are being shown.”
Quinn raised her eyebrow. Hiram shook his head, “Nonsense, Rachel. Quinn’s enjoying them, aren’t you, Quinn?”
“Yes, sir. Very much.”
Rachel fought the urge to stomp her feet. Damn her. She was acting completely calm and Rachel felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin. It was like she was in some strange parallel universe where her dad thought it was completely normal for Quinn to show up for breakfast and completely normal to show someone who had, up until five days ago, essentially been stalking Rachel her private memories. She was going to have to watch him when she became famous. Who knows what crazed fan he’d let into the house.
“Sit down, pumpkin, eat your breakfast.”
Rachel sat down slowly across from Quinn, eyeing her warily. What was she doing here? What did she want? Was she going to do something besides smirk and look through Rachel’s pictures? Currently, she was completely avoiding Rachel’s gazed, studiously flipping through the photo album. Every once in a while her eyebrow would twitch or her lips would quirk. It was driving Rachel crazy.
Finally Hiram cleared his throat, “Well, girls, I have to get going to work. It was good to see you again, Quinn.”
Quinn smiled, “You too, Dr. Berry.”
“Bye, Dad,” Rachel grumbled.
He leaned down to hug her and whispered in her ear, “Whatever it is, work it out.”
Rachel stared after him. When she head the front door close, she turned back to Quinn, who was still flipping through the photo album slowly, deliberately. Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times. She clenched and unclenched her hands and then she took a deep breath. If Quinn wanted to play the silent game, they would play the silent game. Ten minutes later, Rachel was biting her tongue and Quinn was still looking at pictures. Rachel was this close to grabbing the book and flinging it across the room. Then Rachel decided that it wasn’t Quinn’s turn to pick the game. She pushed her breakfast away and folded her arms across her chest.
“What are you doing here, Quinn?”
“Looking at you,” She lifted the photo album, “Apparently you really are some kind of dancing ninja. And you lied, you have been naked with Puckerman.” Quinn flipped to a picture of Baby Rachel and Baby Noah in the bathtub. She looked very amused.
Rachel growled and lunged across the table for the book. Quinn jerked back quickly, a little too quickly, and her chair tipped backwards. For a second, the chair seemed to hesitate and Rachel met Quinn’s wide eyes and her heart leapt up to her throat and then Quinn crashed to the floor. Rachel jumped out of her chair, ran around the table, and kneeled next to Quinn. The blonde was starting to sit up, blinking rapidly. Rachel wrapped an arm around her shoulders and helped her sit up the rest of the way. She ran her hands down Quinn’s arms and then back up checking for injuries. She ran her fingers through Quinn’s hair checking for bumps, “Are you okay? I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut for a second before she turned her steely gaze onto Rachel. “How does it feel?”
Rachel paused, “Your head? I guess-“
“No. The worry.”
Rachel’s hands froze, “What?”
Quinn’s voice was dangerously low, “Whatever you’re feeling right now, I feel times ten whenever I see you show up with bruises or laid out on the field.”
Rachel pulled away, “Quinn…”
“No,” Quinn snapped, “Do you know how much worse it was last night? You stormed out of there with Puckerman, going to do God knows what-“
“You know we aren’t having sex!”
“I’m not talking about sex! I’m talking about whatever you manage to do that leaves bruises! Fighting or whatever. And then you didn’t answer any of my texts. The only reason I got any sleep at all was because Puck, Noah Puckerman!, texted me to let me know he’d dropped you off safely at your house, among other things.”
Rachel blinked, “He did?”
“Yes,” Quinn growled, “He did. But you should have. I’ve gotten a goddamn text every night for the past two months and there was no excuse-“
“I was angry,” Rachel snapped, “And since when do you care about my texts?”
“Since forever! You had no right to be mad! I was not on a date with Finn!”
“I wasn’t mad at you! I was mad at him and his stupid face and the stupid things coming out of his stupid mouth.” Rachel stood up and started pacing, and then she stopped and glared at Quinn, “And then I was mad at you. Puck throws a football in my general direction and you try to kill him, Finn tries to touch me with his grabby paws and call me a whore, verbally assaults me, and it doesn’t matter. You didn’t do a thing.”
Quinn jumped up, her eyes blazing, “Of course it mattered! But you lunged for him and Puck was holding you back and then the next thing I know you think I’m dating before you storm out.”
Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose, “I was going to hurt him. I was going to physically assault him and I didn’t want my daddy to have to go back to work just so he could bail me out of jail.”
“Because he insulted you and Puck.”
Rachel nodded, and then shook her head, “Because he said he could have you.”
Quinn blinked and her face scrunched up.
Rachel sighed, “Quinn, I realize that you will probably never return my feelings, but, please, never date him. Ever. He could never even begin to deserve or appreciate you. He’s a selfish, spineless coward. You deserve so much better than he could hope to be.”
Quinn’s eyes searched her face, “What did he do to you?”
“He dumped me because of my fathers, regardless of what he says otherwise. Some men approached me and asked an inappropriate question about them and he did nothing. Pretended like he couldn’t hear them, got uncomfortable when I defended them, and then pulled away and dumped me. Not that I can’t say I’m happy to have him gone from my life. I never really liked him anyway.”
Quinn’s eyes got darker and her eyebrow twitched, ‘I should have slapped him harder.”
Rachel quirked an eyebrow.
Quinn took a step towards her, “After you and Puckerman executed your spectacular diva storm out, Finn went to follow you. I stepped in front of him and slapped him. I called him an idiot. Actually, I called them all idiots. And some other things. Then, I left the mall and tried to text you.”
Rachel wrapped her arms around herself, “Why?”
Quinn looked down at the floor, “Do you know why I was at the mall with Mercedes?”
Rachel rolled her eyes, “Obviously, that’s why for a split second I thought you were with Finn and I almost threw up a little.”
Quinn’s eyes snapped back up and they were smoldering. Rachel gasped quietly.
“Rachel. I was there because we’d been talking. Brittany and Santana have been fighting over Lord Tubbington and are probably still having make up sex and I needed someone to talk to. She’s my closest friend besides them, even if she can be a jealous bitch.”
Rachel scowled, “You told Mercedes about my feelings for you? What, where you laughing-“
“Of course not! For someone who claims to like me you’re assuming the worst of me. I’m going to let it slide because I’m going to assume this is leftover aggression for Finn. I did talk to her about your feelings and my feelings about your feeling. Consequently, thanks to my use of gender neutral pronouns, she and Kurt are probably going to be gabbing about how some punk friend of Puck’s has a crush on me.”
Rachel shifted, “I suppose, technically, that’s true.”
Quinn scoffed, “You’re about as punk as a dolphin.”
Rachel rolled her eyes, “So, what were the wise and all knowing Mercedes Jones’ thoughts on the matter?”
Quinn put her hands on her hips, “First you should know that my opinion was already formed, but after I heard what Mercedes had to say, I knew I’d made the correct decision.”
Rachel squeezed her fists so tight she could feel her nails digging into her palms. The anger was completely gone from the cheerleader’s eyes, but it was being overpowered by an intense smugness. The blonde had her exactly where she wanted her and she knew it. Rachel was essentially powerless at this point in the conversation and it set her teeth on edge.
Quinn stepped closer, “Mercedes said that anyone who would spend large amounts of time with Puck was probably just as hopeless as he was-“ Rachel bristled. Quinn held up her hand, “-and that he wasn’t worth my time. She said that Puck was a selfish, immature, shallow jackass and that, inevitably, someone who was friends with him had to be the same way. And, you know what?”
Rachel was so mad she couldn’t even speak, and Quinn knew because she only paused a second before continuing.
“I was pissed.”
Rachel blinked and her face scrunched up in confusion. Quinn’s eyes were angry again and she was glaring at Rachel.
“I was pissed because I was going to defend Puck. I should still hate him for getting me pregnant, treating me like shit for most of it, and then making me feel bad for not keeping her, but I don’t. Because you spent all summer telling me about the things you were doing together and how sweet he was to you and how loyal he was with you. He’s a good friend to you and when Mercedes said all of those things, I realized that Puck wasn’t really any of them, not with you, and I was offended on your behalf.”
Rachel gaped at her.
Quinn sighed, “I don’t like him. I’m angry at him still sometimes, especially right now with you, but I can’t hate him. And it’s your fault.”
Rachel’s eyes flicked over Quinn’s face and she licked her lips, “What….what does that mean?”
Quinn shrugged, “Did you know that the only thing that stopped me was Kurt running up to us, dragging Finn behind him, so he could tell us what he’d heard in the food court?”
Rachel grimaced and shook her head.
Quinn’s eyes darkened considerably, “Part of me admits it was really clever-talking about football under the guise of sex, but a bigger part of me want to smack the both of you. Hard. Because now the whole school thinks you two are having sex and that you let him pick out your underwear.”
Rachel snorted, “They’ve thought worse things about me.”
Quinn stepped closer again. She was within arms reach.
“Worse for you, maybe, but not worse for me. Because the first thing I though was that now everyone was going to think that Puckerman had his filthy hands all over my Rachel.”
Rachel’s breath caught, “What?”
“You were right when you said I was acting like a jealous girlfriend. I’m not going to say that I secretly knew that I was in love with you all summer because it’s not true. I knew there was something there, some uncomfortable feeling in my gut, and I wanted to avoid it. And you. But you had to text me and you had to get hurt and I tried not to know what it was. I thought I was doing a good job of it too, until I saw Puckerman tackle you and you had to open your big mouth.”
Rachel had a strange mix of hope and dread churning in her stomach because it sounded like Quinn was telling her that maybe she felt the same way, but she was still glaring at her and her body was rigid with tension.
Rachel licked her lips, “Quinn…”
“No,” Quinn snapped, poking Rachel in the chest with her index finger, ‘I’m not done yet. You wanted me to respond all summer? This is my response. I didn’t want to think about it, but you made it impossible not to. I’ve spent the last week having to deal with all of this shit. I have never had an issue with homosexuality, but I do have an issue with my own homosexuality.”
Rachel winced. She wanted to hug Quinn and tell her that everything would be okay. She wanted to smooth the frown away from her face. She wanted to kiss her. Instead, she stood there silently just like Quinn wanted and waited for her to continue. Quinn’s finger was still jabbed into her chest and she was breathing heavily.
“It’s not fair. I don’t want to be a part of a minority that is ridiculed, assaulted and treated like second class citizens. I don’t want people to call me names and wonder if I’m on the cheerios just because I want to look at girls. My father was a bigot and while my mother isn’t, she’s not going to know what to do.”
Quinn’s eyes were boiling with hot tears that refused to spill over. Rachel clenched her fists tighter so she wouldn’t reach out.
“I care what people think. I always have. I want people to look at me and say ‘There’s Quinn Fabray. Look at her, she has everything.’ I want people to want to be me. Do you understand that? Do you understand how badly I want that?”
Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart ached and she wasn’t sure if it hurt more for her or for the girl standing in front of her. She couldn’t speak, so she just nodded. Quinn’s breath was coming out in hot bursts and she had moved close enough that Rachel could feel it on her face.
When the blonde spoke again, her voice was low. “Good. Then you know what it means when I say that I want you more.”
Rachel’s eyes snapped open, “What?”
The hand that had been jabbing her flattened so that it was just resting against her chest.
Quinn’s eyes were steady on hers.
“My goals this summer were to get back in shape and back on the cheerios, and to become a stronger person. How can I say that I’m a stronger person if I can’t even try to get what I want? Why would people want to be me if I’m faking everything while I’m dying inside? I’m angry that this has to be such a big deal. I’m going to be insecure and I might get a little bit depressed sometimes. I’m not going to be ready for public displays of affection, but I’m not going to be ashamed of you. If you hadn’t noticed, I’m kind of possessive of you and if someone asked I’d tell them you were mine. I’m not going to tell everyone that I’m gay, but I’m not going to hide it.”
Rachel reached forward slowly and put her hand on Quinn’s cheek.
Quinn took a breath, “What I’m trying to say is that if you want to deal with all of that, then I want to try.”
Rachel’s lips quirked, “Are you implying that you want to be my girlfriend?”
Quinn gave a watery chuckle, “If I say yes, will you turn around and walk away?”
Rachel used her thumb to wipe away the few tears that finally spilled. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”
Quinn’s eyes fluttered shut and she licked her lips before she opened them again. They were filled with fear and hope. “Yes, Rachel. You’re infuriating and passionate and strong. You’re loyal and ridiculously determined. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend.”
Rachel put her other hand on Quinn’s shoulder, “You’ll never be ashamed of me, of us?”
“Never.”
Quinn smiled and it was beautiful. Rachel smiled back. And then Quinn leaned down slowly and Rachel leaned up. Their noses brushed and Quinn’s phone went off.
“God, that’s my mom. I have to answer it.”
Rachel groaned and buried her face in her hands as Quinn took a step back and answered her phone. She gripped Rachel’s shirt lightly.
“Mom, I’m kinda--- I went to a friend’s house. I’m so--- Oh. Oh. Well--- Right now? But-Please-okay. Okay. I’m leaving right now. I said I’m on my way. Bye.”
Quinn frowned, “I have to go.”
“I heard.”
“I’ll see you after practice, okay?”
“Okay.”
Quinn hesitated before quickly brushing her lips against Rachel’s forehead and practically running out the door.
Rachel stood there blinking for a minute before she glanced at the clock. She idly realized that she had missed ballet. She spotted the photo album on the floor and she picked it up. Suddenly she smirked and grabbed her phone. She sent a text to Puck.
Rachel: You should be worried. My girlfriend saw a baby picture of us naked together in the tub.
Puck: Wait, what?
Rachel: Quinn showed up at my house this morning. My dad gave her the photo album.
Puck:…..
Rachel: My GIRLFRIEND saw baby pictures of us.
Puck: HELL YEAH! I knew my Superstar was hot shit.
On the way to practice, Puck pumped her for information. Multiple fist bumps were exchanged, until the end.
“What do you mean you didn’t kiss her? You totally just lost badass points.”
“I couldn’t, Noah! Trust me, I would have, but she left so quickly.”
Puck rolled his eyes, “When she swooped down for the forehead, you should have planted one on her.”
“Our first kiss will not be a rushed good bye.”
“Mhmm. Hey-“
“No, you cannot watch.”
Puck pouted, “Fine, but only because you’re my bro. But, what I was going to say was that, as your bro, I’m going to have to have a talk with her.”
Rachel raised any eyebrow, “Is that a good idea? You’re kind of afraid of her.”
Puck scoffed, “The Puckasaurus is scared of no man.”
“Quinn is a woman.”
“Okay, I’m a little afraid of her, but I’d do anything for you.”
Rachel smiled, “Likewise.”
When Rachel and Puck walked out onto the field after getting changed in the storage shed, Quinn was standing by the bleachers with her hands on her hips. They exchanged a glance before walking over to her. Puck made sure he stayed slightly behind Rachel. Quinn was scowling, but her lips quirked when she looked at Rachel.
“You two got me in trouble.”
Rachel frowned and she and Puck exchanged another glance. “We did?”
“The phone call earlier? My mom just got the cell phone bill for July. Apparently I went over by at least 300 texts. “
Puck smirked, “Hey, your crazy is all your fault. Rach and I just wanted to play football.”
“About that--
“Fabray, you aren’t going to take my bro.”
Quinn grabbed him by the facemask and pulled him down, ignoring Rachel’s noise of protest, “Shut it, Puckerman. I don’t like you right now, but you’re Rachel’s bro and I have to accept it, just like I’m going to have to accept you two playing football.” She released him and looked at Rachel pointedly, “I don’t like it at all. I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to seeing you get tackled, but I’m going to try.”
Rachel gave her a small smile.
Quinn glared at Puck, “But I swear to God, if you hurt her you will experience a world of pain.”
Puck puffed out his chest and he leaned forward, “Same thing goes for you, Fabray. Nobody messes with Superstar and gets away with it, even you.”
Quinn’s eyebrow twitched but she nodded, “Deal.”
Rachel wanted to reach for her hand, but she didn’t want to push Quinn’s boundaries already. She smiled brightly, “Thank you for trying, Quinn.”
“Thank you for trying,” Quinn murmured.
Puck cleared his throat and smirked.
Quinn clenched her jaw, “I have to go. Mom’s decided we need to have another discussion about household rules and messaging plans. I don’t know if I’ll be in touch tonight. If you two haven’t gotten me grounded, I think I might start staying for your practices. Someone needs to make sure you two don’t kill each other.”
Puck flinched, “Hold on, you’re not going to be anywhere near here when we practice, not if you’re going to kill me every time I tackle her.”
Rachel spoke softly, “He’s right, Quinn.”
Quinn crossed her arms and she glared at Puck, “You want her to play football, right?”
“Yeah, but-“
“I have to get used to it. If she makes it on the football team, I can’t be rushing onto the field to kill anyone who touches her.”
Puck scowled, “Fine.”
“Fine,” Quinn mimicked, before smiling at Rachel, “I’ve really got to go.”
Rachel smiled softly, “Okay.”
Quinn made no move to leave, just stared at Rachel. Finally she blinked and glanced around the field.
“Puckerman, take ten steps back and turn around.”
“Why-“
“Now,” Quinn growled.
Puck moved quickly. Quinn stepped closer to Rachel before pulling her closer by her jersey. Rachel was surprised but she put her hands gently on Quinn’s waist. Quinn’s fingers trembled as they fumbled with the chinstrap on Rachel’s helmet. By the time the helmet hit the ground, Quinn’s lips were one hers. The kiss was chaste, just a gentle brushing of lips, and Quinn’s lips were soft and warm. Rachel wanted to pull her even closer and do….something, but she was surprised that Quinn was even kissing her at all, even if the football field was deserted. By the time Quinn pulled away, Rachel thought she was going to explode.
Quinn’s cheeks were flushed pink, “I wanted to do that earlier.”
Rachel nodded furiously.
Quinn stepped back, biting her lip, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Rachel grinned after her until Puck bumped her shoulder with his. He offered her his fist. She hit it. They went back to practice, Rachel humming “We are the Champions” under her breath.
That night Rachel smirked as she sent out her nightly text message.
Rachel: I thought I should inform you that I’ve started dating this really hot cheerleader. Good night Quinn. Sleep well. P.S. Do I still only get two texts?