Reflection II
How do old people remember their life? I wonder whether it's actually any different from being younger. I'm in the kind of mood now where I think back on all the things that have happened to me, but as I get older, the quantity of things to reflect on doesn't seem to get any larger. What's it like when you've fifty years behind you? Do you remember more things, or do we tend to keep to roughly the same number of things, just taking the most significant and forgetting the rest? Or do we only care about the most recent, and ignore those older things which no longer have any active effect on our life? We're supposed to look upon older people as wiser for their greater 'experience' in life, but I always get the feeling that all it has taught them is what is important and what isn't. I imagine that they don't think much about their pasts, except the things they think shaped the path they led. The things which didn't fit that path, led in other temporary directions, don't matter any more and are forgotten. It interests me.
I took today as the second of my two days off this week, and wasted it in the traditional way: sleeping late and doing nothing after getting up. Spent most of it playing UT3, except for a break where we went out for something to eat and a short trip to ASDA to pick up a few supplies.
Tomorrow... well, other than completing the five remaining hours of my working week, I seem to have agreed to go and see a short performance by a band that my brother is in. I was interested, but my will to go has decreased significantly after learning what's involved: he'll be briefly appearing at an unknown time given only as 'between 3 and 5', as a part of some big all-day event of many acts. It's in the middle of an horrible area surrounded by bad estates, is inconvenient to get to, I'd have to leave in the middle of work and return, and we'd have to walk. I'm sure I'm expected to make the effort for the sake of 'supporting my brother', though in reality I doubt he cares very much. If my 'approval' means anything at all to him, he can have it. I've written before that I admired that he has actually persisted and succeeded with something. With the drums and the guitar, and recently some interesting stop-motion videos he's been making, I'm quite impressed with what he's doing. I don't know if I'll go or not now, but I don't think I'll be making any statement of support or lack of it either way.
There's something more I wanted to say, but then I decided it would make things easier for me if I just keep quiet. Then I decided that this amounts to deception, even if it is something completely harmless, and so now I'm unsure. I think I'll leave it for now - I'm tired and not thinking clearly. Is it ever morally acceptable to use people's ignorance to your advantage, if you know it won't hurt anybody? Probably not, but sometimes something seems so simple, and it feels best to keep it that way. I'll be back tonight, I think.
I took today as the second of my two days off this week, and wasted it in the traditional way: sleeping late and doing nothing after getting up. Spent most of it playing UT3, except for a break where we went out for something to eat and a short trip to ASDA to pick up a few supplies.
Tomorrow... well, other than completing the five remaining hours of my working week, I seem to have agreed to go and see a short performance by a band that my brother is in. I was interested, but my will to go has decreased significantly after learning what's involved: he'll be briefly appearing at an unknown time given only as 'between 3 and 5', as a part of some big all-day event of many acts. It's in the middle of an horrible area surrounded by bad estates, is inconvenient to get to, I'd have to leave in the middle of work and return, and we'd have to walk. I'm sure I'm expected to make the effort for the sake of 'supporting my brother', though in reality I doubt he cares very much. If my 'approval' means anything at all to him, he can have it. I've written before that I admired that he has actually persisted and succeeded with something. With the drums and the guitar, and recently some interesting stop-motion videos he's been making, I'm quite impressed with what he's doing. I don't know if I'll go or not now, but I don't think I'll be making any statement of support or lack of it either way.
There's something more I wanted to say, but then I decided it would make things easier for me if I just keep quiet. Then I decided that this amounts to deception, even if it is something completely harmless, and so now I'm unsure. I think I'll leave it for now - I'm tired and not thinking clearly. Is it ever morally acceptable to use people's ignorance to your advantage, if you know it won't hurt anybody? Probably not, but sometimes something seems so simple, and it feels best to keep it that way. I'll be back tonight, I think.