Thank God. I really needed something hopeful to read, and this entry was it!
I understand how you felt about the whole 'kissing someone new' thing. I was feeling very guilty myself about kissing someone new, especially because I had not kissed anyone but Armen for over two years (except for one curious experience with a female friend which I don't think matters in this context). Nevertheless it was a step I knew I needed to take to move on. I kissed one of my guy friends a few nights ago, not because I have feelings for him but we both kissed a bit just for fun. I was worried that afterward I would feel even more guilty, but I didn't feel guilty at all. Nor did I feel like I was over Armen any more than I was before. The kissing changed absolutely nothing at all. It was actually disturbing how little it changed in my life, because I thought it would be such a turning point.
Then I realized. The turning point is never the kiss. It's the feeling. I had no feelings for the person I kissed, thus it changed nothing. But when I have feelings for someone new, that's when I'll feel the change. And also, it's when I'll enjoy the kiss tenfold. And then I'll be where you are :)
Another point that I had something to say about here... You said you refuse to enter a relationship without the intention of taking it all the way through life. I could not agree more. It seems people around me don't understand this concept, though. They purposefully get into relationships with people they know they wouldn't want a future with, just for the time being. Or they get into a relationship and say "why do we have to think about the future? Let's just have fun." Is it impossible to have fun and think about the future simultaneously? And besides, why do they start a relationship with the intention of having it end? What's the point? It just bothers me.
I can understand those who are looking for short relationships, I just know that it's not for me. The point is purely the enjoyment of it, though of course, they should make it clear - entering a relationship with somebody you know wants something to last, when you only want 'some fun', is a horrible thing to do.
I understand how you felt about the whole 'kissing someone new' thing. I was feeling very guilty myself about kissing someone new, especially because I had not kissed anyone but Armen for over two years (except for one curious experience with a female friend which I don't think matters in this context). Nevertheless it was a step I knew I needed to take to move on. I kissed one of my guy friends a few nights ago, not because I have feelings for him but we both kissed a bit just for fun. I was worried that afterward I would feel even more guilty, but I didn't feel guilty at all. Nor did I feel like I was over Armen any more than I was before. The kissing changed absolutely nothing at all. It was actually disturbing how little it changed in my life, because I thought it would be such a turning point.
Then I realized. The turning point is never the kiss. It's the feeling. I had no feelings for the person I kissed, thus it changed nothing. But when I have feelings for someone new, that's when I'll feel the change. And also, it's when I'll enjoy the kiss tenfold. And then I'll be where you are :)
Another point that I had something to say about here...
You said you refuse to enter a relationship without the intention of taking it all the way through life.
I could not agree more. It seems people around me don't understand this concept, though. They purposefully get into relationships with people they know they wouldn't want a future with, just for the time being. Or they get into a relationship and say "why do we have to think about the future? Let's just have fun." Is it impossible to have fun and think about the future simultaneously? And besides, why do they start a relationship with the intention of having it end? What's the point?
It just bothers me.
Anyway, this comment is long enough.
Happy Holidays!
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I can understand those who are looking for short relationships, I just know that it's not for me. The point is purely the enjoyment of it, though of course, they should make it clear - entering a relationship with somebody you know wants something to last, when you only want 'some fun', is a horrible thing to do.
Have a good Christmas!
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