ugh...
i should go lesbian..really, i should...
we talked for a bit last night...when i picked him up he remembered that he had plans to go shopping with one of his roommates, so he had to be "home" by 11:45 or so...bleak!!...we got back to my place and had a pretty good heart to heart...he then said he'd "give me" 30 more mins lol...well i ended up taking him home around 1:15...so i suppose him wanting to hang out a bit more than what he originally wanted is a good thing...plus we made plans for tonight...
what he says:
he misses me, he misses jayde, he wants to hang out with us more instead of excluding us like he has for the past week...he's still not happy and he doesn't know what it's gonna take to be happy...he's really sorry for getting me in the situation i am in now by asking us to move in with him...and yadda yadda yadda...and get this, he's willing to come over after work every night for a few hours if that would "make things better"..i just don't get it..i told him i just can't give up on him, i'll fight for him until i can't anymore...he seemed kinda shocked about it...*shrugs*
i had asked him if there were ever a chance that we'd be "we" again and he said not to rule it out...but at the same time had told me that if i became interested in someone else to go for it..he says he wants me to be happy and he doesn't feel like he was doing a good job of making me that way...i HATE that...when people tell you they weren't making you happy or whatnot...im sorry my dear, im the only one that knows that...
blah..i guess time will only tell what happens..i love the guy with all i have...no matter what he thinks, he will always be my family...shit, by the time he makes his mind up, there might not be anything left of me...i've already lost about 7 lbs in the last week...i DO eat..it's just not much cuz my stomach gets queezy...and from the sound of it, his appetite has gone downhill as well...maybe just maybe this should tell him something, like he belongs back at home with us :D..i know..i just can't give up on him...i don't think i ever will be able to
we talked for a bit last night...when i picked him up he remembered that he had plans to go shopping with one of his roommates, so he had to be "home" by 11:45 or so...bleak!!...we got back to my place and had a pretty good heart to heart...he then said he'd "give me" 30 more mins lol...well i ended up taking him home around 1:15...so i suppose him wanting to hang out a bit more than what he originally wanted is a good thing...plus we made plans for tonight...
what he says:
he misses me, he misses jayde, he wants to hang out with us more instead of excluding us like he has for the past week...he's still not happy and he doesn't know what it's gonna take to be happy...he's really sorry for getting me in the situation i am in now by asking us to move in with him...and yadda yadda yadda...and get this, he's willing to come over after work every night for a few hours if that would "make things better"..i just don't get it..i told him i just can't give up on him, i'll fight for him until i can't anymore...he seemed kinda shocked about it...*shrugs*
i had asked him if there were ever a chance that we'd be "we" again and he said not to rule it out...but at the same time had told me that if i became interested in someone else to go for it..he says he wants me to be happy and he doesn't feel like he was doing a good job of making me that way...i HATE that...when people tell you they weren't making you happy or whatnot...im sorry my dear, im the only one that knows that...
blah..i guess time will only tell what happens..i love the guy with all i have...no matter what he thinks, he will always be my family...shit, by the time he makes his mind up, there might not be anything left of me...i've already lost about 7 lbs in the last week...i DO eat..it's just not much cuz my stomach gets queezy...and from the sound of it, his appetite has gone downhill as well...maybe just maybe this should tell him something, like he belongs back at home with us :D..i know..i just can't give up on him...i don't think i ever will be able to