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Chapter Title: Collapse
Title: Here Comes Baby (12/?)
Author name: allkindsoffics
Main Pairings: Morgan/Reid/Prentiss
Characters: Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss
Rating: pg (overall nc-17)
Word count: 2222
Warnings/Spoilers: threesome relationship
Part of To Pick Up
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: A miscommunication turns ugly.
Author’s Note: I love feedback, thanks!
They sort of have a routine, but they want Charlotte to sleep better. They want her to have a more regular schedule and Derek and Emily miss Spencer at night when he spends his time rocking Charlotte to sleep. Now with Derek back at work, they have to set up a time just for the three of them. Plus, the schedule needs to be even stricter now that two of them will be leaving interminably. It seems counterintuitive but it’s necessary. They discuss and discuss and finally Spencer suggests the Ferber method. It is a method many people use and they agree upon it, but that’s before they try to implement it.
It’s their fifth night and it’s still pure torture; she’s wailing in her crib. Charlotte’s cries are angry, snotty, and heart-wrenching. They’re trying to finish dinner, but her sobs and hiccupping are making them all push their meals around on their plates. It’s hard to not run up there, scoop her up, and murmur consoling words in her ear. Spencer gets up every seven minutes to check on her, while she’s wailing. Through the baby monitor, Emily and Derek can hear Spencer sing Alison Krauss’s “Baby Mine” as he rubs Charlotte’s back.
Her wails have now turned into little rushes of hiccupped air; she stops crying halfway through the song. It’s not necessarily part of the method, but Spencer has always sung to her and she shushes faster with melodic noise.
He leaves and almost immediately, she’s howling again. He rubs his temple. Derek and Emily are still sitting at the dinner table, pushing around the same amount of food they had on their plates before he left. He tries to smile at them, but it’s strained and their returning looks are equally tense.
They’re five minutes in, when Derek throws down his utensils and walks purposefully up to Charlotte’s room. Spencer follows, because Derek doesn’t do bedtime. It’s not a spoken rule, but it’s kind of always been known. All four spend time together when Derek and Spencer arrive home from work and Derek does her evening feeding before Spencer starts her bedtime routine. It gives Emily a break after all day and gives a very stable routine for Charlotte. They have a routine and Derek is breaking it.
When Spencer finally gets up to Charlotte’s room, Derek has her cradled in his arms, he’s kissing her, and murmuring how much he loves her.
“Derek,” Spencer sighs, “I know this is difficult, but we need to follow the plan. We need to show her that merely crying will not get her out of her crib and we all need the routine.”
“Stop,” Derek says. Spencer’s not quite sure what Derek wants him to stop, so he stands in the doorway, watching Derek cocoon Charlotte. Finally, he tries to explain it again to Derek.
“Derek, I know how hard it is to listen to her cry,” Derek scoffs, but Spencer continues, “But this method does work, we just need to give it some time. If she hasn’t gotten used to it in a week, then we’ll consider a different method. We do need to give it a chance to work, even if it is hard.”
At this point, Emily has reached Charlotte’s room; she doesn’t like the direction this conversation is going. When two out of the three of them get in a fight, the third always tries to be a neutral party. Yet, she can’t help but want to side with Spencer as much as she hates listening to Charlotte cry; she desperately wants adult time after spending all day with her daughter. She places her hand on Spencer’s low back and leans in ever so slightly; she wants to shore up his defenses and give him support.
“Derek…” Emily says gently and he glances at her, but he doesn’t move toward the crib.
“Let’s keep trying with the Ferber method and if it still is not working next week, we’ll try something new,” Spencer says to Derek.
“No, I don’t want to do this anymore,” Derek states firmly.
“Derek,” Spencer begins, but is cut off by Derek’s arm wave.
“You’re not her father, I am, and I say we’re done,” Derek replies.
Spencer and Emily gasp; Spencer is stiff against Emily’s fingers.
“Derek, you don’t mean that,” Emily says gently.
“Yes, I do, he doesn’t understand how much I love her, because he’s like a robot. He mechanically checks on her every seven minutes, like it doesn’t hurt for him to listen to her cry. He never picks her up, he just follows the fucking rules like they’re laws, and there’s no way someone who loves her can just listen to her cry like that. It’s killing you and me, but obviously it doesn’t matter to him. He didn’t even care enough to take a few weeks off his precious job to be with her.”
It’s a distortion of facts and Emily knows Spencer understands that, but it doesn’t stop him from reacting. Spencer removes Emily’s hand from his back and walks purposefully to the master bedroom.
“Derek, what you said is all in your head. This is killing Spencer I can see it in his eyes. You need to apologize, Spencer loves her as much as you and I do, and you insinuating otherwise is appalling. You know only one of you could have the time off and Spencer thought it was best if you had the chance. He sacrificed for you and look what you’re doing in thanks,” Emily accuses.
“I think you’re wrong.”
“I don’t care what you think; what you said was awful and you need to fix this.”
“No, Emily, I can’t. I’m not going to apologize, when I’m not sorry.”
When Emily finally follows Spencer to the master bedroom, she’s not exactly expecting to find what she does. Or rather she had hoped it wouldn’t be what she found. She’s always considered it an option, but she always hoped it would never come to this. He’s packing; his hands are shaking as he shoves his wardrobe into his canvas duffel- bag.
“Spencer, don’t go, not like this. Derek is being ridiculous; he’s upset and exhausted. Returning to work was very hard for him. You know he’s being irrational. You know he didn’t mean what he said.” When rational doesn’t work, she tries plain begging, “Spencer, please don’t go, I need you, Derek needs you, and Charlotte needs you. Please, stay, please.”
“You don’t need me; I’m just a robot.”
“That’s preposterous, Spence, you knows that’s preposterous.”
“I’ll come get the rest of my things later,” he says slinging his bag over his shoulder.
She makes a last-ditch physical effort as he makes his way down the stairs. She grabs his shoulder and spins him into the wall. She’s kissing him hard, but he doesn’t respond. He keeps his hands at his side and his mouth is slack. She tries valiantly to gain a reaction from him, but she feels like she’s assaulting him, rather she knows she’s assaulting him, but she’s rueful to admit it. She kisses at the spot on his jaw that usually causes the kind of feedback she’s looking for, but the only response is his eyes squeezing shut.
“Spencer, please,” her voice is barely above a whisper and breaks pathetically, then she goes to her dirtiest card, “Don’t be like your father.”
He reacts to that, but it’s nothing more than a grimace and a gaping mouth before he’s wearing a blank face again. He marches to the front door. Derek is sitting with Charlotte propped on his chest in the living room and she can see Spencer’s head turn in their direction. When his shoulders slump a little bit further, she throws her dirtiest look at Derek. She catches Spencer at the door putting his shoes on; she grabs his hand and slides their fingers together. He looks down at their interlaced fingers and tries to pull away.
“Spencer, you can’t tell me this doesn’t mean anything to you,” She emphasizes shaking their clasped hands in his face.
“Just a robot, Emily.”
He exits quickly with a miserable last look at them. Emily slams her hand into the front door when it closes behind him.
~~~~~~
Emily is watching Charlotte attempt to crawl across the living room when the doorbell rings. She scoops up the squirming little girl and holds her on her hip. She looks through the peephole and her heart clenches hopefully.
“Spencer,” she greets happily. His responding grin is hesitant in contrast to the little girl’s excited arm flaps.
“He’s at class,” he asks hesitantly.
“Yeah.”
“I’m here to pick up the rest of my things.”
“Spence,” she sighs.
“Emily, this is for the better. You two were better cut out for parenting than me.”
She shakes her head and gestures for him to come in.
“We’ve missed you,” her arm tightens around the little girl as she flails toward her papa, “Will you hold her, she misses you.”
He hesitates for a moment before reaching out for her. She scrabbles at his face and he closes his eye, kissing the little palm.
“I can’t stay long.”
“You don’t want to have to see him.”
“I see him every day, Emily.”
“But it’s different here, here you’re showing you really do care. Why don’t you want him to know you care?”
“It wouldn’t matter.”
“For shit’s sake, Spence, of course, it matters. It’s why he said those stupid ass things to begin with.”
“It was how he’s always felt about me,” he says as he places the little girl on the floor and lowers himself down next to her.
“You don’t actually believe that,” she responds nudging his shoulder with her foot. He doesn’t respond and plays with Charlotte for a few moments before looking up into Emily’s face.
“You all are better off without me.”
“Bull, fuck Spencer,” Emily barks, “You want to know how better off we are. We haven’t slept in the same bed since you left. We haven’t kissed, haven’t touched, for fuck’s sake, we’ve barely talked. We can barely even look at each other. We only talk to discuss Charlotte. Without you Spence, we’re falling apart.”
“It will get better,” he begins.
“Shut up,” Emily whispers as tears form in her eyes.
“Emily, you don’t need some fucked up ex-junkie with a penchant for schizophrenia.”
“Spencer, we don’t care about that. You’re just making up excuses.”
“I’m protecting you and staying out of Derek’s life like he asked.”
“Stop doing that. I’m a grown-ass woman who can make decisions for myself and I want you. And you know what Derek said wasn’t him. He didn’t mean any of it.”
“He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“As much as I love him, you know as well as I do that Derek is worried that you don’t actually love him, and, right now, you’re proving him right.”
Spencer doesn’t respond. He picks up Charlotte who tugs at his tie and giggles nonsensically. He kisses her affectionately. She belly laughs when he blows raspberries on her stomach.
“I know it’s weak of me, but I need to see her,” he says to Emily as Charlotte tucks herself under his chin. Emily’s eyes glisten and she nods.
“She’s your daughter, Spence; I would never keep you from her.”
“That’s nice of you to say because she’s clearly not mine and I have no rights to her,” he replies and Emily half-snorts, half-sobs. “But I don’t want you to tell him; you can’t tell him.”
“This would prove that you do care.”
“He can’t know.”
“Spencer, this is stupid.”
“If you tell him, I can’t come anymore.”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from him.”
“I know.”
“Why don’t you just come back?”
“Emily.”
“Don’t treat me like a child, Spencer; it’s a perfectly decent question.”
“I just can’t. Not after finding out how Derek truly feels.”
“But it’s not how he feels.”
“It’s what he said.”
“He didn’t mean it; sometimes, people are just spiteful to be spiteful not because it’s how they actually feel.”
“He meant it.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Emily, promise me you won’t tell.”
“I won’t, but I think you should.”
“Are the days he has class a good day?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, as long as we don’t have a case I’ll be here.”
“Okay.”
At this point, they’re at the door. Spencer looks around nostalgically, clutches Charlotte to his chest, breathes in her baby smell, and kisses her gently. They approach the door and Emily wants him to stay still. Emily places a hand on his arm and leans forward to kiss him. He turns his head quickly and it lands on his cheek.
“I will always love you, Spencer.”
“Me too, Emily, me too.”
He kisses Charlotte again before giving her back to Emily. Charlotte whimpers softly and grabs for him. He dodges the little arms and squeezes his eyes closed in obvious pain. His smile is watery as he waves from sidewalk outside. After he’s in his car and drives away, Emily presses Charlotte to her shoulder shushing her daughter’s helpless cries. She kisses the curly hair on her daughter’s head as silent tears glide down her cheeks.
“He left his stuff, little one, he must come back now.”
“Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding.” -Andre Gide
Title: Here Comes Baby (12/?)
Author name: allkindsoffics
Main Pairings: Morgan/Reid/Prentiss
Characters: Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss
Rating: pg (overall nc-17)
Word count: 2222
Warnings/Spoilers: threesome relationship
Part of To Pick Up
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: A miscommunication turns ugly.
Author’s Note: I love feedback, thanks!
They sort of have a routine, but they want Charlotte to sleep better. They want her to have a more regular schedule and Derek and Emily miss Spencer at night when he spends his time rocking Charlotte to sleep. Now with Derek back at work, they have to set up a time just for the three of them. Plus, the schedule needs to be even stricter now that two of them will be leaving interminably. It seems counterintuitive but it’s necessary. They discuss and discuss and finally Spencer suggests the Ferber method. It is a method many people use and they agree upon it, but that’s before they try to implement it.
It’s their fifth night and it’s still pure torture; she’s wailing in her crib. Charlotte’s cries are angry, snotty, and heart-wrenching. They’re trying to finish dinner, but her sobs and hiccupping are making them all push their meals around on their plates. It’s hard to not run up there, scoop her up, and murmur consoling words in her ear. Spencer gets up every seven minutes to check on her, while she’s wailing. Through the baby monitor, Emily and Derek can hear Spencer sing Alison Krauss’s “Baby Mine” as he rubs Charlotte’s back.
Her wails have now turned into little rushes of hiccupped air; she stops crying halfway through the song. It’s not necessarily part of the method, but Spencer has always sung to her and she shushes faster with melodic noise.
He leaves and almost immediately, she’s howling again. He rubs his temple. Derek and Emily are still sitting at the dinner table, pushing around the same amount of food they had on their plates before he left. He tries to smile at them, but it’s strained and their returning looks are equally tense.
They’re five minutes in, when Derek throws down his utensils and walks purposefully up to Charlotte’s room. Spencer follows, because Derek doesn’t do bedtime. It’s not a spoken rule, but it’s kind of always been known. All four spend time together when Derek and Spencer arrive home from work and Derek does her evening feeding before Spencer starts her bedtime routine. It gives Emily a break after all day and gives a very stable routine for Charlotte. They have a routine and Derek is breaking it.
When Spencer finally gets up to Charlotte’s room, Derek has her cradled in his arms, he’s kissing her, and murmuring how much he loves her.
“Derek,” Spencer sighs, “I know this is difficult, but we need to follow the plan. We need to show her that merely crying will not get her out of her crib and we all need the routine.”
“Stop,” Derek says. Spencer’s not quite sure what Derek wants him to stop, so he stands in the doorway, watching Derek cocoon Charlotte. Finally, he tries to explain it again to Derek.
“Derek, I know how hard it is to listen to her cry,” Derek scoffs, but Spencer continues, “But this method does work, we just need to give it some time. If she hasn’t gotten used to it in a week, then we’ll consider a different method. We do need to give it a chance to work, even if it is hard.”
At this point, Emily has reached Charlotte’s room; she doesn’t like the direction this conversation is going. When two out of the three of them get in a fight, the third always tries to be a neutral party. Yet, she can’t help but want to side with Spencer as much as she hates listening to Charlotte cry; she desperately wants adult time after spending all day with her daughter. She places her hand on Spencer’s low back and leans in ever so slightly; she wants to shore up his defenses and give him support.
“Derek…” Emily says gently and he glances at her, but he doesn’t move toward the crib.
“Let’s keep trying with the Ferber method and if it still is not working next week, we’ll try something new,” Spencer says to Derek.
“No, I don’t want to do this anymore,” Derek states firmly.
“Derek,” Spencer begins, but is cut off by Derek’s arm wave.
“You’re not her father, I am, and I say we’re done,” Derek replies.
Spencer and Emily gasp; Spencer is stiff against Emily’s fingers.
“Derek, you don’t mean that,” Emily says gently.
“Yes, I do, he doesn’t understand how much I love her, because he’s like a robot. He mechanically checks on her every seven minutes, like it doesn’t hurt for him to listen to her cry. He never picks her up, he just follows the fucking rules like they’re laws, and there’s no way someone who loves her can just listen to her cry like that. It’s killing you and me, but obviously it doesn’t matter to him. He didn’t even care enough to take a few weeks off his precious job to be with her.”
It’s a distortion of facts and Emily knows Spencer understands that, but it doesn’t stop him from reacting. Spencer removes Emily’s hand from his back and walks purposefully to the master bedroom.
“Derek, what you said is all in your head. This is killing Spencer I can see it in his eyes. You need to apologize, Spencer loves her as much as you and I do, and you insinuating otherwise is appalling. You know only one of you could have the time off and Spencer thought it was best if you had the chance. He sacrificed for you and look what you’re doing in thanks,” Emily accuses.
“I think you’re wrong.”
“I don’t care what you think; what you said was awful and you need to fix this.”
“No, Emily, I can’t. I’m not going to apologize, when I’m not sorry.”
When Emily finally follows Spencer to the master bedroom, she’s not exactly expecting to find what she does. Or rather she had hoped it wouldn’t be what she found. She’s always considered it an option, but she always hoped it would never come to this. He’s packing; his hands are shaking as he shoves his wardrobe into his canvas duffel- bag.
“Spencer, don’t go, not like this. Derek is being ridiculous; he’s upset and exhausted. Returning to work was very hard for him. You know he’s being irrational. You know he didn’t mean what he said.” When rational doesn’t work, she tries plain begging, “Spencer, please don’t go, I need you, Derek needs you, and Charlotte needs you. Please, stay, please.”
“You don’t need me; I’m just a robot.”
“That’s preposterous, Spence, you knows that’s preposterous.”
“I’ll come get the rest of my things later,” he says slinging his bag over his shoulder.
She makes a last-ditch physical effort as he makes his way down the stairs. She grabs his shoulder and spins him into the wall. She’s kissing him hard, but he doesn’t respond. He keeps his hands at his side and his mouth is slack. She tries valiantly to gain a reaction from him, but she feels like she’s assaulting him, rather she knows she’s assaulting him, but she’s rueful to admit it. She kisses at the spot on his jaw that usually causes the kind of feedback she’s looking for, but the only response is his eyes squeezing shut.
“Spencer, please,” her voice is barely above a whisper and breaks pathetically, then she goes to her dirtiest card, “Don’t be like your father.”
He reacts to that, but it’s nothing more than a grimace and a gaping mouth before he’s wearing a blank face again. He marches to the front door. Derek is sitting with Charlotte propped on his chest in the living room and she can see Spencer’s head turn in their direction. When his shoulders slump a little bit further, she throws her dirtiest look at Derek. She catches Spencer at the door putting his shoes on; she grabs his hand and slides their fingers together. He looks down at their interlaced fingers and tries to pull away.
“Spencer, you can’t tell me this doesn’t mean anything to you,” She emphasizes shaking their clasped hands in his face.
“Just a robot, Emily.”
He exits quickly with a miserable last look at them. Emily slams her hand into the front door when it closes behind him.
~~~~~~
Emily is watching Charlotte attempt to crawl across the living room when the doorbell rings. She scoops up the squirming little girl and holds her on her hip. She looks through the peephole and her heart clenches hopefully.
“Spencer,” she greets happily. His responding grin is hesitant in contrast to the little girl’s excited arm flaps.
“He’s at class,” he asks hesitantly.
“Yeah.”
“I’m here to pick up the rest of my things.”
“Spence,” she sighs.
“Emily, this is for the better. You two were better cut out for parenting than me.”
She shakes her head and gestures for him to come in.
“We’ve missed you,” her arm tightens around the little girl as she flails toward her papa, “Will you hold her, she misses you.”
He hesitates for a moment before reaching out for her. She scrabbles at his face and he closes his eye, kissing the little palm.
“I can’t stay long.”
“You don’t want to have to see him.”
“I see him every day, Emily.”
“But it’s different here, here you’re showing you really do care. Why don’t you want him to know you care?”
“It wouldn’t matter.”
“For shit’s sake, Spence, of course, it matters. It’s why he said those stupid ass things to begin with.”
“It was how he’s always felt about me,” he says as he places the little girl on the floor and lowers himself down next to her.
“You don’t actually believe that,” she responds nudging his shoulder with her foot. He doesn’t respond and plays with Charlotte for a few moments before looking up into Emily’s face.
“You all are better off without me.”
“Bull, fuck Spencer,” Emily barks, “You want to know how better off we are. We haven’t slept in the same bed since you left. We haven’t kissed, haven’t touched, for fuck’s sake, we’ve barely talked. We can barely even look at each other. We only talk to discuss Charlotte. Without you Spence, we’re falling apart.”
“It will get better,” he begins.
“Shut up,” Emily whispers as tears form in her eyes.
“Emily, you don’t need some fucked up ex-junkie with a penchant for schizophrenia.”
“Spencer, we don’t care about that. You’re just making up excuses.”
“I’m protecting you and staying out of Derek’s life like he asked.”
“Stop doing that. I’m a grown-ass woman who can make decisions for myself and I want you. And you know what Derek said wasn’t him. He didn’t mean any of it.”
“He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“As much as I love him, you know as well as I do that Derek is worried that you don’t actually love him, and, right now, you’re proving him right.”
Spencer doesn’t respond. He picks up Charlotte who tugs at his tie and giggles nonsensically. He kisses her affectionately. She belly laughs when he blows raspberries on her stomach.
“I know it’s weak of me, but I need to see her,” he says to Emily as Charlotte tucks herself under his chin. Emily’s eyes glisten and she nods.
“She’s your daughter, Spence; I would never keep you from her.”
“That’s nice of you to say because she’s clearly not mine and I have no rights to her,” he replies and Emily half-snorts, half-sobs. “But I don’t want you to tell him; you can’t tell him.”
“This would prove that you do care.”
“He can’t know.”
“Spencer, this is stupid.”
“If you tell him, I can’t come anymore.”
“I don’t like keeping secrets from him.”
“I know.”
“Why don’t you just come back?”
“Emily.”
“Don’t treat me like a child, Spencer; it’s a perfectly decent question.”
“I just can’t. Not after finding out how Derek truly feels.”
“But it’s not how he feels.”
“It’s what he said.”
“He didn’t mean it; sometimes, people are just spiteful to be spiteful not because it’s how they actually feel.”
“He meant it.”
“No, he didn’t.”
“Emily, promise me you won’t tell.”
“I won’t, but I think you should.”
“Are the days he has class a good day?”
“Yeah.”
“Good, as long as we don’t have a case I’ll be here.”
“Okay.”
At this point, they’re at the door. Spencer looks around nostalgically, clutches Charlotte to his chest, breathes in her baby smell, and kisses her gently. They approach the door and Emily wants him to stay still. Emily places a hand on his arm and leans forward to kiss him. He turns his head quickly and it lands on his cheek.
“I will always love you, Spencer.”
“Me too, Emily, me too.”
He kisses Charlotte again before giving her back to Emily. Charlotte whimpers softly and grabs for him. He dodges the little arms and squeezes his eyes closed in obvious pain. His smile is watery as he waves from sidewalk outside. After he’s in his car and drives away, Emily presses Charlotte to her shoulder shushing her daughter’s helpless cries. She kisses the curly hair on her daughter’s head as silent tears glide down her cheeks.
“He left his stuff, little one, he must come back now.”
“Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding.” -Andre Gide