Happiness.... and cheer...
I’ve had an interesting weekend.
Friday started great. Only class I had was English with Hamlet- gotta love the procrastinating freak. Then I went to the blood drive, and held nervous girls hands and untangled iPod headphones and fetched cookies and tried to give off a comforting “vibe” to the donators. Then… THEN! I donated. By myself. Completely alone. Last year, Danny was kind enough to come hold my hand and be there with me-and I love him for it. this year, clearly he couldn’t be there, but someone else could have, couldn’t they? I know so many people in Red Cross. And I mean I’m there for everyone else that day, yet when my moment comes I’m alone? I’m not trying to say I deserved someone cause I was there for others, but it would have been nice.
Anyway, Andrew was there for me when people I know weren’t. And I ended up a lot better than last year. I didn’t leave early and subsequently force someone to carry me to the car. I sat, ate, rested, and kept warm. By the time I got home, though, I was drained. So I watched CSI and napped and took a nice, long shower. And after, I felt so good. Who wouldn’t after 4 hours with Greg, Nick, Grissom, and the other CSIs? I decided I was so good I could go to the mall- but I distinctly remember not wanting to go alone. I asked Mom, and she was leaving to go to a party. So I wasn’t going to go. I really didn’t want to go alone, but I was going to- I needed my glasses for Saturday. So Aunt Marilyn came.
We’re driving along, talking about her son’s recent car breakdown and how my mom used her AAA to get it towed for him. I start thinking about the last time I was in a car that had to be towed- way back when I had braces. I was at Dr. Z’s when my mom’s car wouldn’t start when we were leaving. Stuck in hell, you could say. Long time ago. Then I think the only car accident I remember- I’ve been in 2: one when I was 2 and I don’t remember it, and one when I was 10ish. We were on our way to Disneyland and some guy rear-ended us on the freeway. Not too bad, some neck pain- nothing major. I remember dad getting out of the car and exchanging information and wondering what exactly they were exchanging.
We got to that non-light by the mall. I looked over at Marilyn, and saw these creepy guys in the car to our right staring at us. I looked forward and told her not to look, and she did. She turns to me and says, “they wont be staring anymore.” Why… exactly? What did you do to them. “I gave ‘em the stink eye,” she says. We laugh, I look forward, and the light is green so I go.
I don’t remember exactly what happened next. She screamed; slammed on breaks; loud; screech; crash; lights; is she okay? screaming; yelling; honking; bumper flying; not moving; shaking; get the car out of the intersection; not getting out; sitting; shaking; cold; scared; shocked; what just happened?; alone.
I think she said something to me before she got out, but I don’t remember what it was. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get out. I couldn’t stop shaking. So I did the only thing I could think of. I called Danny. And it rang; and rang; and rang. And I listened. “Hi, this is Danny, I’m not here right now…” and then I sat up. I looked around. I crawled over the seat and got out. I was still shaking, and still very cold- but I got out.
Emily! get paper; write down her info; call dad; what do I do? Her number; her insurance; her license plate number; her driver’s license number. Exchange information. Sit down; stop shaking; calm down; just breathe; in and out; just breathe; call Danny again.
That time I talked to him, told him what happened and felt better. Dad came and called AAA and Marilyn and I went in to get my glasses. We said hi to Amber, got the glasses, went back to Macy’s. I smelled Obsession and then put it on my wrists. It was comforting.
Later that night, we ended up in the ER- to make sure we weren’t hurt worse than we thought- adrenaline has that effect on you, you know. I wasn’t hurt worse than I thought; I know how I feel thank you very much. Dad took me home and I went right to sleep- but not after talking to my rock one more time.
Normal Fridays are uneventful. What happened to normal?
I had a great Saturday and Sunday though. Near made up for Friday. I felt so much better. Comfortable, happy, rejuvenated, great. Maybe Los Angeles has that effect on me. Or maybe, just maybe, Danny has that effect on me.