couples_therapy: 43.5. Discuss an issue your partner helped you deal with
43.5. Discuss an issue your partner helped you deal with (from Week 42)
CANON VERSE: FROM EPISODE 5x07 "THE ITCH" - CONTAINS SPOILERS
You know the saying ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’? Just as accurately comes, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it threatens to go’. Time seems to tick away so quickly, that I sometimes find myself wondering how the hell Chase and I have survived in a relationship as long as we have. Something that was built on nothing but raw sex didn’t seem to have the foundation for staying power. In fact, I never expected it to last.
There. I said it.
I expected us to try this relationship thing and fail at it because our work history together wasn’t exactly squeaky clean. Our ideas and morals always clashed. He always seemed to be on another page to me. Between the sheets, we worked well together, but sex is sex. It’s hardly damn rocket science, is it? When I went to him after he got fired, it was a curiosity sheathed in a myriad of ‘what ifs’. I figured it was worth a chance to just see what happened between us without friction of working together.
Then suddenly we’re a year and a half down the track and still together. It hasn’t been a romance filled with hearts and flowers (though, I have learnt that Robert Chase is a true romantic at heart). In fact, we had more than our fair share of tension and issues. I don’t know if deep down we’re destined to be together forever, but right now we seem to work. He was right, though. I had been keeping him at a safe arms length (if not further) for the entirety of our relationship. It wasn’t that I was fearful of losing someone else because my husband had died in the past. I just didn’t know if I really wanted to ever be a joint unit with anyone again. I liked being Allison Cameron, independent and not reliant on anyone. I didn’t want to share the security I had constructed of knowing I would always be okay if I had control of a situation… of my situation.
I married my husband because I wanted to help him see out his last days happy, but it was also because I felt a sense of obligation to him. It was that obligation that I wasn’t sure I wanted again because that would mean someone else would have the same obligation in return. If I let someone else into my world, it meant releasing a part of me I didn’t know if I wanted to let go of.
A relationship should be give and take from both sides. Somewhere along the line, I forgot that. It was easy to take what Chase gave because he gave it so freely and openly, but when he needed something in return it was easier for me to push him away in case he took something I wasn’t ready to give. I was always the opposite of him. I could give to anyone who needed help, but my heart was another story. When Chase told me he knew I didn’t want him here, it was like a rough tug back to reality. Had I really been making him feel like I didn’t want him?
We had gone along for so long just existing in this relationship together without really knowing what it was or where it was going. It seemed to be working, but we both had enough distractions on our plate to have excuses not to address where we were heading together. Then suddenly it’s there and he’s standing there telling me how he feels and what he wants. It threw me. A year and a half of lulling myself into a false sense of security that I wouldn’t need to change anything and it would all continue on just fine. Then it changed, with one conversation.
He made me realise that nothing, not even myself, was ever going to stay the same, and that it was okay to change… not just for me, but for someone else beside me.
Partner | Dr Robert Chase [chasemd] (Canon)
Word Count | 673
CANON VERSE: FROM EPISODE 5x07 "THE ITCH" - CONTAINS SPOILERS
You know the saying ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’? Just as accurately comes, ‘You don’t know what you’ve got til it threatens to go’. Time seems to tick away so quickly, that I sometimes find myself wondering how the hell Chase and I have survived in a relationship as long as we have. Something that was built on nothing but raw sex didn’t seem to have the foundation for staying power. In fact, I never expected it to last.
There. I said it.
I expected us to try this relationship thing and fail at it because our work history together wasn’t exactly squeaky clean. Our ideas and morals always clashed. He always seemed to be on another page to me. Between the sheets, we worked well together, but sex is sex. It’s hardly damn rocket science, is it? When I went to him after he got fired, it was a curiosity sheathed in a myriad of ‘what ifs’. I figured it was worth a chance to just see what happened between us without friction of working together.
Then suddenly we’re a year and a half down the track and still together. It hasn’t been a romance filled with hearts and flowers (though, I have learnt that Robert Chase is a true romantic at heart). In fact, we had more than our fair share of tension and issues. I don’t know if deep down we’re destined to be together forever, but right now we seem to work. He was right, though. I had been keeping him at a safe arms length (if not further) for the entirety of our relationship. It wasn’t that I was fearful of losing someone else because my husband had died in the past. I just didn’t know if I really wanted to ever be a joint unit with anyone again. I liked being Allison Cameron, independent and not reliant on anyone. I didn’t want to share the security I had constructed of knowing I would always be okay if I had control of a situation… of my situation.
I married my husband because I wanted to help him see out his last days happy, but it was also because I felt a sense of obligation to him. It was that obligation that I wasn’t sure I wanted again because that would mean someone else would have the same obligation in return. If I let someone else into my world, it meant releasing a part of me I didn’t know if I wanted to let go of.
A relationship should be give and take from both sides. Somewhere along the line, I forgot that. It was easy to take what Chase gave because he gave it so freely and openly, but when he needed something in return it was easier for me to push him away in case he took something I wasn’t ready to give. I was always the opposite of him. I could give to anyone who needed help, but my heart was another story. When Chase told me he knew I didn’t want him here, it was like a rough tug back to reality. Had I really been making him feel like I didn’t want him?
We had gone along for so long just existing in this relationship together without really knowing what it was or where it was going. It seemed to be working, but we both had enough distractions on our plate to have excuses not to address where we were heading together. Then suddenly it’s there and he’s standing there telling me how he feels and what he wants. It threw me. A year and a half of lulling myself into a false sense of security that I wouldn’t need to change anything and it would all continue on just fine. Then it changed, with one conversation.
He made me realise that nothing, not even myself, was ever going to stay the same, and that it was okay to change… not just for me, but for someone else beside me.
Partner | Dr Robert Chase [chasemd] (Canon)
Word Count | 673