(no subject)
so, things are going relatively well on my end
not a whole lot is happening, to be honest
still smooth sailing for this portion of the pregnancy
but there are starting to be more and more annoying little things cropping up
like not being able to see my own genitalia anymore
or shave my legs easily
or get up from a reclining or sitting position without some serious effort
or bend over gracefully
it just doesn't happen
people are laughing at me at work (and at home, Jamie thinks it's a hoot to watch me get out of bed)
the time for maternity leave is nearing
my boss heads out for Germany after tomorrow and won't be back until, pretty much just in time for the baby shower
which in and of itself is a scary thing, because that means we're six weeks away, roughly, from the big day
and speaking of showers
I feel wrong and vaguely weird looking at coworkers or friends and highly suspecting that they feel obligated to buy me something for the baby just because they received an invitation
yes, it's nice and wonderful and great if people do it
but I feel like I'm making them obligated, leaving them no choice
and that feels weird to me
"hey, I got knocked up, spend money on us"
so when I looked at my registry to update things and found that somebody (or several somebodies) have already bought four items, I totally flipped out
and it's also a reason I didn't invite any volunteers to the shower because they harbor enough negative emotions towards staff, I don't need this adding to that silliness
I'm just slightly weirded out by basically asking for charity when I did this to myself
I feel like if I can get pregnant, I should be able to go out and buy all of this stuff and take care of us
and whether or not that is true, that's how I feel
so I am conflicted about the whole shower stuff
I think it'll be fun since I didn't get a birthday party this year
but it's not really for me, it's for my munchkin and that's fine
she already makes me smile
sigh
nothing is ever simple, is it?
no, no it's not
not a whole lot is happening, to be honest
still smooth sailing for this portion of the pregnancy
but there are starting to be more and more annoying little things cropping up
like not being able to see my own genitalia anymore
or shave my legs easily
or get up from a reclining or sitting position without some serious effort
or bend over gracefully
it just doesn't happen
people are laughing at me at work (and at home, Jamie thinks it's a hoot to watch me get out of bed)
the time for maternity leave is nearing
my boss heads out for Germany after tomorrow and won't be back until, pretty much just in time for the baby shower
which in and of itself is a scary thing, because that means we're six weeks away, roughly, from the big day
and speaking of showers
I feel wrong and vaguely weird looking at coworkers or friends and highly suspecting that they feel obligated to buy me something for the baby just because they received an invitation
yes, it's nice and wonderful and great if people do it
but I feel like I'm making them obligated, leaving them no choice
and that feels weird to me
"hey, I got knocked up, spend money on us"
so when I looked at my registry to update things and found that somebody (or several somebodies) have already bought four items, I totally flipped out
and it's also a reason I didn't invite any volunteers to the shower because they harbor enough negative emotions towards staff, I don't need this adding to that silliness
I'm just slightly weirded out by basically asking for charity when I did this to myself
I feel like if I can get pregnant, I should be able to go out and buy all of this stuff and take care of us
and whether or not that is true, that's how I feel
so I am conflicted about the whole shower stuff
I think it'll be fun since I didn't get a birthday party this year
but it's not really for me, it's for my munchkin and that's fine
she already makes me smile
sigh
nothing is ever simple, is it?
no, no it's not