Well they say
If you lose your faith you lose your soul...
well i've got nothing left to lose..
I've been thinking of writing in here but now that i'm sitting here staring at this semi-blank page i can't find the words to express how i feel. Isn't that how it always goes? I use to be able to poetically infuse my feelings...i guess that it's easier to put depressing, dark emotions into poems and writings. I'm feeling kind of dark these days, but not so much that i can express it right now. I guess more than anything i feel alone and worthless and see, can't even find another word to describe how i've been feeling the past couple of weeks.
Anyway, my birthday is in exactly a week. I turn 21, the big Two One.
I was listening to taking back sunday's song "you're so last summer" while cleaning the kitchen and i was thinking back to the last time i heard that song and really enjoyed it. I was in someones car, i think maybe charlie's. Bac was sitting up front, and someone was beside me, i want to say tristan and maybe graham was there too. But i remember we had all the windows down, charlie cranked it up and we all screamed the song out. I think we were on the way to the cary house to drink some beers but right then it didn't matter about drinking, or love or fun or loneliness...i think back like it was some magical moment but i know that it wasn't. But in my mind it's this moment that's suspended in time. Weird how a song can bring back a memory so clearly, one that i probably wouldn't have thought of if it hadn't of come on.
I miss those times where i could get in a car with friends and go anywhere and not have to worry about where i was going or who i would be hanging out with. I guess the older you get the more people you have that hate you, or don't want you around, and then theres those people i just don't trust to be around. but it was more fun to be carefree. I do like having someone care about where i am though, i'm not saying i don't.
Don't you hate when people are like "Oh, i hope you're not [enter emotion]" Because if they say that they obviously feel like you are feeling that way or that they think you should be feeling that way. Does that make sense? I'll make it more clear. I hate it when people say "Oh i hope you're not mad because of so and so" That means this person thinks i am mad, or thinks that i should be mad. Stupid. I don't know why i brought that up...it's kind of an incomplete thought in my head and it seems more incomplete out loud.
oh well.
Okay i think i'm done ranting right now. Kinda a random entry, sorry if it was sorta dark, cause i'm in a weird mood right now. Take it easy
well i've got nothing left to lose..
I've been thinking of writing in here but now that i'm sitting here staring at this semi-blank page i can't find the words to express how i feel. Isn't that how it always goes? I use to be able to poetically infuse my feelings...i guess that it's easier to put depressing, dark emotions into poems and writings. I'm feeling kind of dark these days, but not so much that i can express it right now. I guess more than anything i feel alone and worthless and see, can't even find another word to describe how i've been feeling the past couple of weeks.
Anyway, my birthday is in exactly a week. I turn 21, the big Two One.
I was listening to taking back sunday's song "you're so last summer" while cleaning the kitchen and i was thinking back to the last time i heard that song and really enjoyed it. I was in someones car, i think maybe charlie's. Bac was sitting up front, and someone was beside me, i want to say tristan and maybe graham was there too. But i remember we had all the windows down, charlie cranked it up and we all screamed the song out. I think we were on the way to the cary house to drink some beers but right then it didn't matter about drinking, or love or fun or loneliness...i think back like it was some magical moment but i know that it wasn't. But in my mind it's this moment that's suspended in time. Weird how a song can bring back a memory so clearly, one that i probably wouldn't have thought of if it hadn't of come on.
I miss those times where i could get in a car with friends and go anywhere and not have to worry about where i was going or who i would be hanging out with. I guess the older you get the more people you have that hate you, or don't want you around, and then theres those people i just don't trust to be around. but it was more fun to be carefree. I do like having someone care about where i am though, i'm not saying i don't.
Don't you hate when people are like "Oh, i hope you're not [enter emotion]" Because if they say that they obviously feel like you are feeling that way or that they think you should be feeling that way. Does that make sense? I'll make it more clear. I hate it when people say "Oh i hope you're not mad because of so and so" That means this person thinks i am mad, or thinks that i should be mad. Stupid. I don't know why i brought that up...it's kind of an incomplete thought in my head and it seems more incomplete out loud.
oh well.
Okay i think i'm done ranting right now. Kinda a random entry, sorry if it was sorta dark, cause i'm in a weird mood right now. Take it easy