Oh geez.........I just saw.
anonymous
August 3 2010, 22:51:14 UTC
Nicole, I just saw on the Flint Journal's website that your dad passed away last week. I am so, so sorry for your loss that words cannot describe it.
When you would not update your LJ in the last year or so, I would check the Flint obituaries every 3 or 4 weeks just PRAYING I would not see your dad's name. It was something I just dreaded doing too. I would let out a sigh of relief when I would not see his name. This time it felt like I got kicked in the stomach.
With everything going on in your life, I did not want to pester you for updates. I just hoped and prayed that things were going well for you. I'm tremendously saddened to see that at least where your father is concerned that was not the case.
I can't even say that I know what you are going through even though I went through similar things with my dad three years ago. But in my dad's case, he was much older, had lived a full life and with what he was suffering from (Congestive Heart Failure and advanced Alzheimers), when he passed it was definately "time" and it came as a relief to me. But you are much younger than I was when going through this as was your dad. So although I don't know exactly what you are going through, I know it is much, much worse than what I did.
I know how much you loved your dad and I obviously did not know him but from things you said, I could read between the lines and knew he loved you and was very proud of you. Don't ever think that was not the case.
I have no idea what is going on in your life presently but I hope you are doing well despite this awful loss. You are a lot stronger than you think and I have always viewed you as a very strong person even when you were in a dark period. I hope you are still progressing as it seemed you were last time you updated. I always hoped that you were happy and doing well and I have an immense amount of confidence in you that you can and will overcome any obstacles in your path.
Prayers sent to all in your family with this tragic loss. It is times like this when you need to stick together and lean on each other for support.
Again Nicole, I am so sorry to hear of this untimely passing of your father. To be honest when I saw the obituary, it just broke my heart. Please stay strong and know you have people pulling for you in a time like this.
Re: Oh geez.........I just saw.allfiredup86August 7 2010, 00:10:47 UTC
sorry, it has been quite awhile.
yes, Dad finally passed away 2 Sundays ago. everyone was home when it happened, and since Monica was away on work term, I had a very good feeling that once she was here, it'd be done. not in a negative way, he just got really sick really fast there at the end. & living through that last night with him is not something I would ever want to do again.
i meant to update this within that first week, but internet in the house has been unbelievably spotty here.
planning on moving out soonish. i met someone, though the circumstances are dicey at this point, but it also just so happens that i am 10 weeks pregnant, something i hope my brother doesn't read over my shoulder as I'm not allowed to tell either of them just yet. to answer any questions about that: yes, the father & i are both verrrry excited. & even though i was scared shitless to tell my mom at first, i think it is a good thing that it's happening now - she's coming around & now she'll have something to look forward to.
school - well, i failed out again. i'm planning on getting it overturned, due to the circumstances, but i haven't had the time. i'm not sure if i'll go back in the fall, and i'm sure i won't have time in the winter, but one day, i'd like to finish A degree, at least. haha.
thank you for your kindness...i'd have liked you to find out directly from me, but at least you know.
not sure if Shandra reads this - but dear, you're going to have to give me a minute on the twitter thing, lol. i haven't been into that account since the day i opened it, & now i'm going to have to figure out how to send you a message. :)
Re: Oh geez.........I just saw.
anonymous
August 7 2010, 21:33:06 UTC
I fully understand that with everything going on in your life that updating your LJ to inform one person about your dad would not be high on your list of priorities. I had not checked the Flint Journal's website in about a month and a half and just had a bad feeling when I went there this time. I also understood that with everything going on in your life back in February that updates would be few and far between.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that final night. It had to be horrible for all of you. There just is no good way for a loved one to leave. If they pass suddenly, you don't have a chance to say good bye. If they pass away slowly, you have to watch them suffer. Either way, it is a tough, tough thing. We both went through the latter scenario almost exactly three years apart as my dad passed away in late July also. And oddly enough, we both went through the same thing in two of the hottest Summers in memory.
I hope your brothers, sister and mom are doing OK with this tragic loss. Gosh, Gavin is so young too......I cannot imagine!
I'm happy you are excited with this pregnancy and because you are, I want to congratulate you and very much hope that things work out for you and the child and in your relationship with the father.
I'm not just saying this to be nice, but I think you'll make a wonderful mother because of all you have been through in the last 5-6 years. You have been Baptized by Fire so to speak and with the tremendous amount of traumatic things you have been through in that short time, I think you are wise beyond your years and stronger than just about anyone I know. You have been through more strife in the short time I have known you than most people endure in a lifetime. And you are STILL standing.......which says a tremendous amount about your inner strength.
I'm sure the news of your pregnancy hit your mom like a bolt of lightning. I don't know your mom, but I know "her kind" and she will always be there for you. It is just the way people like her are made up and you should be very thankful you have her as your mom. And if you don't realize that now, you will some day.
I had a feeling from your last update that you probably had dropped out of school and with all that was going on it is understandable. I hope someday when your life is more even keel that you'll go back and get your degree. God, you are just so freaking smart it is scary and I hope you take advantage of that gift at some point down the road.
I know you can't update like before and I understand that. Just know you have a friend in me that really, really hopes that you will be well and be happy. I mean that sincerely. You are one of my favorite people ever (and also one of my most aggravating ones too! LOL!). Just know that I care a lot about you as a person and as a friend even though we are not in touch anywhere near as much as before.
Again, I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing and I'll be praying that you and your family will get through this as well as can be expected. I hope you can update when you have the time but if not just know I'll be thinking about you and hoping you are well.
Nicole, I just saw on the Flint Journal's website that your dad passed away last week. I am so, so sorry for your loss that words cannot describe it.
When you would not update your LJ in the last year or so, I would check the Flint obituaries every 3 or 4 weeks just PRAYING I would not see your dad's name. It was something I just dreaded doing too. I would let out a sigh of relief when I would not see his name. This time it felt like I got kicked in the stomach.
With everything going on in your life, I did not want to pester you for updates. I just hoped and prayed that things were going well for you. I'm tremendously saddened to see that at least where your father is concerned that was not the case.
I can't even say that I know what you are going through even though I went through similar things with my dad three years ago. But in my dad's case, he was much older, had lived a full life and with what he was suffering from (Congestive Heart Failure and advanced Alzheimers), when he passed it was definately "time" and it came as a relief to me. But you are much younger than I was when going through this as was your dad. So although I don't know exactly what you are going through, I know it is much, much worse than what I did.
I know how much you loved your dad and I obviously did not know him but from things you said, I could read between the lines and knew he loved you and was very proud of you. Don't ever think that was not the case.
I have no idea what is going on in your life presently but I hope you are doing well despite this awful loss. You are a lot stronger than you think and I have always viewed you as a very strong person even when you were in a dark period. I hope you are still progressing as it seemed you were last time you updated. I always hoped that you were happy and doing well and I have an immense amount of confidence in you that you can and will overcome any obstacles in your path.
Prayers sent to all in your family with this tragic loss. It is times like this when you need to stick together and lean on each other for support.
Again Nicole, I am so sorry to hear of this untimely passing of your father. To be honest when I saw the obituary, it just broke my heart. Please stay strong and know you have people pulling for you in a time like this.
Jeff
Reply
yes, Dad finally passed away 2 Sundays ago. everyone was home when it happened, and since Monica was away on work term, I had a very good feeling that once she was here, it'd be done. not in a negative way, he just got really sick really fast there at the end. & living through that last night with him is not something I would ever want to do again.
i meant to update this within that first week, but internet in the house has been unbelievably spotty here.
planning on moving out soonish. i met someone, though the circumstances are dicey at this point, but it also just so happens that i am 10 weeks pregnant, something i hope my brother doesn't read over my shoulder as I'm not allowed to tell either of them just yet. to answer any questions about that: yes, the father & i are both verrrry excited. & even though i was scared shitless to tell my mom at first, i think it is a good thing that it's happening now - she's coming around & now she'll have something to look forward to.
school - well, i failed out again. i'm planning on getting it overturned, due to the circumstances, but i haven't had the time. i'm not sure if i'll go back in the fall, and i'm sure i won't have time in the winter, but one day, i'd like to finish A degree, at least. haha.
thank you for your kindness...i'd have liked you to find out directly from me, but at least you know.
not sure if Shandra reads this - but dear, you're going to have to give me a minute on the twitter thing, lol. i haven't been into that account since the day i opened it, & now i'm going to have to figure out how to send you a message. :)
Reply
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that final night. It had to be horrible for all of you. There just is no good way for a loved one to leave. If they pass suddenly, you don't have a chance to say good bye. If they pass away slowly, you have to watch them suffer. Either way, it is a tough, tough thing. We both went through the latter scenario almost exactly three years apart as my dad passed away in late July also. And oddly enough, we both went through the same thing in two of the hottest Summers in memory.
I hope your brothers, sister and mom are doing OK with this tragic loss. Gosh, Gavin is so young too......I cannot imagine!
I'm happy you are excited with this pregnancy and because you are, I want to congratulate you and very much hope that things work out for you and the child and in your relationship with the father.
I'm not just saying this to be nice, but I think you'll make a wonderful mother because of all you have been through in the last 5-6 years. You have been Baptized by Fire so to speak and with the tremendous amount of traumatic things you have been through in that short time, I think you are wise beyond your years and stronger than just about anyone I know. You have been through more strife in the short time I have known you than most people endure in a lifetime. And you are STILL standing.......which says a tremendous amount about your inner strength.
I'm sure the news of your pregnancy hit your mom like a bolt of lightning. I don't know your mom, but I know "her kind" and she will always be there for you. It is just the way people like her are made up and you should be very thankful you have her as your mom. And if you don't realize that now, you will some day.
I had a feeling from your last update that you probably had dropped out of school and with all that was going on it is understandable. I hope someday when your life is more even keel that you'll go back and get your degree. God, you are just so freaking smart it is scary and I hope you take advantage of that gift at some point down the road.
I know you can't update like before and I understand that. Just know you have a friend in me that really, really hopes that you will be well and be happy. I mean that sincerely. You are one of my favorite people ever (and also one of my most aggravating ones too! LOL!). Just know that I care a lot about you as a person and as a friend even though we are not in touch anywhere near as much as before.
Again, I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing and I'll be praying that you and your family will get through this as well as can be expected. I hope you can update when you have the time but if not just know I'll be thinking about you and hoping you are well.
Nicole, you stay strong and be good to yourself.
Reply
Leave a comment