Broken
There is not enough super glue in the world to mend the shattered, fractured pieces of shard from my broken, achey heart. I am not sure how I'll get past this. Not this time. Not like the last. Completely out of the blue. No warning.
I would die if I lost my husband. And all I can keep thinking is him leaving me. Second time, it seems I've got one more chance before three strikes, you're out.
='[
I wish I could bless him with a child. I do with all my heart. And if I can't, I'll let him go so he can with someone else. I couldn't bare to hold him back.
This couldn't have happened at a shittier time either. Birthday is next Sunday, the 29th. I'll be 25. All I want to do is stay in bed for it. Who cares anyway. I sure don't.
Its 3am, I've been up, reading the last book of fifty shades of grey (darker) . I've enjoyed the trilogy thus far. Its got me captivated.
Today I was making dinner and blood started dripping down my legs. Mark wanted to take me in, but how pointless. I hate hospitals. I really do. I cannot fathom having to get a d&c ever again.
I miss my baby. I miss the hardness I felt. I miss seeing my husband smile. If I could only say sorry more then a few times a day that I do already, and have him forgive me. That look in his eyes, when his brow creases, my heart breaks all over again.
I am so very, gut wrenchingly sorry. You have to believe me.
I would die if I lost my husband. And all I can keep thinking is him leaving me. Second time, it seems I've got one more chance before three strikes, you're out.
='[
I wish I could bless him with a child. I do with all my heart. And if I can't, I'll let him go so he can with someone else. I couldn't bare to hold him back.
This couldn't have happened at a shittier time either. Birthday is next Sunday, the 29th. I'll be 25. All I want to do is stay in bed for it. Who cares anyway. I sure don't.
Its 3am, I've been up, reading the last book of fifty shades of grey (darker) . I've enjoyed the trilogy thus far. Its got me captivated.
Today I was making dinner and blood started dripping down my legs. Mark wanted to take me in, but how pointless. I hate hospitals. I really do. I cannot fathom having to get a d&c ever again.
I miss my baby. I miss the hardness I felt. I miss seeing my husband smile. If I could only say sorry more then a few times a day that I do already, and have him forgive me. That look in his eyes, when his brow creases, my heart breaks all over again.
I am so very, gut wrenchingly sorry. You have to believe me.