dearest you
dearest you,
I didn't expect to get to know you the way I did. I most certainly didn't think we would go past the emails. then you started to call, and we talked for hours everyday. hundreds of emails everyday on top of the calls. I became infatuated with you quickly. you moved into my heart. you replaced everything that he wasn't giving me. you gave me hope for a better life and faith that I can do it without anyone. you made me smile when I was down and frown when you weren't around. you listened to me cry and you promised to always be there. you gave me courage to stand up to him and not be smacked around. you stayed on the phone with me as I cried myself to sleep while he yelled in the background. you wrote me sweet nothing's to help transition my move to my aunts. you sent me the best present ever, a cow blanket which I sleep with every night. to help comfort me when feeling all is lost.
after four long months you came back like a knight who road back to the castle on his trusty steed. I waited and waited. nothing. not a glimpse of you at all. discouraged and sad I thought of all that I let go of for this moment that wont ever exist. and then one day after giving up all hope you texted and said you had to see me. I took a shower and wore some cute old clothes and squealed in excitement all the way there. watching you pull up next to me... taking my breath away..our first embrace, the smell of you're skin and the sincerity of you're hugs...I knew I had fallen for you.
you were the best man I had ever met. the way you kissed me. the way you looked into my eyes. I knew you were going to break my heart. I saw you a few days later for dinner. and again two weeks after that for a BBQ. and then you shut me out. ignored me. stopped being the man I knew and came to love. you then left for a month for vacation where again we hardly spoke and then you promised to see me one time when you got back before leaving again for training until August. you didn't see me. you didn't call or text. I sat and wondered what had I done? I missed you. I learned to live without you. without anyone.
then one day you text me a hi. my heart skips a beat and we talk. first time you had called in over a month. hearing you're voice, listening to you're laugh. knowing you were talking to me and I had you're attention ... it brought it all back. a few casual texts over the next week and a half nothing big.. then today you slap me with it. you texted and said she's back in the picture. eventually, maybe, possibly are the words you used. I couldn't believe it. but its right for the kids. she's staying in north Carolina though with them until you join them next march when you get stationed back there.
you want me. you want to be with me until you go back. that is what you said. I'm the other woman. the one I swore I'd never be because I couldn't stomach it. but I am not sure if I can stomach you going back to her either. we webcammed this evening. first time I've seen you're face in two months. god you're beautiful. you took my breath away. like you did the very first time. we laughed and giggled and you said everything I wanted to hear like you always do.
when we logged off I texted you and told you how much I missed you. you replied and said my new hair was amazingly cute and you missed me too. you asked if I'd be around tomorrow to talk. I asked if there was anything wrong, expecting the worst, of course. you said no, that you like me and want to talk to me tomorrow webcam or not but at least talking. I fell back into this heart break again. August certainly can't come soon enough. where you've said I could come over and see you.. spend nights and be with you.
you know I will. I just wish you knew how this was going for me and I wish you could see and feel the love in ny heart that I have for you. I just pray I love the idea of you're existence rather tjen the. actual you. we'll see in August now wont we? please don't make me regret this.
--the girl who hangs on
I didn't expect to get to know you the way I did. I most certainly didn't think we would go past the emails. then you started to call, and we talked for hours everyday. hundreds of emails everyday on top of the calls. I became infatuated with you quickly. you moved into my heart. you replaced everything that he wasn't giving me. you gave me hope for a better life and faith that I can do it without anyone. you made me smile when I was down and frown when you weren't around. you listened to me cry and you promised to always be there. you gave me courage to stand up to him and not be smacked around. you stayed on the phone with me as I cried myself to sleep while he yelled in the background. you wrote me sweet nothing's to help transition my move to my aunts. you sent me the best present ever, a cow blanket which I sleep with every night. to help comfort me when feeling all is lost.
after four long months you came back like a knight who road back to the castle on his trusty steed. I waited and waited. nothing. not a glimpse of you at all. discouraged and sad I thought of all that I let go of for this moment that wont ever exist. and then one day after giving up all hope you texted and said you had to see me. I took a shower and wore some cute old clothes and squealed in excitement all the way there. watching you pull up next to me... taking my breath away..our first embrace, the smell of you're skin and the sincerity of you're hugs...I knew I had fallen for you.
you were the best man I had ever met. the way you kissed me. the way you looked into my eyes. I knew you were going to break my heart. I saw you a few days later for dinner. and again two weeks after that for a BBQ. and then you shut me out. ignored me. stopped being the man I knew and came to love. you then left for a month for vacation where again we hardly spoke and then you promised to see me one time when you got back before leaving again for training until August. you didn't see me. you didn't call or text. I sat and wondered what had I done? I missed you. I learned to live without you. without anyone.
then one day you text me a hi. my heart skips a beat and we talk. first time you had called in over a month. hearing you're voice, listening to you're laugh. knowing you were talking to me and I had you're attention ... it brought it all back. a few casual texts over the next week and a half nothing big.. then today you slap me with it. you texted and said she's back in the picture. eventually, maybe, possibly are the words you used. I couldn't believe it. but its right for the kids. she's staying in north Carolina though with them until you join them next march when you get stationed back there.
you want me. you want to be with me until you go back. that is what you said. I'm the other woman. the one I swore I'd never be because I couldn't stomach it. but I am not sure if I can stomach you going back to her either. we webcammed this evening. first time I've seen you're face in two months. god you're beautiful. you took my breath away. like you did the very first time. we laughed and giggled and you said everything I wanted to hear like you always do.
when we logged off I texted you and told you how much I missed you. you replied and said my new hair was amazingly cute and you missed me too. you asked if I'd be around tomorrow to talk. I asked if there was anything wrong, expecting the worst, of course. you said no, that you like me and want to talk to me tomorrow webcam or not but at least talking. I fell back into this heart break again. August certainly can't come soon enough. where you've said I could come over and see you.. spend nights and be with you.
you know I will. I just wish you knew how this was going for me and I wish you could see and feel the love in ny heart that I have for you. I just pray I love the idea of you're existence rather tjen the. actual you. we'll see in August now wont we? please don't make me regret this.
--the girl who hangs on