Update + a book
Let me begin with the Citizenship Ceremony for my soon-to-officially be my ex-husband. I'm so glad I did this. For one, it was a kind of closure. We've been doing this immigration shit for as long as we've known each other (12 years +) and this is really a full-circle thing.
It was yet another reminder that our government is weird and that NY courthouses are really weird and don't run in logical ways. It wasn't that "ceremonial" and yet people were excited. The judge did this thing where she named all the countries represented and people raised their hand -- quite a few and a reminder of how diverse this nation is. She also talked about that, and she was kind of nice and I really liked her.
Former Mr A was VERY happy I was there. He knows morning isn't my best time, ha ha. And waiting in a separate, very chilly room for three hours while they did their secret "here's how to vote" or whatever, was slow torture. I took two naps, drank tons of coffee, read the NYTimes front to back (CIA Torture report, joy) and finished my book (see below). I was happy for him, and happy to be there for him.
We went out for a celebratory lunch after and had some champagne and some wine and it was really nice. I took a pic of him with his citizenship document and posted to Facebook and Instagram and so all the friends and family were happy. People who know about our split might have been confused and those who don't know were probably wondering why he suddenly popped up in my feeds. He was warm, kind, communicative. Conversation was easy. After, at a bar for one last, I said, "well, Saturday was AWFUL." And he said "Oh yeah. I know it's hard for you, it's hard for me, but I guess it had to be that way and now we will probably make better friends."
It meant a lot to me, you guys, because he's right. We had to get some anger out (the rest will come out in therapy or whatever), and now we can possibly, hopefully be friends/family. He's not a bad guy. I saw glimpses of the man I married (whew! For a minute there I thought I had the worst possible taste and married an asshole!)
Onward with the paperwork!
Okay, enough of that stuff (hilarity in dating stories later).
WHAT I READ:
I just finished The Stranger's Child by Alan Hollinghurst. You may know him from The Line of Beauty. He is often compared to Henry James and that is apt. He describes things with such an amazing eye for detail and everything comes alive. And hello, much gay subtext (and in Hollinghurst, sub and text).
No spoilers, but this book starts in the past and ends in the present and shows how stories are remembered, changed and hinted at. The most poignant secret may or may not be revealed, but you as the reader know it, and won't forget it. Different points of view lead to surprising revelations; a character you may like will be viewed as distasteful in another person's eyes. This gives things a multi-faceted view. However, time is condensed and a lot of "action" events happen off-screen, so you get a few disconcerting moments where you're thrust forward and unsure of what's happened until it's mentioned casually by a character. It fit well with the theme of the book as we're all trying to piece together the past with snippets of what's written and said and done.
Plus the gay kissing and sex and stuff. It's lovely.
If you wanted to,you could read this entry on Dreamwidth too, friend me there, or you know, bake a cake. Whatever you like. (
comments)
It was yet another reminder that our government is weird and that NY courthouses are really weird and don't run in logical ways. It wasn't that "ceremonial" and yet people were excited. The judge did this thing where she named all the countries represented and people raised their hand -- quite a few and a reminder of how diverse this nation is. She also talked about that, and she was kind of nice and I really liked her.
Former Mr A was VERY happy I was there. He knows morning isn't my best time, ha ha. And waiting in a separate, very chilly room for three hours while they did their secret "here's how to vote" or whatever, was slow torture. I took two naps, drank tons of coffee, read the NYTimes front to back (CIA Torture report, joy) and finished my book (see below). I was happy for him, and happy to be there for him.
We went out for a celebratory lunch after and had some champagne and some wine and it was really nice. I took a pic of him with his citizenship document and posted to Facebook and Instagram and so all the friends and family were happy. People who know about our split might have been confused and those who don't know were probably wondering why he suddenly popped up in my feeds. He was warm, kind, communicative. Conversation was easy. After, at a bar for one last, I said, "well, Saturday was AWFUL." And he said "Oh yeah. I know it's hard for you, it's hard for me, but I guess it had to be that way and now we will probably make better friends."
It meant a lot to me, you guys, because he's right. We had to get some anger out (the rest will come out in therapy or whatever), and now we can possibly, hopefully be friends/family. He's not a bad guy. I saw glimpses of the man I married (whew! For a minute there I thought I had the worst possible taste and married an asshole!)
Onward with the paperwork!
Okay, enough of that stuff (hilarity in dating stories later).
WHAT I READ:
I just finished The Stranger's Child by Alan Hollinghurst. You may know him from The Line of Beauty. He is often compared to Henry James and that is apt. He describes things with such an amazing eye for detail and everything comes alive. And hello, much gay subtext (and in Hollinghurst, sub and text).
No spoilers, but this book starts in the past and ends in the present and shows how stories are remembered, changed and hinted at. The most poignant secret may or may not be revealed, but you as the reader know it, and won't forget it. Different points of view lead to surprising revelations; a character you may like will be viewed as distasteful in another person's eyes. This gives things a multi-faceted view. However, time is condensed and a lot of "action" events happen off-screen, so you get a few disconcerting moments where you're thrust forward and unsure of what's happened until it's mentioned casually by a character. It fit well with the theme of the book as we're all trying to piece together the past with snippets of what's written and said and done.
Plus the gay kissing and sex and stuff. It's lovely.
If you wanted to,you could read this entry on Dreamwidth too, friend me there, or you know, bake a cake. Whatever you like. (
comments)