dance as though no one is watching...
Woke up this morning with what I can only describe as a crushing sadness in my heart and spent three-quarters of my shower crying. I know it's because of the dream I woke up from: back in my grandmother's apartment like, now (years after she passed), with my cousin and my mom (of all people), and trying to reclaim some of her stuff that was, somehow, still there, dusty, neglected. (Doesn't take a dream analyst to figure that one out, though I would be curious to learn what the hell my mom was doing there.)
Started crying anew thinking about work, realizing I'm now just over a month from my ten-year anniversary. That's an accomplishment, sure, but only if you overlook the fact that I've wanted to get out for what, five years? That's less an accomplishment than an ode to the status quo and an inability to figure out what I want.
I need to get out of my head today so I can pick myself up and get to work. Sheer force of will can work miracles, lol.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- read comments.
(Please comment there using OpenID.)
Started crying anew thinking about work, realizing I'm now just over a month from my ten-year anniversary. That's an accomplishment, sure, but only if you overlook the fact that I've wanted to get out for what, five years? That's less an accomplishment than an ode to the status quo and an inability to figure out what I want.
I need to get out of my head today so I can pick myself up and get to work. Sheer force of will can work miracles, lol.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth -- read comments.
(Please comment there using OpenID.)