Regret.
Last night right before I slept, I was thinking a lot about regret.
It's a big part of my life and it keeps tugging at me at the back of my head.
Ever since I left Germany, it's been hovering over me like a cloud.
So I thought I'd pour my heart out here.
Ever since I graduated middle school,
there are actions I wish I could take back,
things I wish I could change,
infos I wish I had known.
But that didn't happen and here's why.
For every drop of rain, blooms a bed of flowers.
Last night I followed the trail of my past.
If I undid this action, If I took the other road, If I lived elsewhere,
there are huge chunks of happiness missing from my life.
Like what, you say? Well, like this.
If I hadn't gone to my high school,
I wouldn't've met my friend Cynthia but, also,
I wouldn't've heard the presentation from the agency who conned me.
And that, in turn, would prevent me from meeting Firu.
Okay, so let's go a different route.
Let's say that I did go to that high school,
and I did get conned by the agency,
and I did meet Firu.
And we went to Germany.
What if I had known about the portfolio conundrum?
What if I had been accepted to the art school in Halle?
What if I were smart enough to move in with Firu instead?
What if I had led a very happy, healthy life with him?
Then I wouldn't've moved to Kassel,
then I wouldn't've met Saku-chan,
who later on becomes my penpal and good friend,
even after I moved back home.
And I would've been happy. Or Firu and I could have
broken up.
Now we've come to right now.
What if I'd stayed in Germany? Maybe continued my studies?
What if I'd never come back home? Maybe graduated there?
I could've died from TB.
I couldn't've opened a commission
and earning my own money.
Maybe I'd live my life absolutely miserable.
That's why, I'm not sorry for any of my choices,
no matter how horrible they are.
It's brought me to life's greatest misery,
as well as joy. And I wouldn't trade them for
anything in the world.
It's a big part of my life and it keeps tugging at me at the back of my head.
Ever since I left Germany, it's been hovering over me like a cloud.
So I thought I'd pour my heart out here.
Ever since I graduated middle school,
there are actions I wish I could take back,
things I wish I could change,
infos I wish I had known.
But that didn't happen and here's why.
For every drop of rain, blooms a bed of flowers.
Last night I followed the trail of my past.
If I undid this action, If I took the other road, If I lived elsewhere,
there are huge chunks of happiness missing from my life.
Like what, you say? Well, like this.
If I hadn't gone to my high school,
I wouldn't've met my friend Cynthia but, also,
I wouldn't've heard the presentation from the agency who conned me.
And that, in turn, would prevent me from meeting Firu.
Okay, so let's go a different route.
Let's say that I did go to that high school,
and I did get conned by the agency,
and I did meet Firu.
And we went to Germany.
What if I had known about the portfolio conundrum?
What if I had been accepted to the art school in Halle?
What if I were smart enough to move in with Firu instead?
What if I had led a very happy, healthy life with him?
Then I wouldn't've moved to Kassel,
then I wouldn't've met Saku-chan,
who later on becomes my penpal and good friend,
even after I moved back home.
And I would've been happy. Or Firu and I could have
broken up.
Now we've come to right now.
What if I'd stayed in Germany? Maybe continued my studies?
What if I'd never come back home? Maybe graduated there?
I could've died from TB.
I couldn't've opened a commission
and earning my own money.
Maybe I'd live my life absolutely miserable.
That's why, I'm not sorry for any of my choices,
no matter how horrible they are.
It's brought me to life's greatest misery,
as well as joy. And I wouldn't trade them for
anything in the world.