Romance vs. Reality
I always find it interesting to compare romantic notions to the actual reality. As a hopeless romantic myself, I always dream of romantic scenarios, in which I will be the recipient. But, having experienced some of those scenarios over and over, the reality washes me over and woke me up. Yeah, the reality of some scenarios aren't as romantic as they sound or seem. So here are some scenarios that have come to mind that I find so troublesome in actuality:
Reality: Okay, sure, all those notions...the first few minutes of sleep. Try watching someone do almost nothing (unless they sleep talk or thrash around in their slumber) for at least 7 hours! The most annoying part of other people's sleep is that you don't know when they're going to wake up (unless you need to wake them up). So it could take a long time. Forget 7 hours, even for over 15 minutes could get rather boring. As the person sleeping, there probably no downside. Unless you sleep talk and start talking about something embarrassing or taboo, you will probably only wake up with a start from seeing someone look at you when you open your eyes.
Reality: Uh huh, to do this you normally would have to fold your legs. Which means you will lose feelings on your feet so fast you wouldn't believe. So you decide to change position and straighten your legs instead. Which is all good but you will lose feels on your thighs. The only solution would be to wake the other up. But, really, you want to be that one who ruins romantic situations? Yeah, didn't think so. Being the sleeping one, you could also get crick on your neck, waking up to a certain form of neck and not knowing how to get it back without hurting it. Or, if you're a noisy sleeper, you might just roll off their lap - in which case, I really hope you land on something soft.
Reality: Yeah...about that. It works the first and second time you do it. But starting from the third, it just becomes a rather predictable outcome. You just end up getting irritated by all the things this plan lacks, namely certainty. It's not as if your whole life is spent just waiting for the other. If they say they're not coming, there's a chance that you will make other plans. And, even though you're probably delighted to see them, at the same time you're also a little pissed because they might've ruined whatever it was you had planned or because you haven't gotten things quite as you would like them to see. Also, as the person surprising, once you do it once or twice, they might not get as surprised anymore. Or, even at the first try, they might not give you the reward you were expecting. So, yeah, it's romantic in notion but, unless done perfectly, do not expect anything.
Reality: Not unlike being in other people's houses, being in his house means getting out of your comfort zone - your home. Sleeping over at someone else's home might be a little more endurable but being in their home is a little less so once you get in a fight. Sometimes you probably also want a space for yourself, especially when you're there for a rather long time. But, since it's not your place, your space is his space. And that will be so uncomfortable when there's a tension between you. Or, maybe, there doesn't have to be a tension. Sometimes you just want to be by yourself. But you don't have the space because you're not where you actually have a space of your own. Also, you can feel trapped because they probably want to do the things you don't want or vice versa. And! If they're the one sleeping at your place, they might ruin the dynamics of your place. Either way, you're out of comfort zone so it can indeed be less comfortable at times.
Reality: Here's the truth. You can exist without them. You probably haven't known them all your life and, therefore, they are a stranger. Even if you have, it doesn't change the fact that they're someone else. They may be a part of you in some way, not unlike your friends and family, but they are not you and, therefore, shouldn't make decisions for you - whether intentionally or otherwise. If you're too dependent on them, you won't be able to function properly. And, the truth is, if you want them to be in the rest of your life, you should be able to. Also, if the table were turned, you wouldn't like to have them all up in your space, do you? The same would apply to them. Every now and then, do not forget to take a step back from the relationship to dignify as well as identify yourself - with or without him in the equation.
Well, that's all the scenarios I can think of right now. If you have any other scenarios that you can think of, please let me know and I will see if I can see the realistic side to the notion. Seriously, I'm a romantic but I'm also pretty realistic. I have been in love with my significant other for four years - which is seriously nothing for me because I'd crushed on guys longer than that before - but everything surfaced. I'm still waiting on romantic situations to happen and all. But it's usually not the situation that should be romantic, but how you see them. And I live life wearing romance goggles so yeah.
- WATCHING SOMEONE IN THEIR SLEEP
Reality: Okay, sure, all those notions...the first few minutes of sleep. Try watching someone do almost nothing (unless they sleep talk or thrash around in their slumber) for at least 7 hours! The most annoying part of other people's sleep is that you don't know when they're going to wake up (unless you need to wake them up). So it could take a long time. Forget 7 hours, even for over 15 minutes could get rather boring. As the person sleeping, there probably no downside. Unless you sleep talk and start talking about something embarrassing or taboo, you will probably only wake up with a start from seeing someone look at you when you open your eyes.
- SLEEPING ON THEIR LAP
Reality: Uh huh, to do this you normally would have to fold your legs. Which means you will lose feelings on your feet so fast you wouldn't believe. So you decide to change position and straighten your legs instead. Which is all good but you will lose feels on your thighs. The only solution would be to wake the other up. But, really, you want to be that one who ruins romantic situations? Yeah, didn't think so. Being the sleeping one, you could also get crick on your neck, waking up to a certain form of neck and not knowing how to get it back without hurting it. Or, if you're a noisy sleeper, you might just roll off their lap - in which case, I really hope you land on something soft.
- SHOWING UP UNEXPECTEDLY
Reality: Yeah...about that. It works the first and second time you do it. But starting from the third, it just becomes a rather predictable outcome. You just end up getting irritated by all the things this plan lacks, namely certainty. It's not as if your whole life is spent just waiting for the other. If they say they're not coming, there's a chance that you will make other plans. And, even though you're probably delighted to see them, at the same time you're also a little pissed because they might've ruined whatever it was you had planned or because you haven't gotten things quite as you would like them to see. Also, as the person surprising, once you do it once or twice, they might not get as surprised anymore. Or, even at the first try, they might not give you the reward you were expecting. So, yeah, it's romantic in notion but, unless done perfectly, do not expect anything.
- SLEEPING OVER
Reality: Not unlike being in other people's houses, being in his house means getting out of your comfort zone - your home. Sleeping over at someone else's home might be a little more endurable but being in their home is a little less so once you get in a fight. Sometimes you probably also want a space for yourself, especially when you're there for a rather long time. But, since it's not your place, your space is his space. And that will be so uncomfortable when there's a tension between you. Or, maybe, there doesn't have to be a tension. Sometimes you just want to be by yourself. But you don't have the space because you're not where you actually have a space of your own. Also, you can feel trapped because they probably want to do the things you don't want or vice versa. And! If they're the one sleeping at your place, they might ruin the dynamics of your place. Either way, you're out of comfort zone so it can indeed be less comfortable at times.
- DEPENDENCE ON THEM
Reality: Here's the truth. You can exist without them. You probably haven't known them all your life and, therefore, they are a stranger. Even if you have, it doesn't change the fact that they're someone else. They may be a part of you in some way, not unlike your friends and family, but they are not you and, therefore, shouldn't make decisions for you - whether intentionally or otherwise. If you're too dependent on them, you won't be able to function properly. And, the truth is, if you want them to be in the rest of your life, you should be able to. Also, if the table were turned, you wouldn't like to have them all up in your space, do you? The same would apply to them. Every now and then, do not forget to take a step back from the relationship to dignify as well as identify yourself - with or without him in the equation.
Well, that's all the scenarios I can think of right now. If you have any other scenarios that you can think of, please let me know and I will see if I can see the realistic side to the notion. Seriously, I'm a romantic but I'm also pretty realistic. I have been in love with my significant other for four years - which is seriously nothing for me because I'd crushed on guys longer than that before - but everything surfaced. I'm still waiting on romantic situations to happen and all. But it's usually not the situation that should be romantic, but how you see them. And I live life wearing romance goggles so yeah.