(no subject)

[alissaelaine]

honestly, is it weird for me to think that if i am in a relationship with someone that i think that its better to know if they are cheating on you and have an agreement about it rather than it jsut be behind your back. maybe my outlook has changed wehn i was with brian i was all about the whole monogomy thing but now i dont want to get hurt again and i dont know. being in between like and love is horrible and i dotn wan tot be here or there you know? i dont know who you is i think its whoever is reading this.and i dont know. i mean i dont know want i want. i mean waht can nate actually offer me i don think that its anything i cant get anywhere else and he doesnt love me an di dotn think that he ever will and i hate thinking that i wont ever get the feelings back like i had in the past. and i hate feeling like this and i cant tell him how i feel but i want to so bad. i just dnt know if i could get the words out of my ife and im sure that i couldnt and i dotn know what to do i dotn wanna wait around forever for this not to happen and i just need to know. i dotn even think there is a point in writting about this and i dotn know why i keep going on and on. bu sometimes u jsut cant stop/
but its not healthy to do things that hurt u jsut to make someone happy thats one thing that i need to stop doing but some of us no why im that way and most of you dotn and well its jsut a complex i have i think and i jsut cant stop. its like weird its hard to expain. and i know that i am not making any sense right now and well im sorry if your actually still reading this confusion that has no place in anyones life but my own.

goodbye