Golf
Let's be honest. I don't know a lot about golf. For those of you who thought I was a golf connoisseur, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. So why are you writing about golf, you ask. Good question, I respond. Well, I just learned (and by learned I mean corrected a false impression of mine) some more about golf, and I felt that it was my duty to educate you, my loyal readers, (the both of you) so that you, too, may be as hip to golf pop culture as me.
I've played sports. I've watched sports. I like sports. I thought I understood sports. Apparently I was wrong. I used to think that first, second, third, fourth, fifth places, were all good rankings (that is unless you're only competing against five people then fifth place isn't so hot, but proportionally, ususally 5th place is good.). Today, though, I am proud to say that I no longer live under that falsehood.
I was on my homepage, MSNBC.com and a headline caught my eye (among others-I don't ignore the important ones). What's Behind Tiger Woods' Slump? I like Tiger Woods as much as the next guy (unless the next guy you talk to doesn't like him. If that's the case, try the guy after that) so I clicked the link (also someone was hogging the shower so I was looking forr a quick way to pass the time).
First, let me tell you that Mark Star of Newsweek wrote an enthralling article (ok enthralling may be stretching it a bit) that was clear enough for even me, the girl who cheers for bogies because, although I know they're not a good score, I still like the sound of them. Sidenote: Haha! Bogey! What a great term! End Sidenote. Continuing, here's the article in case you want to follow along, suddenly want to know everything possible about golf, think I'm making it up, or are too curious as to what is causing Tiger's slump, but I'll mention the highlights. ( http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5182130/site/newsweek/site/newsweek/ )
I'll go slow for those of you who know even less that me (population: bacteria). But for those of you who know more than men (population: everyone else..well, just read faster). So basically, Tiger (Woods, that is) is in, what professional golfers call a "slump". A "slump", according to dictionary.com is.
1. The act of slumping.
2. A drooping or slouching posture.
3. A sudden fall or decline such as in activity, prices or business.
4. An extended period of poor performance especially in a sport.
There you have it. Tiger either A. is actively "slumping", B. has bad posture, C. recently lost a lot in the stock market, or D. is in the midst of an extended period of "poor" performance (especially in a sport). He's not currently around so I don't know if he is "slumping" (How does one "slump"?). Nor do I know if he has bad posture, but when I see him on TV, it seems ok, but then again, I'm not a doctor. He may or may not be experiencing some downfall in the stockmarket, which would be unfortunate too, but I think what Mark meant, but perhaps didn't make clear to the ultra slow reader, was in fact D: extended period of "poor" performace espcially in a sport (quotes included by me, not Mark).
So here's the lowdown (which is entirely different from the down low-AKA the DL) that I learned from the article. Tiger Woods remains "ensconced" (as Mark said so well) at #1 in the world, 4th place on the PGA Money List with $2.85 million in winnings this year, (Note: Please don't actually ask me what many of these things are, as I do not know, but I got the feeling that I should be impressed-if you're really curious...well that's just silly), maintained his streak of making the 36-hole cut in 124 consecutive tournaments (or "tourneys" as those in the know call them), he's finished third and fourth in his previous two outings and just recently at the Memorial finished 3rd after a bad drive on a par-four that caused him to take a drop, which subsequently resulted in a bad lie (Golfing for Dummies: After he teed off, meaning he hit the golf ball off the white peg known as the "tee" with a "club", the ball didn't go in the direction that it needed to at all and landed in a creek. This meant that he could scuba golf (unlikely) or take a drop, wherein someone "the golfer" holds a ball and physically lets go, letting gravity take its course and stop when it eventually hits the ground (note: the timing in this can vary depending on the height of the golfer-tall golfers take longer). Unfortunately for Tiger, his ball must have rolled somewhere and made his next shot little better than from in the creek. All this I know from watching Tin Cup. See Kevin Costner movies are good for something)). Anyway, congratulations if you're still reading, and long story short (probably not that short) Tiger mananged to make par (got the ball in the cup in 4 shots including the one he lost when he dropped the ball). He finished 3rd in the tournament.
Now granted, his rankings in driving, sand saves, scrambling and hitting greens in regulation are lacking this season and he hasn't won captured a major in two years, but really, this guy is still placing 3rd and 4th in tournaments. Since when did 3rd and 4th out of...well a lot of people....become bad? Could our standards be slightly high? Maybe? Now I don't know a ton about golf, and I certainly don't know specific statistics (if you do, feel free to leave them in a comment) but Tiger has won a lot, we'll say 1,000,000, tournaments in his relatively short career and definitely short lifetime (he's only 28 for crying out loud) and recently he hasn't won any which is what is deeming this period as a "slump" (previously defined). But Phil Mickelson has been playing for a lot longer and has only won one (1) tournament and that's fantastic.
1000000 vs. 1
1 > 1000000 where's the logic in that?
Let's wrap up because I'm sure you've been reading this for 8 hours (I've been writing that long too). In golf, 3rd and 4th place in tournaments is bad and #1 in the world as well as the favorite for the U.S. Open is "slumping"...