I was thinking....
I am a moron...my old journal was still there, I just had to put in the right user name..sigh.
So how are things? well they suck over all. I mean I am adjusting as much as I can but, this is such a culture shock for me. I feel like I have to pretend things are going well though. I dunno if I can take even a year of this place. Not to mention I am sick again and pissed about it. All I want to do is get back to some kinda normal life I have been living in limbo for like 4 months or more.. sigh. First I get sick then our orders to New Mexico get canceled ...then I sit in Hawaii for a month and a half, moving from one place to another until they can get their shit together and say oh yeah....you're going to Idaho...so off I went. LA and Portland and the road trip were fun. I do like LA a lot, I just couldn't see me living there. It's too fake for my tastes but a lot of fun to visit. I feel disconnected here...which is weird because I should have felt that way in Hawaii. I guess ...I dunno what I guess I am so confused. I hate being depressed because it is so time consuming and pointless..all you do to yourself is make life worse and harp on shit right?
Ahh well on to the colleges here...yeah Boise looks really cool but it is so far and the base only offers so many of the classes I need. I can't see me driving for an hour to go to class everyday..I just want to be done with school already. I want to live out of the city but close enough that I can find a decent job and get to school without much hassle. I don't understand how people enjoy being so far from everything.
Everything just feels kinda blah right now like nothing is a big dela or matters enough to get a rise outta me...who knows might just be a phase.
I know my weight for me has been an issue..all that prednesone was killing me I put on 30 lbs since Christmas time and I dunno what to do because my thyroid is all outta whack and I am wheezy again, which means I may have to go back on prednesone...so suck. I want to have energy and...ugh I am complaining way to much huh and everything is bothering me.
So how are things? well they suck over all. I mean I am adjusting as much as I can but, this is such a culture shock for me. I feel like I have to pretend things are going well though. I dunno if I can take even a year of this place. Not to mention I am sick again and pissed about it. All I want to do is get back to some kinda normal life I have been living in limbo for like 4 months or more.. sigh. First I get sick then our orders to New Mexico get canceled ...then I sit in Hawaii for a month and a half, moving from one place to another until they can get their shit together and say oh yeah....you're going to Idaho...so off I went. LA and Portland and the road trip were fun. I do like LA a lot, I just couldn't see me living there. It's too fake for my tastes but a lot of fun to visit. I feel disconnected here...which is weird because I should have felt that way in Hawaii. I guess ...I dunno what I guess I am so confused. I hate being depressed because it is so time consuming and pointless..all you do to yourself is make life worse and harp on shit right?
Ahh well on to the colleges here...yeah Boise looks really cool but it is so far and the base only offers so many of the classes I need. I can't see me driving for an hour to go to class everyday..I just want to be done with school already. I want to live out of the city but close enough that I can find a decent job and get to school without much hassle. I don't understand how people enjoy being so far from everything.
Everything just feels kinda blah right now like nothing is a big dela or matters enough to get a rise outta me...who knows might just be a phase.
I know my weight for me has been an issue..all that prednesone was killing me I put on 30 lbs since Christmas time and I dunno what to do because my thyroid is all outta whack and I am wheezy again, which means I may have to go back on prednesone...so suck. I want to have energy and...ugh I am complaining way to much huh and everything is bothering me.