How Erika made a new friend yesterday (a story about bullying)
Erika came home from school yesterday and casually mentioned that she made a new friend. Now this is rare, because (1) she's somewhat of a social introvert, even though she is very confident and friendly with adults, and (2) she attends a fairly small elementary school, so at this point, she knows all 60 Kindergarteners that she hangs out with during recess and after school, and such.
She shares the story, and I imagine it went something like this:
School had ended and she was at the YMCA After Care program, working on some art work, coloring with some markers between the lines. She heard someone fall and yell "ow, stop that!" and when she looked up, she saw a Kindergarten boy named Ryan on the ground, and a bigger boy hitting him with balls. A ball bounced off his face, and as the ball rolled back to the bigger boy, he grabbed it and pelted it off the fallen boy's back, who lay huddled and curled up on his side.
She looked to her left, and then she looked to her right. She had been given a talk by teacher last year about "tattling" and that they shouldn't always run to her with their problems and that they should "try and work it out" between themselves first as she was "very busy" (yes, can you imagine a pre-K teacher saying this to children...!) She noticed no one else was responding to the situation. She looked at the YMCA providers in the room, who had not noticed what was happening. She looked at the older kids, who had now turned to watch this commotion, but did not get up from their benches to help Ryan. Still gripping her marker, she looked down at her paper. She knew what to do. She stood up, and walked over to the boy.
She noted the boy was not hurt. He was embarassed to be on the floor and a little agitated that the bigger boy wasn't letting up, but he seemed to be otherwise physically unharmed. She picked up the ball that had landed near Ryan's feet, and held it in her two hands, close to her chest. She was unsure what to do next. The bigger boy smiled and came closer, with outstretched arms, and said "pass it to me." She knew better than to give it back to him, but she still wasn't sure what to do.
That was when a bigger girl came up to the situation. She took the ball gently from Erika, and looked the bigger boy square in the eye. "If I give you this ball back, do you promise not to hit Ryan again?" The bigger boy agreed; they even pinkie-swore on it. (Erika says this part with great emphasis, her eyes widening with emphasis). But as soon as the bigger boy gets it back (as you notice, Erika never learns his name), he throws it right at Ryan's head, and knocks him back from a sitting position to the ground.
"Hey!" Erika yells, and puts her body between Ryan's and the bigger boy. She holds her hand up in the universal "stop" sign, and she is frowning. Her heart is pounding and she's afraid the bigger boy will take another ball and throw it at her, but she says "No! Ryan said stop!" The bigger girl picks up the ball, takes her by the hand, and together they go over to the YMCA teacher and tell her what happened, pointing and gesturing at the bigger boy. The teacher handles it from there, and the bigger girl smiles at Erika and says "hey, my name's Krista. What's yours?"
"Erika," she replies a little shyly.
"Nice to meet you, Erika," she says. "Wanna be friends?"
And that's the story of how Erika gained a friend yesterday.
She shares the story, and I imagine it went something like this:
School had ended and she was at the YMCA After Care program, working on some art work, coloring with some markers between the lines. She heard someone fall and yell "ow, stop that!" and when she looked up, she saw a Kindergarten boy named Ryan on the ground, and a bigger boy hitting him with balls. A ball bounced off his face, and as the ball rolled back to the bigger boy, he grabbed it and pelted it off the fallen boy's back, who lay huddled and curled up on his side.
She looked to her left, and then she looked to her right. She had been given a talk by teacher last year about "tattling" and that they shouldn't always run to her with their problems and that they should "try and work it out" between themselves first as she was "very busy" (yes, can you imagine a pre-K teacher saying this to children...!) She noticed no one else was responding to the situation. She looked at the YMCA providers in the room, who had not noticed what was happening. She looked at the older kids, who had now turned to watch this commotion, but did not get up from their benches to help Ryan. Still gripping her marker, she looked down at her paper. She knew what to do. She stood up, and walked over to the boy.
She noted the boy was not hurt. He was embarassed to be on the floor and a little agitated that the bigger boy wasn't letting up, but he seemed to be otherwise physically unharmed. She picked up the ball that had landed near Ryan's feet, and held it in her two hands, close to her chest. She was unsure what to do next. The bigger boy smiled and came closer, with outstretched arms, and said "pass it to me." She knew better than to give it back to him, but she still wasn't sure what to do.
That was when a bigger girl came up to the situation. She took the ball gently from Erika, and looked the bigger boy square in the eye. "If I give you this ball back, do you promise not to hit Ryan again?" The bigger boy agreed; they even pinkie-swore on it. (Erika says this part with great emphasis, her eyes widening with emphasis). But as soon as the bigger boy gets it back (as you notice, Erika never learns his name), he throws it right at Ryan's head, and knocks him back from a sitting position to the ground.
"Hey!" Erika yells, and puts her body between Ryan's and the bigger boy. She holds her hand up in the universal "stop" sign, and she is frowning. Her heart is pounding and she's afraid the bigger boy will take another ball and throw it at her, but she says "No! Ryan said stop!" The bigger girl picks up the ball, takes her by the hand, and together they go over to the YMCA teacher and tell her what happened, pointing and gesturing at the bigger boy. The teacher handles it from there, and the bigger girl smiles at Erika and says "hey, my name's Krista. What's yours?"
"Erika," she replies a little shyly.
"Nice to meet you, Erika," she says. "Wanna be friends?"
And that's the story of how Erika gained a friend yesterday.